Ticking Time Bomb

At night I lay awake,
terrified that if I close my eyes,
it will be for the last time.
During the day when I see you smile,
are you plotting all the ways you could hurt me?
Because I am always nothing to you.

"You fucking bitch!"
"You fucking bitch!"
"You fucking bitch!"

Your words attack my brain
just like you attack my body.
Whereas my body, and maybe even my mind,
has withstood your assaults,
you are nothing more than a delicate flower.

You are precious.
You are an angel.
But so was the devil,
and everyone else sees the gentleman,
they do not see your sins.

In everyone's eyes, you can do no wrong,
but I see the monster that lies within.
It stares at me with those cruel, cold blue eyes.
I'm terrified
to speak,
to move.

You are a ticking time bomb,
and it's only a matter of time
before I wind up black and blue.