It had been years since I last set foot in the Rockwell suburbs. I walked along the sidewalk taking in all that surrounded me; the cool August air and the leaves beginning to change color. I had missed this place more than I realized. The wind blew my hair around and I struggled to keep it out of my face.

Why was I walking? I was hoping to find someone I used to know.

Four years is a long time.

I kept walking along with my hands in the pocket of my deep green hoodie.

Will any of them recognize me?

I came up to the old park where we used to hang out when we were younger. I sighed nostalgically. I could almost see Terrence sitting next to me with his long black locks covering his eyes, Stella poking fun at Cam because he couldn't jump off the swing without rolling over twice, and Easton and Jeremiah complaining about how much they didn't look alike. Then, I saw her almost physically. Smiling in the middle of everything, Edith. Her perfect blonde hair flowing as she swung on the swing set. The way she threw her head back and laughed crinkling her enormous blue eyes and revealing her lovely smile, I could almost see it.

A cool wind erased the image and snapped me back into reality as I stared at the cool empty park. I walked over slowly and skipped down the trail deep into the trees. I let out a small giggle to myself. It felt a bit weird and silly to skip now.

The last light of the day came in through the leaves. I arrived at the place where the path divided into two, but the grass had grown over the trail. Almost no one knew it was there. I carefully stepped into the shrubs until I barely made out the remains of the secret trail.

It was a place I had discovered with Terrence. It led to the same place, a small pond that used to have cute, little floating ducklings. I stood there looking at it, it was almost the same.

This is where he kissed me.

My fingertips flew to my lips and I could almost relive my first kiss, and our last.

I shook my head and smiled at how silly I was feeling.

I was only thirteen.

I made my way down St. Johns Street for what felt like two miles until I arrived at Amber Hills. On the corner of the street, stood a large, white, colonial style house.

I smiled faintly.

It's still there.

I picked up the pace and walked through the chilly evening as I made my way towards the pretty house.

I wonder if he still lives there.

Part of me wanted to run. I felt an odd feeling in my stomach. It felt much like I was scared of what I was going to find. I was eager, nonetheless. I arrived at the whitewashed fence and noticed it was still perfectly taken care of. Unsure of what to do, I looked up at the house. All the windows seemed empty and dark, except for one.

There was usually always a housekeeper, but I was still uncertain if I should knock or not.

Suddenly I saw movement in a window. On the second floor. My heart raced.

I made out a girl I had never seen before with long black curly hair who seemed to be talking to someone.

Who is that?

I stared cautiously preparing myself to flee if someone caught me creepily looking up at a window.

Suddenly the girl turned, she stared at me and I stood there, frozen.

Shit. Uh, just tell them you're lost.

The girl mouthed something and the other person came into view.

The guy with curly blonde hair looked down at me in the streetlights, squinting.

It's him.

Finally, I waved and smiled.

He stared for a little, probably still confused, then mouthed something to the girl. Then they both disappeared.

A few seconds later I saw them both come out of the house.

"Raffaella?" He looked at me in confusion as he got closer.

I smiled from behind the fence. "Cam."

He and the girl came out into the sidewalk.

Cam hadn't changed much. He was a tiny bit taller, his blonde hair was darker, and his shoulders a bit wider. But he still had the same big green eyes.

"Raffaella!" He smiled and gave me a quick hug. "Why were you just standing there like a creep?" He chuckled as he let go.

I shrugged. "I wasn't sure if you still lived here." I looked at the girl who was staring me down.

Cam turned to her and looked at me. "Raffaella, this is my girlfriend, Catherine."

Catherine was the same height as Cam. Her hair was black and curly, she was very slim and was very pretty. Her nose curved down slightly, but all in all, she was a huge hit to my self-esteem.

Catherine waved at me softly and then turned to Cam.

"Catherine, this is an old friend I went to elementary school with. We used to be best friends." He explained to Catherine who forced a smile.

"Oh, okay." She interlaced her arm around his. "Nice to meet you." She spoke, barely acknowledging me.

I smiled and nodded back to her.

Cam smiled at me once more. "We would invite you in, but we were just heading out." He pointed to a fancy black car parked in the driveway.

I shook my head. "Oh, don't worry about it, I have to be home soon." I smiled sadly.

Cam nodded. "Sure." His bright eyes smiled and he turned to leave. "Well, it was nice seeing you again, you should come over for coffee sometime, just call, number's still the same." He winked and the turned away.

I nodded and began to turn.

"Bye." Catherine waved her fingers.

I'm not part of their life anymore.

They both turned and walked towards the car.

I wonder if everyone still keeps in touch.

I watched as they drove off and noticed the sky was dark.

I have school tomorrow.

I jogged quickly in the direction of home. The air had gotten much cooler and the streets much lonelier.

I was scared of going to school because I was afraid of the changes I might find.

"What the actual hell, Raffaella?"

I walked in and closed the door.

Carlos was standing by the window.

I said nothing as I kicked off my shoes.

"I told you not to be out alone at night! Do you even listen to me?" His curly russet hair made contrast with his pale skin. He looked tired all the time, ever since mom died.

