Saph, a male-to-female transgender human being, age 16.

Cassandra, a massage therapist who happens to be Saph's mother.

Atara, a therapist who is talking out Saph's latest problems.

Glenn, a kid in Saph's chemistry class, age 17, a classic bully. He won't stop calling Saph the "boy-monster".

Laurel, the popularity queen, who is actually a kind person and takes Saph under her wing.

Miss Grahame, Saph's honors math teacher, who is a lesbian and also takes Saph under her wing.

Geoffrey, the store assistant who kicks Saph out of the store.

Otto, the store assistant who is transgender himself and helps Saph get her new clothes.

Miss Taverner, the gym teacher who lets Saph change for gym in her office.

Mr. Tomaro, the chemistry teacher who refuses to accept Saph for who she is.

A waitress, named Tamara, who brings people their ice cream at Ice Express.

SCENE ONE: CASSANDRA's massage place. SAPH and CASSANDRA are arguing about SAPH's recent transition.

CASSANDRA: Spencer, I have told you this thousands of times before. You are to wear the clothes I have put on your back to school. You will not take them off. You will not put on my clothes as soon as you enter the building. You will act like a boy until we can get you a wardrobe of your own. Do you understand me, Spencer?

SAPH: My name is not Spencer. I have told you too many times. My. Name. Is. Sapphire. (faces away from CASSANDRA in obvious disgust.)

CASSANDRA: Spencer. I am starting to think you are touched. You are a boy until I earn enough money here to get you clothes so that you can be a girl. Understand me, Spencer?

SAPH: No. My name isn't Spencer. I am not touched. I can get my own clothes. Understand me, Mom?

CASSANDRA: (tearfully, as if just losing something you've had your entire life) No, Spencer. I don't.

SAPH: Why can't you just see I'm a girl?

CASSANDRA: Maybe I do. Maybe I just miss having a boy in my life.

SAPH: Are you talking about my dad? Dale?

CASSANDRA: Just go on home, baby girl. Take some money from my purse. Buy yourself something.

SAPH: Thanks, Mom! You won't regret this!

SCENE TWO: The local department store, where SAPH is shopping for clothes in the women's department.

GEOFFREY: Young man, what are you doing in the women's department?

SAPH: What do you mean?

GEOFFREY: (Forcefully) I mean, what are you doing in the women's department? You're a young man, you shop in the men's department. Are you lost or something?

SAPH: Why should I be lost? I'm a growing woman, why should I shop in the men's department?

GEOFFREY: You crazy or something? You look like a boy to me. Am I missing something? (pauses for a second, then smiles) Ohhhh, I get it! It's national Look-Like-A-Freak Day! Of course!

SAPH: (fists up) I am not a freak. I've shopped here before in the women's department, you've never shown any special interest. Why start now? (GLENN enters with his mother)

GLENN: GEOFFREY, old pal! You helping someone, or can you help my mother here?

GEOFFREY: Not helping, really, just seeing them out the door... He shouldn't really be in this department. (motions toward SAPH)

GLENN: The Boy Monster? What are you doing here? Shopping for your grandmother?

SAPH: No, more for myself. What are you doing, shopping for GEOFFREY here?

GEOFFREY: Hey, I'm not the freak here!

OTTO: (walking up to the scene) What are you doing to my old friend Mindy? She has every right to be here. You never kicked my ass out of here.

SAPH: (under her breath) Play it cool, play it cool. OTTO! I feel like I haven't seen you in ages!

OTTO: Mindy, where've you been?

GLENN: Mindy? Who's Mindy? That's Spencer. Or should I say, SAPPHIRE?

SAPH: You probably should, if you don't want to get your ass kicked.

GLENN: Some tough words for a "girl". You sure you're not still the Boy Monster?

SAPH: Maybe you should change that to Girl Monster.

GLENN: Naw, Girl Monster is LAUREL's title.

OTTO: Well then, Sapphire, shall we find you some clothes? (leads her away from GEOFFREY and GLENN) Are you transgender?

SAPH: (pulling away) What gave you that idea?

OTTO: No, Sapphire, you don't understand. I'm transgender too. Ottilie!

SAPH: What?

OTTO: Ottilie was my name before I transitioned. I'm guessing yours was Spencer?

