"I can't force security into you. That's not how it works."
"I believe in you even if you give me no reason to."
"You need to realise that we choose not to leave you because you're needed in our lives."
"I choose you."
No, those are not motivational quotes, and neither were they spoken by famous personalities. (And no, I am certainly not a Pokemon.)
Simple words spoken from one friend to another. Support given when my foundations were collapsing.
For all those who trusted me when I couldn't trust myself, and to all those who simply need to know that this is not the end.
You may have hit rock bottom. You may not see a way out. You may not see anything except all-obscuring, suffocating darkness. You may be lost, stranded, terrified and confused.
But you are not alone.
You may feel you are alone; you are perfectly entitled to do so. You may feel that no one understands you; completely valid. You may feel empty, exhausted, drained, done; it's alright. You may feel useless, worthless; insignificant, even. You may feel that it makes no difference- that you make no difference.
It doesn't matter if you feel you are broken. It doesn't matter if you think you can only hurt those who are close to you. It doesn't matter if you believe you can't make them happy. It simply doesn't matter.
Because they care about you in a way that is uniquely their own. Maybe they cannot say it in so many words. Maybe they aren't sure what to say. Maybe they're as confused as you are. Maybe they're crying out for help themselves.
Or maybe, you are too caught up in your own mess to notice what they are trying to tell you.
What is destroying you is hurting them too. They have noticed the change in you, maybe more than you have. They are worried about you. And perhaps, they find themselves helpless to assist you. They only know you are battling your demons. They may not be able to see them the way you do, or they may not be able to see them at all. And yet, even against an unseen enemy, they stand by you.
You have protected yourself long enough against friend and foe alike. You have spent too long protecting others from the world, and shielding them from harm. You have given too much in building everyone's foundations, maybe at the cost of your own. You have poured, poured and poured. But for how long?
You cannot pour out of an empty cup.
You have been their pillar. Let them be yours. You are not a burden they are forced to bear. You are a person they chose to support.
You are their choice. You are their decision.
You may even be their need.
And there is absolutely nothing you can do to change that.
Try pushing them away. Really do. The first thing that will happen is that you will cause yourself unnecessary pain, because - let's face it- you care about them. The second thing that will happen is that nothing will come of this entire exercise because no one is going anywhere. The only thing you will actually end up doing is further cementing their resolve and worries.
Overall, a pointless effort.
You have given away enough of yourself, and more. If you cannot learn to take, atleast learn to accept what is freely given. Do not let either your pride or your insecurity come in the way of your happiness.
You are incredible. And they know it.
If you cannot trust yourself, trust them. Trust their belief in you. Trust their love for you. Trust the confidence they place in you. Trust what they see in you. Trust, because they do.
They are not bound to you. Because they choose to be.
Because they need you. Because they care about you. Because they trust you. Because they love you.
And because, without you, things wouldn't be quite the same.
A.N. Hey there! Been a while. This started off as something and turned into something else. But, I'm happy with what it turned into. Your feedback is greatly appreciated, and I'm grateful for the response you've given me so far! :)
This week, I'm going to try to put up a post everyday, because I finally have a short break. Hope you like those, and suggestions/criticism welcome!