I can still kinda see your appeal
But I'm not sure that I can deal
With the silent treatment when
I might make you mad, and then
I'll get radio silence and I'm back to feeling
What will I need to begin healing?
Am I going to walk on glass
And tone down the sass
Will I suffer again and feel my heart race
A sinking in my stomach and a heat in my face?
Should I feel scared of losing you
Thinking of what you could do
To cut me out or block and defriend
Over something truly not intended to offend?
Things aren't easy, it's true
But friends don't leave each other without a clue
How can I recover?
What else about you will I uncover?
I thought you were quickly becoming a necessity
But obviously that was just a fantasy
I don't know you well enough to say
Honestly it could go either way
But this wound is fresh and bloody
And apparently the water's muddy
I'm having serious doubts
And it's looking like I might be out
How can I sit here like this
And pretend that wasn't heartless?
As much as it hurt you
It was incredibly hard for me too
I once swore to myself,
Through running water and tears
Swore by all that I held dear
That I refuse to consent to feel that way
It was a year ago almost to the day
I felt it to a lesser extent
And I really almost sent
A message saying what I feel
Was anything we talked about even real?
A million curve balls, like a record going round
Winding up to toss like a pitcher on the mound
Indecision, making space
How can I forget or erase
What happened here with us
And can I honestly trust
These events have me reeling
Escalation, there's no ceiling
To this doubt
It's not what I'm about
Having thoughts fade
And my mind might be made
Unless something changes
And my heart rearranges
We'll never be very good friends
And this is where it ends