"So basically you died." A woman before me bluntly explained.
The woman sat on the bed in my room crossing her legs. If what she said was true then I would have imagined she was an angel however this woman had blood red hair and was dressed as if she had just been working in an office, a far cry from the image of an angel in a white gown with feathered wings, but more fitting of a demon.
I rubbed me head. "I really died?"
"Humans really don't accept death easily huh? This job could get boring fast." The woman moaned
"Oh I'm sorry my death is causing you an inconvenience"
While I had no personal knowledge of what happens when you die I was taken back by how uncaring this imposter angel appeared to be acting. She gave the impression of a person unsatisfied with a job rather than a representative of God.
"I mean I guess I can understand how you have a hard time getting this, you did have a pretty odd death"
"You died from dehydration in your own home." The woman said with a funny look on her face.
I have no idea how a person dies from dehydration in their own home in the Western civilisation and I apologise for the anguish my death will cause to my family once they return from their two week holiday.
The woman crawled forward and prodded me. "Bodies rot pretty quickly in heat"
(THANK YOU FOR THAT PIECE OF INFORMATION)
"So what happens now?" I asked looking around the room which I had spent my short life filling with collectibles and merchandise from the many series of Anime and Video Games I had taken a liking to…
…Is she reading a damn book?
I stared at the woman who was now laying on her back on my bed reading a book titled Overseers Manual for Trainees
This angel (Up for debate) before me was actually reading what looked like an employee handbook
"I'm sorry are you new to this?" I insulted
"First day on the job actually"
She had to be kidding I thought
"Okay so this book says that I'm to ask you if you have any skills or training"
"What type of skills?"
The woman turned the book to face me and pointed to a section which listed different skills which they were after. Weapon training, Magical capacity, Ability to transform into a Beast or Demon, ability to read and/or control minds"
"So you know nothing about Earth do you?" I mocked the woman pushing the book into her face.
"So none of the above, okay that's not a problem" The woman tried to reassure me and for a moment it worked, until she turned the book around once more and pointed to a line which said "Reassure the reincarnee there is no problem if they are a pitiful husk."
"Reincarnee isn't a word"
The woman turned the book towards her once more then pushed it in my face. "Reincarnee must be a word otherwise why would it be in the book?"
My God, her argument was flawless.
"So what is it we are actually doing here, can you hurry up and just send me to Heaven." I demanded
The woman giggled. "There is no Heaven."
Was she serious?
"You see there's not actually a Heaven so when people die what my people do is we just sort of move you around between worlds reincarnating you as whatever happens to be needed."
I went to a Christian school and got forced to do Religious Education classes and now this angel (Up for debate) is telling me there is no glorious afterlife. No white clouds and ability to live out your wildest fantasies.
"Do I get to choose anything at all?" I casually asked
"Well we used to give people who reincarnated to dangerous worlds one thing to take with them into the new world, but we stopped doing that sort of thing after one of us Overseers got dragged into another world with the reincarnee"
(Please stop using made up words)
"So now we sort of just do things for you"
(Things for me?)
"At the very least I am to ensure that you reincarnate as the same gender." She tilted her head, "Unless you want to try being a boy this time, you can do more things alone if you do"
My face went red. "Girl is fine"
"Okay, well because this is my first time I'm going to just use your same appearance in the new body"
I raised my hand to interrupt. "Can I get bigger breasts, the ones I have right now are a bit small."
"Erm, do you really want me trying to change things like that for you?" She asked.
The woman closed her eyes and put her hands together as if to pray.
"As Overseer of worlds I pray that you Ms…."
Her eyes suddenly opened as she quickly jumped to her feet and began to frantically search my room.
"Seriously?" I frowned
She continued to look around the room.
"You actually don't know my name do you?"
She stood still for a moment before spinning to face me and dropped into a hostile stance.
"Look I am not exactly having the best day right now"
"Your not….LADY I JUST BLOODY DIED," I shouted
"Oh boo hoo for you, do you have any idea how many of you people die like every minute. I have more jobs after this you know"
"Amelia Walker," I informed her causing her to drop a pile of papers which she had just picked up off my computer desk.
The woman returned to the bed and resumed her praying like position.
"Ms Amelia Walker, that though you may have suffered in this life"
"And afterlife." I insulted
She paused, "THIS WILL GO MUCH FASTER IF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP," she then suddenly screamed at the top of her lungs putting me in my place.
"You will achieve greatness in the next."
A blinding light filled the room as I felt my body being raised in the air and into a white empty void.
The light disappeared revealing a vast desert lit by a scorching sun. I admired the irony of a person who died from dehydration being sent to a new place to die. There was nothing here other than sand and dunes. No birds or even any sign of plants.
"Hey lady I want a do over." I shouted into the sky
I don't think she was listening so here I was in a desert with no food, no water and no sense of where I was meant to be going.
