Shadow of Sorrow

With this laugh, I walk away,
With this smile, I say goodbye,
With this note, I let it all be known,
With these words, I fall into the shadows of sorrow.

I lay far below in an endless reach,
Thinking of the stars for the last time,
How they shine and never let anyone down,
Now it's my turn to light the abyss.

From high above, I will watch,
Offering the comfort I once refused-

Life was never fair, was it?
Name, looks, standing money, personality-
Never was there a choice,
Is life always to be another roll of the dice?

None of us were understood -not even to each other-
We sat and watched the outcasts,
The nerds and geeks, writers and artists, the anxiously depressed-
We stood by and did nothing as the rest fell apart.

You saw them.
The ones with the hollowed out souls vying for just a scrap of peace,
Trying to hard to just make it one more day.
Those with the smiles of false, blinding light,
Those of us cast to live in shadows of sorrow.

Perhaps you were one of them, I know I was.
Sitting and longing for the care of another-
Sentenced to remain alone in the hallows I myself had made.
I sat alone in a faceless crowd of those I loved,
Forced to keep my heart pumping to keeps another's beating.

Never before have my words made sense to others,
What has always been clear cries of help have been abstract warnings,
Vague tones on cloudless days, sitting still and longing for the rain.