Raymond Redford has a Bad Day

By Shadowgate

Raymond Redford had just gotten out of the shower. He was ready for a short day of work and it was Friday. He soon made his way to the kitchen and ate his bacon and eggs.

When he got into his car he turned on his radio only to hear the DV announce that Bland Road had traffic backed up due to an 18 wheeler accident. He knew of an alternate route on Elm Street.

He turned on Elm Street and 10 minutes later a police officer pulled him over for speeding.

The police officer tapped on Raymond's window and got his ID and Insurance Information.

After printing Raymond's ticket Officer Blake Bulldog walked up and tapped on the window again.

Before Officer Bulldog could say a word a transgender ran up to the front of the car and yelled "no officer please don't arrest him he's my gay lover. No please don't arrest him he's my gay lover."

Officer Bulldog yelled "get off that car this is none of your business!"

The transgender ran away and Officer Bulldog asked Raymond "did you know that freak?"

Raymond answered "no he was just some lunatic in drag."

Raymond went on to moan and groan. He knew today was not going to be a good day.

When he arrived late at the office due to getting a speeding ticket a co-worker of his Sally Bone yelled at him. He just ignored her and got on with his work. He worked for five hours straight and was finished for the day. Right before he got into his car his wife called him on his cell phone.

"Hello" Raymond said and went on to say "hello Jane."

"Oh you need me to go to the store for you, alright I'll stop at the grocery store on the way home."

When Raymond stopped at the store he headed straight to the restroom. He sat on the toilet to take a shit. Soon after he sat down he heard kids come into the restroom.

Then before he knew it a bucket of water was dumped over the side of the stall on top of him.

He yelled "Goddamn it" and then yelled "fuck!"

After he was done using the restroom he went up front and demanded to see a manager. When the front end supervisor was called up by the courtesy booth.

"My name is Clark Hanson I'm the front end supervisor and how'd you get all wet?"

Raymond answered "I was in the bathroom taking a shit when some kids dumped water over the side of the stall."

Clark became angry and got on the intercom.

"Attention Hot Foods Shoppers we had a customer taking a shit inside the men's room and a bunch of kids played a prank by dumping water over the stall. He is all wet. Parents please watch your fucking kids. It's appalling that something like this would happen."

Adults and children alike start laughing and then Clark yells over the intercom "stop that Goddamn laughing. If I had pulled a prank like this my mom would have whopped my fucking ass."

Raymond yelled "Oh God-fucking-damn it and stormed out of the store."

When he got home he told his wife what happened and that he didn't do any shopping. He found that his in-laws were visiting.

Raymond said "let's just order pizza" and his nephew Dalton Hex jumped on the bed while listening to Motley Crue's Public Enemy Number 1."

The End