A brown haired girl holding a hot flowery mug waved at an older one, drinking her coffee at a bright red plastic table.
"Hey, Cathy !" she cried out loud.
The other girl looked up, surprised. A shy smile flashed on her pale lips. The dark girl sat at her table.
"Hi. How have you been doing ?" Cathy politely asked.
They have not seen each other for months, almost a year really.
"Fantastic. Miss you a bit, though. What 'bout you ?" the lovely brown haired young adult inquired.
She was grinning at the timid girl. The poor thing shifted in her seat, uneasy but well bred enough not to say so.
"I feel better now." she admitted, her head low.
The girl with the tea mug took a long, silent sip and raised a thin, intrigued eyebrow. She wrung her hands a bit under the table, looking nervously at the other for the first time. There was guilt written all over her delicate features.
"Really ? That's good. After our break-up, I wasn't sure... God, what your parents say to you... I am sorry to be the one that ended our relationship but I couldn't just stay and see you miserable because of it. Do you talk with any organisation for advice ? I had let you a few phone numbers and maybe an adress, I believe ?"
She looked at her ex-girlfriend, hoping to catch something from the nearly eleven months they were apart on her round, childlike cheeks, her large forehead or her deep brown eyes, but the petite blond girl was rummaging through her handbag and Desdemona couldn't see her face when she started to answer her.
"I am glad you brought it up, I wanted to talk to you about all that. You know, our er- past relationship and er- that sort of things. Where is their business card ? I used to keep it in my wallet, in case I needed to talk, but I don't need it anymore... Here ! You should use it. I recorded their number in my phone, you can take it."
Desdemona never thought she needed help in that part of her life. She had supportive friends and a mostly understanding family. Surprised, she looked down at the professional-looking card her ex had just put in her hand. She gasped when she read the small letters that formed words on the middle of the card.
"Catherine." she frowned when she saw her previously girlfriend looking at her expectfully.
How stupid was she.
"I thought about you this summer. I have saved myself but I couldn't live peacefully when I knew you didn't. I wished to help you too."
How could she have thought that Cathy was past that ?
"That was not what I thought you mean when you said you felt better." she barked through gritted teeth.
"The right way is always the straight one" was not exactly the words she had thought would be on the small paper card when her ex friendly gave it to her.
"Denying your sexuality for centuries old morals' sake is not on my 'how to deal healthily with my sexual identity crisis' list."
Salvation was a group of fucking rigorists, the kin that vote far-right because they skipped the 'Love each other as I loved you' part during the service and believed God was a hateful guy who wanted to cure half the planet from inexistant diseases.
"There is not such a thing as a sexual identity crisis."
Not at all the reason why she was crying while telling her parents that of course she was straight when they caught them snogging in their garden.
"Let me guess : all of us are straight but some of us feel perverse attraction ?"
It was the kind of discourse Salvation made.
Dessie had known abuse for her sexual orientation for years. It still hurt as hell sometimes, but she didn't take shit anymore from people she didn't thought physically violent in places where she knew she was safe enough.
It was daylight, there were a few other customers at nearby tables, Meg was at the counter and will not let physical violence be in her coffeeshop. Plus Cathy was alone and wasn't likely to assault her -no, she was too ladylike for that.
"I didn't think you will take it so badly, but in your heart you know what we did was wrong."
Maybe Cathy won't be the one to assault the other, then. Desdemona had been told she had a bloodily brillant right hook.
"I know nothing of the sort. The farther we go was shoving our tongues into each other's mouths and if I had bedded you it won't be wrong either." the younger girl answered angrily.
"Desdemona ! You cannot truly believe that. Let God forgives you. That Salvation agency helped me greatly to overcome all my wrong feelings. They saved me and they can save you too !"
She looked so candid it was disheartening. She really believed what she said. Her honest bright eyes and her open face didn't lie. Shit.
"You can't imagine how disappointed I am. I shouldn't have let you with so little guidance, and I am not sure I can forgive myself for that. I wish you see it as it was. Love, Catherine. I loved you. Not in a perverse way. I respected you, I wanted to know you better. And you enjoyed my company. Maybe it wasn't love, but there was something, and it wasn't platonic. Attraction, especially in a consensual relationship is nothing to be ashamed of."
Catherine Brooks sighed and pushed a string of hair beneath her left ear. She did it often, when she had to explain things. Her companion knew she was going to be lectured and braced herself.
"I like you a great deal, Dessie, but you are a girl. It can't be. I am fianced now. To Jeremy. We met thanks to the association. He is great."
She smiled dreamily but her eyes... They didn't look the part. The blond young woman was usually more expressive and something seemed amiss. Was she faking her adoration for the guy ? Her friend - no, that wasn't right, they weren't friends, her ex would be more exact- couldn't say. Was Cathy also attracted to men ? Perhaps, perhaps not. Did she love that guy ? Or at least liked him ? Desdemona wouldn't know.
"I can only hope you love each other. I wish you hapiness, Cathy. I am not mad at you, really, but at what society did to you. I have to go. Tell hi to your brother."
Ian was the only pleasant and decent person in this household. Leslie was a right bitch with anti-feminist views she had inherited from their parents and Cecil volunteered to make her straight. Ian had punched him for that, actually.
She could have found a nicest goodbye but she was fuming.
How could the girl erase a part of her identity like that ? It was so maddening.
Desdemona stood up, letting her empty tea mug on the table and threw some cash on the table. Sam, Meg's nephew, would take care of it later. Catherine looked at loss when she picked up her bag.
Desdemona barely looked at her. She had her say, and she'd better go before throwing a fit and murdering her ex for not acknowledging that she was no less a human than anyone else because she was a woman attracted to women.
She turned around, ready to go, when she felt the pressure of a small hand on her elbow. She stopped but didn't look at the other conversationist.
"Dessie, wait ! I'd like to see you again. I'll present you Jeremy. He has a brother, and some of his well, uh male friends are very nice. You need to understand : I can't support your sinful ways. I'd like to stay friends, but I can only do so if I am sure you give up on your unnatural inclinations."
The younger girl removed her arm sharply but did her best to not lash out against her counterpart. She pinched her nose, took a deep breath, turned around slowly and looked straight at the other woman.
"As much as I am sorry for you, I won't withdraw from my own identity to see you destroy the person you once have been just to please people I don't even care about. I regret nothing about our love story apart for its ending. And I am glad you're kinda happy right now. If you finally accept who you are, give me a call, I'll be glad to count you as a friend. Until then, good luck girl."