SAPH: Yes, but don't mention it. (pulls out a blue skirt from the racks as the lights fade to black)

SCENE THREE: A therapist's office. SAPH is slouched over on ATARA's sofa, ATARA is in an armchair.

ATARA: SAPPHIRE honey, you need to have a social life. How are you gonna get people to accept that you're a girl if you don't talk to any of them?

SAPH: LAUREL has too many friends, and all the girls in the grade are associated with her. And GLENN's gang has made it so that I can't talk to any of the boys. (spits out the last word like a swear.)

ATARA: So befriend older girls. Like Eva. Eva could use a friend.

SAPH: Nobody likes Eva because she's on drugs. Who wants a friend like that?

ATARA: Then what about Justine? She's fine.

SAPH: She is a blubbery crybaby. I don't want her leaning on my shoulder, I've got enough problems. And besides, I thought we were talking about older girls. Justine's only a freshman!

ATARA: You need to learn to be kind to everyone, not just the people your age and over.

SAPH: I don't care. I don't need a friend. Everyone hates my guts. My social life is complete.

ATARA: Sweetheart, don't be like that. Everyone needs a friend.

SAPH: I'll think about it.

ATARA: That's my girl! CASSANDRA! Come on in!

CASSANDRA: I heard your conversation. Sapphire, why don't you need a friend? Everyone needs some kindness!

SAPH: This from the person who was trying to prevent me from being who I am.

CASSANDRA: Don't say it like that, baby girl, it's not true! I didn't want your clothes contradicting the way you express yourself.

SAPH: Mom. It's the inside that counts. You've been saying that to me since I was this big. (makes her hands go a vague distance apart.)

CASSANDRA: Yes, honey. That's how it is, and-

SAPH: So why can't you see I'm a girl?

CASSANDRA: Maybe I'm afraid I'll lose you to the same fate I came to.

SCENE FOUR: SAPH's honors math classroom. MISS GRAHAME is writing the homework on the board for students to copy. LAUREL is sitting between TANYA and SAPH.


LAUREL: Hmm? What do you need, Spencer?

SAPH: I can't see the board.

LAUREL: (pushing paper toward SAPH) Maybe you need glasses.

SAPH: Maybe. Can I trust you, LAUREL?

LAUREL: Yes, you can. Why?

SAPH: I'm not a boy and my name isn't Spencer.

LAUREL: Then what's your name?

SAPH: Sapphire. Is this okay with you? Like, me not being a boy? I mean, me switching genders? That's all right with you?


TANYA: LAUREL, why are you even talking to Spencer? He's like, the most socially awkward boy on the planet. And he's a total freak.

LAUREL: She is not a freak. And why shouldn't I talk to her? I want to be her friend. She's a nice person, TANYA.

TANYA: How do you know he's a nice person? Are you two dating or something?

LAUREL: No. Are you done copying the homework, Sapphire?

SAPH: Just about.

TANYA: Sapphire?

LAUREL: Sorry about TANYA. She's kinda homophobic, but you get used to her.

SAPH: How? I mean, I guess it's easier for you cause you're normal, but...

LAUREL: It is hard. And no, I'm not normal. I'm bisexual. I like boys and girls.

SAPH: Then why is she nice to you?

LAUREL: I think our moms knew each other in college. Have I ever seen your mom?

SAPH: If you've been to Massage On The Go, you probably have.

LAUREL: Oh, is she the nice one my mom sees? CASSANDRA?

SAPH: Yea, that's her.

MISS GRAHAME: Students, stop talking! Please, Spencer. Please, LAUREL. (bell rings and everyone exits except for SAPH and MISS GRAHAME.)

SCENE FIVE: After school in MISS GRAHAME's classroom. SAPH has decided to drop the bomb on her.

MISS GRAHAME: Spencer! What a pleasant surprise! Did you need me?

SAPH: As a matter of fact, I did, MISS GRAHAME.

MISS GRAHAME: What did you need?

SAPH: Well, I wanted to tell you something...

MISS GRAHAME: What, Spencer?

SAPH: Well, my name's not Spencer anymore, and I'm not a boy.

MISS GRAHAME: (looking and sounding interested) Are you a girl now? What's your name, if not Spencer?

SAPH: It's Sapphire. I'm sorry if I'm making things difficult for you.

MISS GRAHAME: No, Spen-sorry, Sapphire, it's just fine. I know you needed to get this off your chest. Does anyone else know?

