I've been struggling with some stuff for a while now, and I finally opened up to some people about it this morning. Cried a fair bit, but I think it was worth it. It might have helped. This afternoon, I decided to lie down for a nap, but as soon as I closed my eyes a poem started falling out of my brain. Nap abandoned, I quickly grabbed a pen and some paper to catch the words as they formed.

Starved for Light

With the darkness in my heart

A shadow on my soul

As I watch it fall apart

And it circles round the bowl,

I gather up my thoughts

I see what they have done.

I count up all my losses,

And tally who has won.

I pull it all toward me,

The gloom that is my shroud,

Concealing who I am,

Hiding me from the crowd.

Squashed down into shape,

Filling all the nooks,

It leaves no room at all

For taking closer looks.

With every window covered,

And all the doors locked tight

I've forgotten how the world is

When everything's all right.

I can't think about the sunshine

That used to warm my skin.

Nor can I the rainbow

That has all the colours in.

Nature doesn't thrill me,

Though it times gone by it would.

Things that I have cherished

Are replaced by things "I should…"

I should fill this hole today.

I should get more done.

I should put on a kinder face.

Now look what has begun.

I'm bogging down in harmful much

That will not leave my mind.

I'm wading through a festering pit.

If only I could find

A better place within myself.

A sanctuary for me

To push away the negative.

Then maybe I could see

The things that make me happier,

The things that I enjoy,

That make me love the life I have,

And revel in the joy.

So I will think of brighter days

Filled with light and smiles.

Where nothing bad can pull me down.

No shadows there for miles.