Planet 9.

can i make a sound,
a color out of step?
there's no planet big
enough to hold me, us,
i can still see the
stardust that made us,
and i refuse to belong
anywhere else than the
sky, more alive than
anything trying to hold us
down - the earth, these
bodies and lives.

i'm afraid again,
another misstep and
i'm found out of place,
slightly deranged, all
those sounds should be
colorless, should be
shapeless but we see
them clearly, bright
to darkness deep in the
mind, i'll lose my senses
before i stop dreaming of
music bringing dead to life.

i've been - i've been
feeling, there's a glitch,
a mistake i can't erase
and this typing machine is
erasing me, blank space over
indigo of innocence lost,
i've been - i've been existing,
within these four walls i
consume what's left of the past,
what the present burns and what
the grim future awaits,
sleepful yet always awake.

is it so bad that i once
dreamt of touching the moon?
you reach too far with your
mind and get stuck in a body
with a brain that always seems
to be lagging, loading, waiting,
and wasn't there supposed to be
a maybe waiting at the end of
each success? i can't find it, i'm
always lost, this moment doesn't taste
as sweet as the promise of a finish
line, something, anything, shit.

sorry, hey, sorry, i'm too
empty to start a fire, there's
not a spark, my mind is ocean
waves, my lungs are smoke and
waste, what a joke, there's
nothing holding me down so why
can't i move? i have never felt
anything as cruel as gravity, won't
you please let me go? help me let
go, slowly and gently, fast and heavy,
i'd choose any door to meet an ending,
here, now, stop the clock, say goodbye.

i'm a copy of a copy,
running out of ink, i can
see my veins going translucent,
losing essence, losing strength,
muscles screaming to take a break
from feeling dead, see there's a humor
to every sad existence, i swear i read
about it once, a while ago, maybe i saw
it in the smirk of a stranger, in the
pretty sparkle of a man's eyes, and i
knew then, laughing while empty is the
closest to zero gravity i'll ever have.