SAPH: Well, my mom, and my therapist, and I just told LAUREL in class.

MISS GRAHAME: Oh, is that what you were telling her? How did she react?

SAPH: She seemed interested in what I had to say.

MISS GRAHAME: Oh, that's good. I know some of the students can be difficult. I'm so happy for you! I'll tell my partner tonight! She'll be so proud!


MISS GRAHAME: I knew you'd be fine with me liking girls, I mean since you fall under my category as well.

SAPH: I do?

MISS GRAHAME: Yes. I like to call us the Normally Abnormal.

SAPH: For a math teacher, you sure do like to play with words. (cracks a smile)


SAPH: Should any of the other teachers at school know before it leaks out?

MISS GRAHAME: Just MISS TAVERNER in the gym. You have gym tomorrow, right?

SAPH: Yes. I'll be sure to tell her.

SCENE SIX: The gym at Northview High. Students are playing a game of 5 on 5 basketball. MISS TAVERNER is standing on the sidelines with a whistle draped around her neck. SAPH and LAUREL are waiting to speak with MISS TAVERNER.

MISS TAVERNER: What did you need, Spencer and LAUREL?

SAPH: I just wanted to tell you something that might affect my situation in gym for a little while.

MISS TAVERNER: And what might that situation be, Spencer? And what does LAUREL have to do with this?

LAUREL: I'm moral support. She needs to tell you that she's a girl, her name is Sapphire, and-WAS THERE SOMETHING ELSE SAPPHIRE?

SAPH: (finishing Laurel's thought) And I don't feel comfortable in the boys' locker room anymore.

MISS TAVERNER: Hoo boy. Really? I guess I'm fine with it. A couple years back we had the same situation, a girl didn't want to use the girls' locker room anymore, was telling everyone she was a boy.

SAPH: Well, what can we do? I don't want to go in there again.

MISS TAVERNER: We can arrange something for you, I'm certain. Okay. I'm thinking. All right. Get your things from the boys' locker room and meet me in my office. (marches SAPH into her office)

SAPH: MISS TAVERNER? What should I do?

MISS TAVERNER: Change in my bathroom. There's everything you need in there. I completely understand your situation. Do you know a young man about your age named OTTO? He works in the clothing store?

SAPH: (a bit too eagerly) Yes, we met.

MISS TAVERNER: Well, I don't mean to hold you back. Go and change. (lights focus on gym)


MISS TAVERNER: Yes, Miss Salazar?

TANYA: What was Spencer doing in your office? Is he in trouble?

MISS TAVERNER: No, she just had something to share with me. Is that any of your business, Miss Salazar?

TANYA: No. But he went into your office in his normal school clothes, and emerged ready for your class.

MISS TAVERNER: Again, is this any of your business?

TANYA: No. (as MISS TAVERNER walks away) What's with all this "she" business anyway?

MISS TAVERNER: (blowing a whistle) Today, we will delve more into basketball with a new member of the girls' team!

TANYA: No, don't tell me that freak's on our team!

LAUREL: TANYA, be quiet! She is a perfectly nice person, if you'd just pay attention!

TANYA: Again! She!

MISS TAVERNER: Miss Sapphire Minton!


TANYA: You even call him SAPH now?

LAUREL: Friends use nicknames. Don't we, Tay-Tay?

TANYA: I suppose, Laurie. But he's not your friend, is he?

LAUREL: She. How many times do I have to tell you?

SCENE SEVEN: Chemistry class with MR. TOMARO. MR. TOMARO is assigning lab partners for the experiment. LAUREL is next to SAPH, GLENN is next to LAUREL and looking very displeased about it. TANYA is up front in the teacher's pet district.

MR. TOMARO: TANYA and Amir...let's see, LAUREL and William, GLENN and Spencer...

LAUREL: (waves hand in air) MR. TOMARO! MR. TOMARO!


LAUREL: Her name isn't Spencer, MR. TOMARO. Her name is Sapphire.

MR. TOMARO: His name is Spencer, has been since the day he set foot in this school, maybe before. It isn't going to change now, or anytime soon.

LAUREL: But MR. TOMARO, she doesn't feel comfortable being treated like a boy. She's a girl!

MR. TOMARO: And how does Spencer feel about this? This isn't a childhood game, you know. This is your junior year of high school.

