Luc Vasteel (One Shot)

By Aaron Kelly

"You sick little freak! You nasty pervert! You expect to have a one night stand with me and for me to leave peacefully the next morning!?" the beautiful woman with the raven hair and a towel around her roared in a shrill, piercing voice at the muscular, brown-haired, shirtless, bearded, cigarette-smoking young man.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't know you were looking for a commitment-type thing."

"I told you that when we met! You said you were too!"

"I forgot," he replied lamely, shuffling about awkwardly and avoiding her gaze.

"It was last night!" She moved towards him, rage in her dark eyes.

"Where's Luc?" Polana asked. She was a beautiful cait-sith woman, petite but with large breasts and luscious blonde hair. She wore leopard-print clothes that were rather revealing. Inside her mouth were glistening, sharp catlike fangs.

"With some girl from the tavern last night," Ironbody Titan said. A berserker wearing full armour and with a hardened icy stare, he was a force to be reckoned with both in an argument and on the battlefield, although usually on the battlefield, since he was a man of few words who didn't like to get involved in arguments.

"I could treat him way better than she could…" Polana said dejectedly. Ironbody didn't quite know what to say- No change there, as Polana had felt this way numerous times over the course of their friendship. It was all part of travelling with Luc, Ironbody thought. Polana's feelings for him were serious, but Luc seemed to only be interested in random girls in taverns. Ironbody just sat there awkwardly, not wanting to condemn his closest comrade's actions.

"Don't worry Polana," a new person entered the conversation, if they could even be called a person. Poppy was a wisp, from the Southern Mists. They were a sentient cloud of energy and sometimes a vague form of a girl's face could be seen in just the right lighting.

"But, Poppy, he'll never like me…"

"He does," Poppy said, "We all know that Luc feels differently about you than about any of us. He doesn't try and act on that, though, because he's afraid of hurting you." Poppy had what could only be described as a robotic monotonous voice.

"Afraid of… Hurting me?" Polana said, her frown turning into a smile, "I never thought of it that way. Luc's an amazing guy, but he has so many one night stands and hurts girls, so maybe…"

Her sentence was interrupted by screams of wrath coming from the upstairs of the inn.

"Sounds like he just did it again," Ironbody said amusedly.

"You pig! You little worm! You libertine!" Things were being thrown across the room. Glasses smashed and lamps broke.

"Hey, calm down, I…"

"Do not tell me to calm down, HUMAN!"

Luc grabbed a shirt and his brown leather jacket which was his signature piece of clothing. He nervously threw the cigarette he was smoking out the open window which he had originally planned to be his escape route while this girl was still sleeping.

"You… You aren't human?"

"NO! I AM MONICA THE DEMON!"

Luc looked puzzled, "Should I know you?"

"I AM THE LAST DEMON IN THIS PART OF THE KINGDOM! HAVEN'T YOU SEEN THE WANTED POSTERS?!"

Luc looked on as she pulled back her hair from the side of her head and revealed sharp horns protruding from either side. There was true fire in her eyes.

Luc had seen the posters of a demon girl, but he now only recognised her because of the horns protruding from the sides of her head. At the tavern where they had met last night she seemed like a normal girl from around this area, the horns safely hidden under her hair. But appearances, Luc noted to himself, could be misleading.

Damn it, Luc, you did it again.

"Hey, can't we talk about this?"

"NO!"

"Please?"

"NO!" he had to dodge a chest of drawers being hurled at him. Next, a lamp was thrown, which Luc narrowly avoided.

"I think you're interesting, and maybe if you'd like to…"

"STOP TRYING TO BARGAIN!" Monica had nothing left to throw, so she threw a ball of fire at him, which he narrowly avoided, almost singeing his perfectly-styled hair.

He moved towards the door, avoiding an onslaught of fire while also trying to button his shirt and looking around for a pair of trousers.

"Monica, look, you're a nice girl…"

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT!"

He opened the door and ran, a fireball chasing him down the hallway.

My gun! Luc realised.

"Hey, uh… Monica? Is there a gun back in the room with you? I wouldn't ask, but I really need it, it's kind of a treasure to me…"

Monica paused, and to Luc's surprise, she actually looked around for it.

"No," she said calmly, "There is no gun here."

Luc sighed. He had gotten so drunk last night that he now had no idea where his gun was. That was a prized possession of his, given to him by someone special, and it annoyed him that he had gotten so careless both with whom he had chosen to spend the night with and also neglecting to keep the one treasure from his past safe.

"WERE YOU PLANNING ON SHOOTING ME?" She roared, angrier than ever at this possibility.

"N-No, I just… It was from my dad, and-"

"SPARE ME THE SAD STORY, YOU FOOL!"

"It's not that sad, actually. It's kind of entertaining, when you think about…"

"I CARE NOT!" luckily Luc had reached the stairs and was running down to where his friends were before the biggest fireball yet was thrown.

Luc had successfully buttoned his shirt and put on his jacket. Trousers, however, were still an issue. He ran down to the lobby, where his friends and the receptionist were luckily the only people there.

"Luc!" Polana smiled widely and ran over to hug him, "You look good today! That underwear suits you! The polka dots bring out your eyes! Of course, all underwear suits you, but this pair suits you especially!"

"Thanks, Polana, that's so nice of you!" Luc smiled back to her, and she blushed. He wriggled himself free from her loving embrace, a worried expression replacing his smile, "But, guys, we need to get out of here!"

"What is it this time, Luc?" Poppy asked, their voice a little bit disapproving and a little bit amused. This was a common occurrence, so the wisp was more than used to it. The vague face of the girl grinned; Excitement like this was scarcely found in the Southern Mists.

