Love your reviews and feedback! I don't have a ton of time for writing these days, but I miss it so much. I have had bits of this story written and scattered about for years, and it just feels like time to write again. Love to all, thanks for reading 3 xoxo LA


His warm fingertips gently flitter over my open palm as we lay there, tangled in the sheets of my bed. Ice white streams of moonlight pour in through the cracks of the curtains and melt over our bodies. The way the light reflects off his deep, caramel colored skin makes it seem as though he almost glows in the darkness of the room. I try to breathe slowly, but I feel the air in my chest stutter; my throat tightens against my will. I roll my head to the side and clench my eyes shut, hoping the pillow will quickly erase the tears from my cheeks. I hear him begin to stir. He breathes deeply, taking my much smaller hand into his own and holding it tightly. Against my better judgment I open my eyes and look at him again; the way the light reflects off the muscles and curves of his back sears its way into my memory. I snap my watery eyes shut.

This is exactly what you wanted.


This is not the way this was supposed to happen.

This is messy. Complicated.

Exactly. You knew this.

No, not like this.

Yeah, exactly like this. You planned it. You did this.


This is not who I am.

This isn't supposed to feel like a mistake.

Drips pour down the side of my cheeks before I even realize I am crying. As I turn my head to dry them, her soft lips press against my shoulder, her breath warm against my bare skin.

"You awake?" she whispers, her voice severing the last of my fringed emotions. My jaw clenches like a reflex at the sound.

"Hmm," I simply whisper back, unsure of how to fake lust through the rage of feelings going on inside of me.

"That was…..," her voice trails off with the softest of laughs.

I cringe.

This is all wrong.

For the first time, I can't find the words. I don't have a plan. Going after what I wanted got me stuck in quicksand that I should have known better than to mess with. As I feel her forehead nuzzle against my shoulder, I swallow back the anger I have at myself and look at him sleep.

Figure it out, Noel.

Her lips press against my back again.

Figure it out fast.