You know in Roguelike video games there's that small chance you could start a new game in an impossible to win scenario where a big monster is in front of you or the door you need to go through just isn't there? Well this was me getting on the bad end of the RNG.
I tried to think up any survival shows I had seen which might jog my brain on what to do here but the only examples which came into my mind all involved being in a plane crash. Actually now that I think about it screw those people, they crash in a desert with a plane and immediately have shelter and resources to work with while I get nothing.
You ungrateful sods
I did a quick spin standing on the spot and fell on the ground as sand parted around my body.
"Yup, I'm so gonna die here"
How long did dehydration take to set in I wondered. I didn't have a phone or computer on me to look up the answer to that but I guessed it was going to be a slow process. This got me wondering how I had even died on Earth in my room. I knew it there was a heatwave but I don't remember actually feeling thirsty and if I did why wouldn't I have left my room as there was no lock on the door.
If I met that angel lady (Up for debate) again I must remember to try to ask her for more details about my death.
Wait why am I saying "if," I am totally going to die again.
I heard the sound of shifting sand from nearby and while on my back turned my head in the direction it was coming from.
Something was definitely moving through the sand towards me but the question was what.
"Wait I think I saw this in a movie." I exclaimed to myself
"TREM" I was then pulled under the sand as pain rushed over my body from what felt like sharp spikes impaling me in every direction.
"That was fast" A familiar condescending voice remarked.
The angel lady (Still up for debate) walked over to me and picked me up before dropping me into a chair.
(Wow she is strong)
I was back in my own room exactly as it had been prior to being sent to that awful place. It had only been a few minutes but it felt like a lifetime and yes I know how embarrassing that sounds but I don't like leaving my room.
"Okay so here's the thing." The woman started to explain
I crossed my arms in anticipation.
"I accidentally sent you to the wrong place, that desert is kind of like an end game area where everything tries to kill you."
"Now while all that was going on I got a note from my superior telling me that there was a mistake and you were actually meant to be given a one off resurrection in this world."
I nodded more
"Now I would just bring you back to life in your room and leave you be but when you're new to this job and want to make a good impression to your boss and you make a big mistake like this you panic"
"So of course not wanting my boss to realise what I did I and what with me completely being out of my depth I decided to double down by trying to fix my mistake by editing a few things here and there. You know things like birth certificates, your online presence and people's memories of you"
(My head is going to come off)
"Soooooooooooooo the long story short is that you kind of no longer exist."
I ended my vow of silence. "Care to explain that?"
"It means what it means, I deleted you from this world so when my boss says "oh what happened to that Amelia person" I could then go, "What Amelia person""
"How'd that work out for you?" I asked her with a smirk on my face.
"Oh my boss totally found out about it and now I've got maybe a few minutes before the masked men come to take me away."
She did appear to be in distressed and I would feel bad for her but she had kind of screwed up my life and what with her incompetence levels reaching politician levels whatever sympathy I had for her was now residing in the rotting corpse she had left in my room.
"So you are saying that I was meant to be sent to Earth but thanks to you I am now screwed?"
It was apparently now her turn to nod.
"That is exactly right."
There was a banging on the door of my room but oddly despite the door being made of wood the sound was as though someone was striking metal.
"Internal Security open up" A man barked as the banging intensified
They were trying to break down the door, even I realised that.
"She's in here officers," I sang out as the woman started to run around the room panicking.
"Time to leave," she muttered to herself.
She pointed at me. "Oh right need to get rid of you, I'll reincarnate you to that world again but I'll give you loads of stuff and make you OP as an apology okay?"
Better than nothing I guessed. Considering I no longer existed according to this woman and not wanting to take any chances that the rest of her people were as useless as her I accepted the offer and waited for the light to take me away.
The light once again appeared just as I heard a crashing sound from the door.
"You've done it now Tabitha" A man barked at the woman
Her name was Tabitha I guess, oh well who cares.
New life here I come
"I don't believe it"
I was standing in a forest in nothing but my underwear with a container for water made from some type of animal hide in my hand. A piece of paper was also protruding from the corner of my bra which I pulled at to find it was a note.
Dear Ms Walker, the internals got me before I could finish making your new OP character so I had to rush through the creator and randomise your starting stuff, really sorry about that. I managed to get this note to you to explain all this and if you are reading this it means I have been removed from my post.
The area you are in is like the starting area where we send most reincarnees so you should be good if you find a village or something.
P.S. Please avoid telling people you are from another world, Overseers have observers wandering around and they might not like it if you mess with stuff too much because we are meant to take your memories off you but yeah, first day on the job and all
P.P.S. Once again really sorry, hope you aren't too mad
I crunched the letter into a ball and threw it into a nearby bush.
If she had time to write that she could have used the time better and done literally anything else like give me clothes or a chest of gold.
A howling echoed in the wind and it didn't take the genius of my resident guardian angel (Pending civil lawsuit for damages caused) to realise that trouble was heading my way.
Ah because the day wasn't already fun enough.