"More like what is she this time?" Ironbody said with a grin, "Another race ticked off your checklist of which ones you've slept with? Could be a banshee, judging by that scream earlier."

"Nah, we're too far south for there to be banshees, which is why we do need to get a trip north sometime so I can tick that one off the list," Luc grinned; he and Ironbody had a joke that Luc had a list of all the races that he wanted to have a one night stand with. "This one's a demon," Luc continued, "And she'll be down here any second, where's Denzel?"

"Outside," Ironbody said, "He's still drinking. Figured he'd take your gun out and do some target practice."

"So that's where my gun is," Luc sighed with relief, "Anyway, let's get the old drunkard and get outta here."

"Gotcha," Ironbody replied, "Polana, Poppy, we're leaving!"

Luc went over to the receptionist, a young lady with blonde hair in a bun and bright blue eyes. She blushed slightly and fiddled with her hair as he came over, trying to look busy while flitting her eyes to look at him every few seconds.

"Look, my room's been trashed, but…" he handed her all the money he could find in the pockets of his jacket and emptied it from his hands onto the reception desk.

"Thank you sir, but… For a destroyed room at the hands of a demon outlaw, I don't know if that will cover it."

He winked at her. "Listen, I'll still be in the area for a while, so how about if I survive this, I come back here when you're off work and take you on a date and we call it even?"

She giggled, "You've sure got guts… Sounds like a plan. What's your name, cutie?"

"Luc Vasteel," he grinned, "When do you get off?" he called back to her as he was moving to leave.

"Eight!" She said, then gave out a little shrill scream as Monica stalked past her, more furious than ever. Luc had now broken into a run for the door to get away from her.

He ran round the back of the inn to where his friends had gone, ignoring Monica's enraged screams of "PERVERT!" and "MANIPULATOR!"

When he turned the corner, a humanoid crocodile in nothing but shorts was firing off Luc's gun at some birds nearby. They scattered one by one to avoid the bullets, chirping in fear. The rest of the group were around the crocodile man too, looking on as he fired repeatedly.

"Hey, Denzel, you good?" Luc said, "I'm gonna need the gun back."

"WHY AM I A MONSTER?" the crocodile man, known to all as Denzel Croc, roared at no one in particular other than himself.

"Haven't seen old Denz this drunk in a long time," Ironbody muttered, "Hasn't been this bad since he tried to jump off that church roof back at Sumarston..."

"Ah, memories," Luc grinned sarcastically, "Denz, you're not a monster, you're our friend, remember? We're buddies! We may be freaks and outcasts and, in my case, devilishly handsome rogues, but we have each other!"

Denzel was crying like a baby, tears gushing from his eyes. "Y… Yeah, you're right, Luc… Th-Thanks…"

"Will he be okay? Not that I'm concerned or anything," if Poppy's face could be seen right now, they would probably be blushing.

"He'll be fine. Denz! No time! Gun!"

Denzel, who had composed himself just as quickly as he'd begun to cry, turned and smiled as if noticing Luc there for the first time, despite just having thanked him for the moral support.

"Oh, hey, Luc!" he tossed the shotgun with Vasteel etched intricately onto the side into its owners hand.

"Thanks," Luc could see that Monica was now hurrying over. She had turned the corner and was running down to where they were, where Denzel had been shooting. She threw a fireball and Luc heard a bird give its last alarmed cry before it was burned to death.

"We're gonna miss breakfast at the inn," Ironbody said, "It was only half an hour from now. A full Ogdenmoore Fry…"

Polana's stomach growled, and Luc felt a pang of remorse.

"I'm sorry, guys," Luc said, "I was careless, but… Let's get away from this psycho woman and then we'll worry about breakfast."

"It is of no consequence to me," Poppy said robotically, "As you all know, I require no sustenance."

"Thanks, Poppy," Luc said, "Glad you understand." It was hard to get a read on Poppy sometimes, but it really did make Luc feel a little better to know that one of his crew at least hadn't been let down by his rashness the night before.

"If I ate, I'd probably throw it back up instantly… That Flamescarper Beer is a mighty brew… Hey, Luc, why are you only in boxers?" Denzel, who was stumbling as he ran, finishing off a bottle of beer, asked, then added incredulously, "Are you trying to steal my shorts-only look?!"

"No, Denzel, I just lost my trousers in my room. I'll get some new ones later!"

"Or you could… Not do that," Polana said, giggling, "That would be an idea,"

"Then I'd be cold!" Luc laughed.

"You really are a little kid, you know that?" Ironbody smiled, and everyone laughed.

"I know," Luc grinned, "That's why I have you guys- I know I'll always have you to keep me right!"

"Agreed!" Ironbody laughed.

"Of course!" Polana added.

"Certainly," Poppy reassured.

Denzel simply gave a burp of approval.

The five friends escaped into a forest, not stopping until they could no longer hear the screams of Monica the Demon behind them…

Luc Vasteel (One Shot)/ The End

A/N: What to do when you have writers' block and have hit a temporary wall with your stories due to not having much time to write? Simple, add a little to an old one shot and put it out to see what your new readers think! This is an edited version of a story I put on my old account (SleepyGoron, it's still up) with about 500 extra words to better flesh out the story. I love these characters, and I have drawings of them somewhere in my desk at home (I even gave them theme songs from my own music collection, if I recall). I like the changes I made, and I hope you enjoy this little change of pace while I try and get through my temporary writers' block. Leave some feedback, and if you would like to see a series version of this, I may give it a shot if interest is high enough!