falling into oblivion
that will last eternity
noone to remember
noone to come rescue me.
all alone in nothingness,
nothing there to see.
my brain cannot handle this
and starts the illusion for me...

in my imagined house
on my imagined street
i argue with imagination
over what i eat.
i walk my imagined dog,
i wash imagined car,
i talk to imagined family,
forgetting what they are.

i have imagined memories
of childhood friends and pets
of teenage angst and young romance
but all without regrets.
imagined names all corresponding
to imagined faces,
each with imagined memories
set in imagined places.

and for awhile perfection
i imagine i acheive
but then my brain starts struggling,
it's too hard to believe.

this world starts to break down
gaping holes tear at this life.
it turns into a living Hell
so i take imagined knife
the flaw is simply: human minds
can't believe perfect exists
so i take imagined knife
and slit imagined wrists.

i watch my made-up funeral,
confusion i now feel.
am i alive or am i dead?
am i even real?

now i'm in my coffin,
wooden walls surround.
i feel the gentle bump
as it hits imagined ground.
the bottom of the box falls out
and in a sickened thrall
i watch as made-up world dissolves
and I begin to fall

falling into oblivion
that will last eternity
too much time to myself
so I start to question me
was I falling all the time
or was that short life real?
did I just throw it all away
cos I was scared to feel?