LAUREL: I know that, MR. TOMARO. I'm not just making this up to feel more comfortable with her as a friend. This is real.

SAPH: It is. I'm a girl. I feel like a girl. Maybe you can't grasp how I feel, and that's okay. But I demand to be treated like a girl.

MR. TOMARO: I'm afraid that won't happen in this class, Spencer. Now, everyone get with their lab partners, and get your test tubes. These are your partners for the Chemistry Fair at the end of the school year. TANYA, could you pass these papers to everyone please?

TANYA: Of course, MR. TOMARO. (gets around to SAPH) Hello, "Sapphire". Sorry about Glenn. But you'll just have to deal with him, won't you. I mean, you're used to dealing with boys.

GLENN: So. I'm working with the Boy Monster. Of course. Which one you wanna do, Spence?

SAPH: (skims list quickly) Why don't we investigate the toxicity of silver amalgam fillings?

GLENN: So. You know what to do for this one?

SAPH: Well, we'll probably need silver amalgam fillings, whatever in hell those are!

GLENN: My guess is we take silver amalgam fillings and see whether the mercury evaporates in three different scenarios.

SAPH: Why three?

GLENN: I dunno, just a good number? And it makes sense.

SAPH: Do we need to talk to the Maestro about our thing?

GLENN: Probably. I hate that guy.

SAPH: Why?

GLENN: When my mom died, I guess he went crazy about it or something. Weeping over the body, threatening to tear it out of the grave.

SAPH: Sorry. He hates me, too, I don't know why.

GLENN: You know his son.

SAPH: Who, OTTO? But-

GLENN: I know. He's transgender like you. He couldn't stand the change. I guess you remind him of how OTTO was when he was female.

SAPH: Who, me? He doesn't even accept that I'm a girl!

GLENN: Maybe you remind him of what he misses most.

SAPH: (laughing) You sound like my mother.

SCENE EIGHT: Back in ATARA's office. SAPH is relaxing on the sofa, obviously pleased. ATARA is in her armchair as always.

SAPH: I made two friends.

ATARA: What, hon? This breeze- makes it hard to hear.

SAPH: (yelling) I made two friends.

ATARA: That's great, sweetheart! Who are they?

SAPH: None other then Miss Popularity Queen LAUREL and The Class Bully GLENN, who isn't quite so mean anymore.

ATARA: Really? I thought you didn't want to be friends with LAUREL because she has too many friends.

SAPH: Not all her friends like me that much. Especially TANYA.

ATARA: TANYA? I've never heard you talk about her before. Who is this TANYA?

SAPH: Well, she's LAUREL's best friend and she thinks I'm a boy, better yet, the Boy Monster. Just like GLENN used to. (she blushes)

ATARA: Oh no, hon, you like GLENN? He's not the best boy to hang around with.

SAPH: You're the one who said I needed a social life. Not everyone hates my guts anymore. That is my newly updated social status.

ATARA: Have you asked this GLENN anything special yet? (leans in toward SAPH) Hmm?

SAPH: Nothing yet. The school dance is in May, though...

ATARA: You should!

SAPH: Okay. I'll consider.

ATARA: Tell me more about this TANYA. Like, will she talk to you, or just call you freak and stuff?

SAPH: She mainly calls me freak. That is her main way of talking to me: calling me a freak and the old pleasant Boy Monster.

ATARA: So that's not GLENN's phrase anymore? It's TANYA's?

SAPH: And when she says it it's ten times worse than when GLENN does it.

ATARA: Why- Oh right, you like GLENN! Back to GLENN.

SAPH: Why do we keep switching between two aspects of my social life?

ATARA: Maybe I keep changing my mind! Now- GLENN.

SAPH: He's my lab partner. He says MR. TOMARO hates me because I remind him of OTTO as a girl.

ATARA: OTTO... Ottilie? I used to talk to him! Did he change his name?

SAPH: Yes, he's OTTO now. He prevented GEOFFREY from kicking me out of the department store.

ATARA: GEOFFREY tried to kick you out of the department store?

SAPH: Sure did! That was back when GLENN and I hated each other. I remember something about threatening to kick GLENN's ass.

ATARA: Do you really! Lovers' quarrel?

SAPH: Probably.


CASSANDRA: What did you talk about this time?

ATARA: SAPH, maybe you'd like to tell it?

