AN: Guys, I am back with another poem! Dunno if an author's note is really necessary if you have read my other poetry, but still, this poem is not a romanticism of bad things in life, of self harm or suicidal thoughts or depression or anything else. And my PM's are always open for talking. :)

When did I become like this

From the girl I used to be?

All sunshine daisies and stars,

Happiness was all I could see.

When did it all go down to hell,

When did I become so sad,

Where did I lose all that spark,

The positivity that I had?

Was it my ignorance,

The bliss of not knowing,

How evil the world is,

The world in which we are growing?

A world full of harsh judgement,

People cruel and cold.

Still onto that little hope,

Day by day did I hold.

But somewhere along the way,

My grip on it went slack,

As I let all the words,

Remind me of what I lack.

All my little short comings,

Of never being enough;

Who could have ever though,

That growing up was so tough?

After years of blames and yells,

Enduring every harsh word,

During the utter silence of night,

They were still all I heard.

After endless accusations,

Of always lying.

What was so wrong with simple lies,

When inside I was dying?

For every tear that I shed,

A part of me did I lose.

Between what is right and easy,

I could no longer choose.

Slowly as the days went on,

Piece by piece I fell apart.

No one ever paused to notice.

How broken now was my heart.

Still day by did I forced myself,

To act like I was content.

No one ever suspected,

How much I was spent.

With all the hurt bottled inside,

Onto myself did I turn,

The sweet forgiving silver sting,

To love it did I learn.

No one in that moment could hurt me,

When alone I cut myself,

For that moment I was in charge,

In this controlling hell.

Just a little scared girl,

In this unforgiving world.

Who took the unending pain,

Which towards her it hurled.

Would the girl I used to be,

Ever could have thought,

That for the girl she will become,

An escape will be all she sought?

Reviews appreciated!