I just wanna load a web page,
but I've been waiting since the stone age!
There's no way the slow way
is what these designers had in mind
when no one's getting satisfied,
so I'm betting I've got a drive that's fried.
Task Man tells me everything's fine!
The fan is cool and nothing's ramping the CPU,
but I'm dubious so I ran my scans:
Avast, M-BAM, R-kill and SAS,
and still it's ass! You dumb machine,