SAPH: Mom, I kind of fell in love with GLENN.

CASSANDRA: No, tell me she didn't.

ATARA: She did. And he's her lab partner, too!

CASSANDRA: Did you choose these partners?

SAPH: No, MR. TOMARO assigned them. There's also a girl who hates me because she's homophobic.


SAPH: LAUREL's best friend. TANYA.

CASSANDRA: How do you know she's LAUREL's best friend?

SAPH: Mom, it's obvious. And LAUREL's my friend too.

CASSANDRA: You know Vicki's daughter?

SAPH: Yes. She stood up for me when no one else would.

CASSANDRA: I'm so afraid of losing you these days, sweetheart.

SCENE NINE: SAPH and GLENN are on her porch. They are thinking about what is going on between them.

GLENN: SAPH, baby?


GLENN: Don't you ever wonder...

SAPH: If our parents would let us go out together? Yes, all the time.


SAPH: Sorry, I shouldn't have made an assumption like that.

GLENN: Actually, I do wonder. (moves his face closer to SAPH's)

SAPH: Do you want to see the school play on Sunday with me? Grab a bite to eat? LAUREL's in it. And GEOFFREY and OTTO.

GLENN: I would love to.

SAPH: Where do you want to go? Apinya's Thai?

GLENN: Sure. Don't you love their pad thai?

SAPH: Love it.

GLENN: It'll taste better when you're around, SAPH.

SAPH: Will it? I know it'll taste better with you.

SCENE TEN: Northview High Auditiorium. The stage is set for a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream. GLENN and SAPH have front row seats.

GLENN: (leafing through the program) Look, SAPH. There's OTTO. I didn't know he was such a great actor! But look at that, playing Theseus like a true pro.

SAPH: And look at LAUREL. She's Hermia. Big role, but I knew she had the talent in her.

GLENN: And GEOFFREY. He's Puck. But now that I know you, I kinda like OTTO better anyway.

SAPH: Did the Thai food poison you or something? (looks concerned as GLENN doubles over in pain)

GLENN: Probably. It was good though. Think about that! Served by Apinya herself!

SAPH: She might have known in advance it was a special occasion. Our first date!

GLENN: Did you make a reservation?

SAPH: A little bird told me you like to be punctual.

GLENN: Can you refer to me as "a little bird" more often?

SAPH: Gladly. (lightly bumping his shoulder)

GLENN: (kissing SAPH) Quiet! The show's starting!

GEOFFREY: (from backstage) For your convenience, the exit signs are located at the back of the auditorium. And may I give a reminder that no cell phones are to be used during this performance. SO TURN 'EM OFF! Also, the show is starting. Please try to behave yourselves, o rowdy audience. Let the games begin! Oh. And enjoy the show!

SAPH: Not bad!

GLENN: Could be better.

SAPH: Your stomach better?


OTTO: What say you, Hermia? be advised fair maid: To you your father should be as a god; One that composed your beauties, yea, and one to whom you are but as a form in wax by him imprinted and within his power to leave the figure and disfigure it. Demetrius is a worthy gentleman.

LAUREL: So is Lysander.

OTTO: In himself he is; but in this kind wanting your father's voice, the other must be held the worthier.

LAUREL: I would my father look'd but with my eyes.

OTTO: Rather your eyes must with his judgement look.

LAUREL: I do entreat your grace to pardon me. I know not by what power I am made bold, nor how it may concern my modesty, in such a presence here to plead my thoughts; but I beseech your grace that I may know the worst that may befall me in this case, if I refuse to wed Demetrius.

GLENN: (to SAPH) It seems so real!

SAPH: Haven't you seen a play before?

GLENN: A bit of one.

SAPH: You have been held out on.

GLENN: I know, but I guess I'm learning now what it's like.

SAPH: Go on, pay attention. I know it's hard when I'm here, but at least try.

GEOFFREY: Tired audience members, allow me to give you an intermission. If I give you an intermission, will you humor me and watch the rest of our show? The toilets are located conveniently in the bathrooms and concessions can be bought at the concession stand. (laughing from the audience)

GLENN: You wanna buy food?

SAPH: Sure! LAUREL is so good! And so are OTTO and GEOFFREY! You'd think it was the first performance and not the last, the energy they have!

GLENN: Come on, let's get food! You want M & Ms?

