Today, I've sinned willingly for the last time.

For over eight, long years

I've been plagued with addiction and love for sin

And a yearned to escape from it with a face full of tears.

And yet, I feel abandoned

Despite knowing He never will forsake me.

Almost as if I'm destined to sin again

So He hesitates to take me.

I know my mind is foolish,

That what I think is a lie.

That every flashback and desire for sin

Is another reason for Hell after I die.

I used to think,

"Sin, because you ask for forgiveness later!"

Now, I truly believe that forgiveness

Is a greater gift to receive sooner than later.

What good is life without His Love?

I'm from dust and will die dust.

Nothing that I build up, treasure, desire,

Worship, love, or lust

For will leave this Earth with me

Into the afterlife.

So if His Love, His Grace, is all I can take,

Shouldn't I put aside this internal strife?

What is there to question?

Why wait for your cake

When it's already free, everlasting,

Tasty, and pre-baked.

The only catch is that you have faith

And love Him forever.

That's more than getting five cakes

And then never

Having to worry about you bills,

Your struggles, your woes,

You burdens, your darkest secrets,

Or what you shall wear as far as clothes.

How Great is our God?

A mystery that he'd sacrifice His Son,

For someone who spit, slapped, cheated,

Twisted His Heart, and shot Him with a gun.

I can't understand Him,

But I understand how unworthy I am.

I tremble as my King has dominion over all

And can dissolve who I am.

I am nothing.

Unworthy to even think about the lowest title in Heaven

And yet He is willing to call me a son

And Love me despite my sins amounting above a billion and seven.

Oh Father,

Forgive my foolishness that I didn't ask for forgiveness sooner.

Oh Father,

I truly understand why I couldn't see Your Face nor hear Your Words.