The charade continued, now limited exclusively to St. Anne's Catholic School. Tara was friendly with Elliott – Mr. Logan – and Mr. Logan was equally as affable with Miss Harper.
Their professional affability and social pleasantry gave no reason for anybody to suspect that there was any sort of chemistry or want between them. Tara was being the submissive, obedient, respectable, repressed unmarried Catholic School teacher and pious adult woman and Elliott was fulfilling his obligation of honoring her wishes and the school's code of conduct.
Elliott couldn't fault Tara. She was who she was – innocent, sweet, undoubtedly stifled and limited by her Catholic guilt and insecurity. Elliott knew those barriers and limitations had not been broken by his presence and interest, although his baseball involvement had certainly thawed her resistance. He just wasn't sure if he could hold out to Memorial Day weekend to have a meaningful conversation with her again. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to go beyond their restricted working relationship? Actually hold hands? Exchange a kiss? Share a dinner? Go to a movie?
Elliott accepted the status-quo. It had been a while since he'd been in a relationship and he told himself he could wait in hopes that Tara might one day see the light but that if another opportunity came along he would move on and let go of Tara, as much as that would hurt.
Lieutenant Commander Logan drove to Newport RI for his Reserve Drill Weekend duties and he returned at about eight o'clock on a Sunday evening in late October.
He was confused and concerned to see that the lights in the trailer were on as he came down the stone driveway of the trailer park – his was the last one on the dead end lane. Then he saw Tara's car parked on the grass on the side of his little cutout parkway and he relaxed, although he was surprised.
"I knew there was a reason why I don't lock my door," Elliott said as he stepped into the warm trailer and found Tara seated on the sofa.
He was glad he kept the dumpy old trailer clean and tidy. It wasn't that bad of place (for a trailer) although sometimes Elliott felt claustrophobic. The entrance was into the fair-sized kitchen. There was a living space and a bedroom in the rear, along with a bathroom but that was about it.
"What if I'm better on paper than I am in real life?" Tara wanted to know.
Elliott put his sea-bag down on the floor and stepped into the living area. He had changed out of his uniform for the ride home and was wearing blue Navy sweats. Tara was wearing black slacks and a white sweater.
"Your stories, you mean?" He asked, taking a seat next to her.
"It's one thing to write about sex," Tara revealed. "It's something else actually doing it."
"Reading and writing about sex is a nice escape and perhaps even inspirational but we can't use it to hide from our real lives," Elliott said. "I stopped looking at porn because I realized I was using it as a coping mechanism between relationships. I'd rather wait for the real thing."
She looked at him with wide eyes. "Do you think this is the real thing?"
"I do," Elliott replied.
She leaned in and gave him a passionate and heartfelt kiss. Their bodies were suddenly pressed very close together. Tara stared at him for a few seconds and then she leaned in and kissed him again.
"Did something happen?" Elliott asked when the kiss was finished.
"No, and that's the problem," Tara replied knowingly. "Nothing's happening." She leaned in and kissed him for the third time.
"Is something happening now?" Elliott asked.
Tara laughed as she leaned in and nibbled on his earlobe.
"Not that I'm complaining," Elliott smiled.
"Why am I writing about us when we can be us?" Tara purred into his ear.
"Well, your parents, your job, your fears, your Catholicism, your…"
"Shut up," she groaned.
"Am I good?" Elliott wondered. "In your stories?"
"The best," she grinned.
"What's going on, Tara?"
"I've been praying," Tara revealed.
"About us?" He asked with surprise.
"About what I should do," Tara clarified.
"And what was the answer?"
"Be happy," Tara reported.
Elliott leaned in and kissed her this time. "That would make me happy," he said.
Tara stood and reached out for his hand. He accepted it, standing and allowing her to lead him into the back bedroom. She stood by the edge of the bed and effortlessly peeled her sweater off over her head. In one smooth move, her bra was on the floor and she stood topless for him to see. Elliott kicked off his sneakers and pulled his sweatpants down his legs and off his feet before stepping into her and gently cupping her bare breasts with his hands, causing Tara to moan.
She let him work his hands down to her waist and she helped him slip her slacks down her legs and off her feet, along with her shoes. She lifted his sweatshirt off over his head and they both stood facing each other in their underwear.
"It's not supposed to be like the erotic writing, you know," Elliott told her.
"It's not?" She whispered.
"It's much more personal, much more sensual, much more intimate."
"Show me," she pleaded.
Elliott placed his hands on her hips and slid her panties down her legs. She stepped out of them and now she was naked, her black pubic hair matching the shoulder length black curly hair on her head. He kissed her gently on the lips and he stood patiently as she nervously pulled his underwear down his thighs. She was so close to him as she squatted that his member almost hit her in the face. He stepped out of the underwear and calmly pushed Tara onto the bed. He slipped on top of her and kissed her.
"I think you're right," Tara said softly. "This is better."
He kissed her. "I have condoms," he let her know.
"Don't tell anybody, but I've been on birth control for months," she revealed.
Elliott lifted his head up in surprise. "Really?"
"The first time I saw you in your baseball uniform, I knew," she smiled.
When it was over, they lay cuddled together on the bed.
"Better than my stories," Tara let him know, giving him a kiss. "And I finally climbed Jacobs' ladder," she said.
"Jacobs ladder?" Elliott asked with interest.
"Brenda wanted me to break the rules, fall in love, and not worry about it," Tara revealed.
"And have you?" Elliott asked, lifting his eyebrows.
"I like the view from up here," Tara confirmed.