SAPH: Sure! And can we get kettle-corn too?

GLENN: My treat.

SAPH: Thanks! (they eat the food and throw away the bags)

GLENN: Let's go back in there to watch the show. (goes back into auditorium with SAPH and stares lovingly at her for the entire play.)

GEOFFREY: And that was our show ladies and gentlemen! Let's give it up for our four fairies... Moth! Cobweb! Peaseblossom! and Mustardseed! The Mechanicals, who are... Nick Bottom! Peter Quince! Francis Flute! Robert Staveling! Thomas Snout! and Snug! Our Athenians, who are... Theseus! (OTTO walks onstage and SAPH stands up, screaming loudly) Hippolyta! Egeus! and Philostrate! Next are our lovers, who are... Helena! Hermia! (LAUREL walks onstage and SAPH screams even louder) Demetrius! and Lysander! And now for... Titania! Oberon! and... Puck! (GEOFFREY walks onstage and SAPH stops screaming.) That's our cast for the night... Shall we go home now?

SAPH: Come on, let's wait for LAUREL and OTTO.


SAPH: Sure, but he might not be too pleased to see my face.

GLENN: He'll be fine. And if he doesn't want to see you around... we won't take him for ice cream after.

SAPH: All right... LAUREL! You were amazing! (LAUREL walks out towards SAPH and GLENN and SAPH pulls her into a hug.)

LAUREL: Wait... Why is GLENN here?

SAPH: Umm...

GLENN: I'll explain.

LAUREL: You better.

GLENN: SAPH took me to get some food at Apinya's and she decided to take me here as well. She wanted to see you and OTTO but didn't want to go alone. Also... she's kind of my girlfriend.

LAUREL: You mean she's not the Boy Monster anymore?

GLENN: Clearly not, as she's tolerating me... OTTO! (OTTO comes out towards the group as well and SAPH hugs him as well.)

SAPH: You were amazing, both of you!

OTTO: SAPH, did you bring GLENN here?

SAPH: It's okay, he's a friend of mine now.

GLENN: SAPH's my girlfriend.

OTTO: Ohhhhh.

SAPH: Oh, look. There's GEOFFREY. (GEOFFREY walks out as well, but hesitates before joining the group.)

GEOFFREY: Hi, guys. Did I do all right? Oh. Hi, Spence.

LAUREL: Her name isn't Spence. It's-

GEOFFREY: I know, it's just hard to get used to. Sorry, Sapphire.

GLENN: Ice cream's on me! I got my license about six months ago, so we can go in my car. It can fit all of us, I think.

SAPH: Where to, Driver? Ice Express?

GLENN: Coming right up, sweetheart!

SCENE ELEVEN: Ice Express, the local ice cream parlor. GLENN, SAPH, LAUREL, GEOFFREY, and OTTO are seated around a table on couches, waiting for their ice cream.

GLENN: SAPH, what kind did you order?

SAPH: Let me see if I can remember! It was... Coffee ice cream with mango and caramel chips. That sounds right! Oh, and hot fudge, of course!

GLENN: What about you, LAUREL?

LAUREL: I got a banana split with... almonds, strawberries, hot fudge, and whipped cream.


GEOFFREY: I think it was... Cookies and cream with brownie bits, Kit Kats, and hot fudge!


OTTO: I'm more of a rainbow sherbet person!

GLENN: Well, I got Neapolitan with hot fudge, caramel, and cookie dough.

TAMARA: Here's your ice cream, kids! Let me see... Coffee with mango, hot fudge, and caramel chips?

SAPH: That would be me!

TAMARA: Of course, sweetheart. Now... Cookies and cream with brownie bits-

GEOFFREY: That's mine!

TAMARA: Then there's... Rainbow sherbet?

OTTO: Thank you.

TAMARA: Now... Neapolitan with hot fudge, caramel sauce, and cookie dough?

GLENN: Thank you, miss.

TAMARA: You're very welcome. And, let's see... a banana split with almonds, strawberries, hot fudge, and whipped cream?

LAUREL: That's what I ordered, thank you.

TAMARA: You're all very welcome. It was a pleasure to serve you here at Ice Express.

SAPH: Wow, she's nice.


GLENN: So what are we waiting for? Let's eat!

OTTO: But before we start, let's have a toast to... the Normally Abnormal!

ALL: To the Normally Abnormal!