Nothing Feels Real

Is it weird to feel like a narrator,
In a world full of characters?
Part of the story,
But not actually within it.

I can't shake the feeling.
But it can't be that unique.

It's like people come with a tutorial,
But I but I wasn't installed with it.
I've spent all my life,
Trying to emulate normal.

Everything in my head is a bunch of rules:
How are you?
You say it back.
What are you studying?
You say it back.
Say something.
Speak!
People don't like awkwardness.
Nobody wants awkwardness.
Be normal.

But do people want a robot,
With pre-written messages?

Nothing feels real.
Nothing feels authentic.
I never say anything I want to,
Just told to.

People have backup plans.
Problem?
Solved.
I stand there with nothing.
"What would normal people do?"
I don't know.
Nothing.

People fall into pits so often.
They trust their emotions.
How can you do that?

It's like some people are books,
If you know the signs.
I've read this cliché love story before.
Expect it.
Change it.

Why do I feel like I sit
outside of people's perceptions?
Yet am wholly
submerged
with
in
it

Yet, it can't be real.
It must be just me.

But nothing feels real.