Were there halcyon days?

Or were there just nights of dreaming of them?

I close my eyes and I have this picture in my head

My imagination is intact

As is reality

There's a song playing in the background

I hum it, but the second I think of the words

I do not know the music anymore

Everything is clear from far

Like a buzz, and I think it's a bee

But I listen close and it's nothing I know

I can paint pictures with everything in my head

But they don't make sense the second I put them on paper

They were so vivid just seconds ago

In the confines of a dream

But they blur as soon as life fills them

Hammering, hammering

I breathe like I'm thirsty

Gulps and gulps

But when I'm on the bed and staring at the ceiling

I feel like my lungs are not filled with life

I feel like the second I sigh and let go

Everything will be less empty

Irony

On days, the sun is in my smiles

On days, my heart is seared with his heat

On days, the rains are for dancing

And on days, the clouds are for hiding

On days, I'm seeking for silence, depraved

Only to scream, terrified, the second I'm embraced in its arms

I find reasons to be tired

And I find excuses to get up and walk anyway

In this life of two minds

The years go by without noticing

The years go by, every second blinding

The years go by

I sleep, the noise quietens for a while

I'm awake before the comfort of silence chokes me

I'm awake to find my way out of my mind's maze

I'm awake for the halcyon days.