A/N: So, this was just a little something I had to get out of my system. I've had a hard time focusing on writing High Maintenance III lately, and the person who inspired this little one shot is the reason why. None of this happened in real life, except I did meet someone with eyes so pretty and blue that I can't stop looking at him (he actually looks a lot like the emo version of Theo - but prettier). XD
Not really sure what this is, but I just had to...do something...to be able to breathe again. I have in no way abandoned the High Maintenance series, and Scooter's story is coming along just fine most of the time. :)
Blue, Blue Eyes
I did not expect to run into you that day. I did not expect to run into anyone that day. I did expect to stay in wearing my pyjamas all day, watching soap operas and eating unhealthy snacks and ice cream, trying to get over the breakup with a real douchebag. Why it made me so sad, I have no idea, because he was a loser who treated me like crap. I should've been the one to break up with him a long time ago, and yet here I was, crying my eyes out over someone who wasn't worth a single tear.
The only reason why I went out anyway, was the lack of toilet paper. I couldn't really do without it, and I had used it all up from blowing my nose and wiping off my tears, so I had to go grocery shopping. I didn't really feel like dressing up or anything, but as my eyes were red from crying, I did put on a little makeup, though not nearly as much as usually. I threw on a pair of leggings, a jeans skirt, and a yellow blouse underneath my light blue jacket. I didn't bother doing anything about my hair, so I just let it down. Then I put on my black boots and walked the short distance to the local supermarket.
Right when I walked through the glass doors by the entrance, the air curtain blew up my skirt in real Marilyn Monroe fashion, and when I flattened it with my hands, I accidentally dropped my credit card on the floor. That's when you walked in. Or out, to be a little more exact. I was too stunned by your beautiful, blue eyes and the adrenaline kick when they looked into mine, to do anything but stare at you, but you just bent down and picked up my credit card from the floor. When you handed it to me - your small smile just as beautiful as your eyes - I couldn't say a word. I should've said thank you, but I didn't. I just stared at you. I think it made your smile a little wider and, if I'm not mistaken, also amused. When you pressed the credit card into my hand and I failed to respond, your thumb brushed over mine, and I could've sworn it wasn't accidental.
And then, just as fast as you had appeared, you disappeared again. The moment had passed, and you left me with a feeling of something else than sadness over a breakup, which never should've made me feel anything but happiness in the first place. You left me with a feeling of hope. Of new beginnings. And a chance to erase the past and wipe clean the scoreboard.
Continuing into the store instead of following you outside may have been the biggest mistake of my life. I walked around a little without really looking for the few things on my shopping list, and suddenly I just knew I had to find you. I let groceries be groceries and hurried back outside just to find you gone. You were no where to be seen in the parking lot, and for a while I just stood there watching every single car that left, but you weren't in any of them. I looked around for places you could've gone to. The bus stop? Possibly. You had only been carrying a small bag of groceries, so you might also have walked to wherever you were going, if it wasn't too far away.
I had no idea what to do, so I just began walking. I looked around and watched everyone I saw, but they were not you. I passed the park and noticed the flowers blooming and the trees turning green with new leaves. Yesterday they had all seemed dead in the cold and snowy winter, but today everything had come alive with spring. I felt the sun warming my cheeks as I continued uphill towards... Towards what? I had no idea where I was going, but I just knew I had to.
I was close to the next bus stop, when I saw someone getting on a bus. The black hair and the grey flap of a coat could've been yours, but the bus had gone long before I reached it. I looked through the timetable on the shelter and waited for the next bus, and when it arrived I got on it in my pursuit of something so incomprehensible and yet so real.
They were ten minutes apart, so the chance of finding you anywhere near a bus stop was very small, but it was the only hope I had, and I clung to it like burrs to dog fur. I looked at everyone I saw, I looked into cars and doorways, I even looked through people's windows, but I saw no one that even resembled you. I spent a great deal of my afternoon on the bus with very little luck. In the end I got off in a neighbourhood I didn't know. I was desperate. So desperate that I considered going from door to door to ring the doorbells.
I looked at the nameplate of the first house I approached, and I just knew. This was your house. Your home. Your... Family? It had three names on the nameplate. Dmitry, Marina, and Roman. Were they your wife and son? I suddenly felt all air being knocked out of me, as I finally came out of my daze. What was I thinking? Following a stranger to a strange neighbourhood all the way across town? It made no sense, and how did I even know this was your house? I didn't. It was all just something I had made up inside my mind. Had I even met you? Were you even real? No, of course you weren't. No one could have eyes so blue, a smile so bright, or looks so breathtakingly beautiful. It just wasn't possible.
I walked towards home feeling stupid and even more heartbroken than before. Why hadn't I just stayed at home? I could've used paper towel for toilet paper. I hadn't had to go out. I had just wanted to, for some odd reason. And now I'd wish I'd stayed inside with a heartache no worse than it would've been over by tomorrow. This one, however imaginary it was, would stay with me forever.
After a while I reached a bus stop and got on the next bus. My feet could really use the break from walking for a while. I had no idea how long I had spent on the first bus, but clearly enough for this one to take more than half an hour to get me home. I didn't stop by the grocery store - I just went directly to my apartment knowing all too well that the night would be long and lonely without you there to comfort me.
I went up the stairs to the third floor, my feet feeling heavier with every step, as all hope of ever seeing you again seeped out of me. When I was almost there, I thought about turning around and going back to ring the doorbell of that house. Your house. Why hadn't I done it? At least then I would've known for sure.
"What took you so long?" a male voice took me by surprise and made me look up. I had reached the last step, and there - on my doormat - you sat smiling at me and reaching up your hand to me. "Give me a hand?"
"Roman?" I asked with a frown and didn't really believe it. My mind was playing tricks on me again. You weren't there. You weren't real. You probably never even existed. I still reached down my hand to you to help you up, though.
"Yeah," you said and got up. The blue t-shirt underneath your grey, woollen coat matched your eyes so perfectly that it made it very hard to breathe. "Took me a while to find you, but now that I did, I'm not letting you go again."
I don't care if you're not real. I don't care if you're only a product of my imagination, if you're an angel, or if, maybe, I dreamed you into existence. When you hugged me and caressed my hair and then looked me in the eyes with a bright smile, you took away not only my breath, but also my heartache.
It might be crazy, but it's the kind of crazy that may last for a lifetime.