I looked up at him to let him know I understood. This was how I usually communicated with him.

Carlos sighed and plopped down on the sofa of the small apartment. He rubbed his temples and groaned. "Please, don't stay out at night alone." He looked up at me with sad brown eyes. He was still wearing his work clothes

I was afraid to meet them. "I'm sorry, I just lost track of time."

He nodded and got up. "I'm tired, but there's food in the kitchen." He got up and slowly walked to the room.

I heard the TV turn on as I made my way towards the kitchen. I sat at the worn wooden table and stared at the half eaten Chinese take-out on the center of the table. I grabbed it and stuck it in the fridge. I wasn't hungry. I looked out the window. We were on the third floor. I could see the school from there.

I sighed and turned off the lights as I walked towards the room. Carlos lied on the blankets he had laid out on the floor. I could tell he was already asleep. I quickly changed and climbed into the twin bed.

Carlos was 24. And for some reason I couldn't help but think I had ruined his life.

If I didn't exist, he would have graduated college.

I didn't remember falling asleep, but I did remember hot tears cooling as they ran down my cheeks.

The next morning, I looked at myself in the mirror.

Red.

My red hair swished around my hips as I observed it. For some reason I refused to cut once mom died. I remember arguing with my mom about it.

"You can't cut it, you're hair is beautiful."

Remembering my mother, I sat on the edge of the bed. I missed her so much.

I carefully applied a thin black line above my lashes. It didn't look so bad.

My brown eyes looked back at me for a moment. They found themselves surrounded by a pair of long, thick eyelashes. I smiled to myself.

Today won't be so bad.

I fixed my green long-sleeve dress that stopped past the knee. I twirled around like when I was a little girl.

Today won't be so bad.

Carlos drove me to school that morning.

"Don't get used to this, I'm only taking you because it's your first day." Carlos looked forward and sighed.

I looked down at my freckly hands. "Carl?"

"Hmm? " Carlos slowed at a stop sign.

I'm sorry you have to deal with me like this.

"Never mind." I shook my head and Carlos nodded.

I could faintly remember when Carlos was carefree and reckless. He would come home from highschool running in the pouring rain. His soaked hair glistening as the thunder stuck in above him. I remember him smiling everyday, listening to music, being a kid... and I took that away from him.

"Here." Carlos slowly pulled up and unlocked the car doors.

I carefully hopped out of the car with my bookbag in my hand and closed the door behind me.

"Remember to be home before it gets too dark." With that, Carlos started the car and drove away.

I looked around at the school, the rest of the kids were standing around and some were walking into the school. All the girls and boys chattered among themselves, some were alone, and others with their significant other.

No one seemed familiar to me. I carefully hung my bookbag on my shoulder and took a deep breath.

Just don't make eye contact.

I carefully walked past a group of girls who stood there giggling.

I walked through the doors and looked at the paper in my hands.

Homeroom 109. Where is that?

I wandered the school for a bit while I searched for my homeroom.

120.

118.

I turned a corner quickly being careful not to bump into the oncoming traffic when the bell rang and everyone started pouring into the school.

I gripped my bookbag nervously and walked forward.

It has to be turning that corner...

I rushed to the corner, I didn't want to be late on my first day. I didn't see a small girl with dark blonde hair that was turning the corner and I walked right into her.

She dropped her Calculus book and watched as it slid across the floor.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed as I walked clumsily toward the book.

She laughed cutely. She was slightly fuller than most girls. "Don't worry about it."

I laughed awkwardly as I handed her the book. "I'm just really lost."

She raised her eyebrow. "I can tell." She pressed the book to her chest. "I'll help you out just tell me what room you're headed to."

I nodded thankfully. "Oh my gosh, thanks, I'm in homeroom 109." I gripped the strap of my book bag as her honey eyes lit up with a smile.

"That's my room!"

"Really?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yeah, come on let's go or we'll be late." She interlaced her arm in mine and led me in the opposite direction until we arrived to homeroom 109.

After all the awkward introductions in every single class... It was now lunch time. I was slowly walking out of Physics when I saw the small blonde girl spot me. Her name was Isabelle.

She walked happily up to me with a rather tan girl with a short brunette bob.

"Hey! Raffaella!" She smiled.

I waved shyly as I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear.

"So you're the new girl!" The tall tan one exclaimed with a certain curiosity in her voice.

I nodded and looked down. "Yeah."

"Well, I'm Gina." She held her outstretched hand to me.

"Hi." I smiled the friendliest smile I could manage and I shook her hand.

"Come and sit with us." Isabelle grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd. I let them take me along as I smiled. I observed all around trying to find a familiar face, but I saw no one.

We arrived shortly at the cafeteria and Isabelle led me to the lunch line. "You gotta get here as fast as you can or the good stuff runs out." She explained as she reached for a red tray.

Gina reached for hers and turned to me. "One time some guys got into a fight because it was mozzarella stick day, and one of them cut in line and got the last ones."

