I tried to change my muddied hair

with high lights, sun-in, and conditioner that

promised " shiny golden locks" on the bottle

but nothing could cover up my edge, or my huff,

and half my head was shaved, with a piercing on my brow

at the age of twenty-one

I was alone and not in love

because I was ugly, and stupid, but really

I was alone and not in love because I didn't

love myself

Trying to escape at a house

where the green mountains turn white


into the bluest eyes, bloodshot.

He tasted sweet,

he tasted smoky.

answering texts rarely

receiving them often

fear kept me away?

disbelief kept me a bitch,

whenever he called me beautiful

timing was everything

then we were nothing,

and now Blue Eyes is

1,000 miles away.