I raised my eyebrows and giggled. "That's so weird."

Isabelle laughed as she reached for chocolate milk. "Some boys take their mozzarella sticks pretty seriously."

I reached for a bottle of water as I laughed along with them.

"So, like, where are you from?" Gina asked as we arrived at the food.

From here.

I put an apple on my tray. "I came from New York."

Gina mouthed a 'wow'.

I shrugged. "Rochester."

Isabelle nodded. "I've been to New York City like three times, it's pretty cool there.

I smiled as we reached the cash register.

I think I made friends.

"So, Justin told me he was going to ask Jessica out, but he totally has no idea what he's doing." Gina picked at her salad while she pinched her face.

Isabelle rested her chin on one hand while eating her spaghetti with the other. "But, weren't you sure he was going to ask you?"

"Ugh, whatever. He's not that cute anyway." Gina and Isabelle chuckled at an inside joke they must've shared.

I smiled at their exchange.

"So, what about you, Raffaella?" Gina turned to me.

"Huh?" I looked up at her dark eyes.

She smirked. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

I felt myself blush, "Nah." I laughed nervously.

Isabelle smiled. "But why, you're, like, super pretty."

I felt myself blush even more. "No."

"Come on. I'm pretty sure you know you're pretty." Gina smirked as she picked at her uneaten salad.

I just blushed harder and my hair fanned over my face.

Gina and Isabelle giggled.

Suddenly Gina, who was sitting across from me, widened her eyes in surprise. "Look Isa, he's sitting right there." She pointed subtly with her fork behind me.

"Who?" Isabelle, who was next to me, turned to look. I noticed her smile and I chuckled.

"He's so cute." Gina stirred her salad with her fork as she stared behind me.

"What are you guys talking about?" I asked as I turned to look behind me.

There was a tall guy in jeans and a plain white long-sleeve T-shirt sitting down at a table. He moved with a certain grace that was impossible not to notice. His black hair and pale blue eyes made his skin pop. He was surrounded by a group of people as they all seemed to be wanting his attention. He smiled at a joke someone probably made. His smile revealed a row of perfectly straight teeth.

Isabelle sighed as I stared. "I would give anything for him to notice me."

I felt myself go cold. I turned back to face forward and stared down at my tray.

Gina noticed this. "Raffaella, are you okay?"

"I know him." I whispered as I looked at her.

Isabelle looked confused. "What do you mean?"

I looked at her. "I mean I know him." We all turned back to look at the boy across the way. "Terrence."

All of the sudden his eyes met mine. At first he smiled, then he frowned.

"Shit." Gina muttered as she saw this exchange too. I could tell she was somewhat excited.

Terrence stared. I watched him as his friends tried to get his attention.

The bell rang and I finally looked away.

Everyone rose and began leaving the cafeteria blocking all my view of Terrence. I hurried towards the trashcans as Gina and Isabelle followed excitedly behind.

"OMG, I can't believe what I just saw." Isabelle looked shocked. "How do you know him?" She had an inquisitive look in her eyes as they followed me to the exit.

"We were friends in middle school." I said quietly.

Gina brought her face close to mine. "Why did he look so..."

"Hey!" A voice called from behind us.

We all turned to see Terrence walking rapidly towards me.

I almost froze.

Gina and Isabelle stood still like statues.

He walked up to me and put his hands in his pockets as he observed me. "Raffaella." He almost sighed my name.

I tired to smile, but all I could manage was an awkward twitch. "The one and only." I whispered.

Terrence smiled big and then looked at Gina and Isabelle. "Mind if I borrow Raffaella for a second?"

Gina and Isabelle shook their heads. "Not at all!" Gina almost squealed.

"Come on Gina we have to go study for that math test." Isa grabbed Gina by the arm and dragged her along through the crowd.

I looked up at Terrence, he was much taller and muscular than I remembered.

"Want to take a walk?" He looked at me questioningly.

I nodded softly.

Terrence lead me outside towards the football field. We walked in silence and I couldn't help but notice my hands were sweating.

I wonder where the skinny loner kid went.

I looked up at him as he took a seat on the bleachers.

The people around us tried to hide their curious stares, but weren't very good at it.

"So, Raffaella, you look different." He stared ahead at the empty football field.

I nodded. "You did, too."

Terrence sighed and looked down at his hands. "Kind of decided to grow up one day."

I looked at him and he looked back at me. Our eyes looked into each other.

"I can't believe it's been 4 years." He reached for a strand of my hair and rubbed it softly between his fingers. "I feel like I can still remember clearly us hanging out in your front yard." He let go of my hair and then smiled at me with nostalgia.

I flattened out my dress on my lap as I broke his gaze.

"Those were the days, weren't they?" I smiled back.

For some reason this new Terrence made me nervous, I wasn't talking to the shy kid with hair in his face anymore. This was a totally different person. I couldn't help but lead my thoughts back to that day when he pressed his lips against mine.

"You taste like Strawberries."

I giggled and Terrence looked down at me. He poked my cheek and chuckled. "I'm glad you're back, Raffaella."