Ada was finding school a drag today. More than usual, in fact. She was forced to wear an awful, pink frock, with shell buttons and no pockets. Seriously, what use was that? How was she supposed to carry pocket change? Hold it hot and sticky in her hands?
It was Art class now, but Ada believed that that wasn't a lot of use. Why couldn't they be learning something useful, like sex education? Ada sighed.
A boy called Danny was getting the paints out of the cupboard. "Hey!" he said. "They're all pink!"
"Oh dear," twittered Miss Trill, the elderly art teacher. "What is there to paint that's all pink? Come on everyone, try to think."
The kids looked around making obviously silly suggestions, such as birds and clouds through the window. Really, were clouds pink?
But now Miss Trill was pacing round Ada. Why?
"Hm. Dyed pink hair… fine pink frock… rich rosy freckles – and now a deep blush. Class. We have our model."
Ada sat miserably in the centre of the room while the other kids attempted to paint her and talk loudly about the mistakes they were making:
"She keeps changing her expression… and now she's looking down…"
"I've done far too many freckles."
"Wait 'til they're dry, then chip some off."
During breaktime, Ada noticed one of the boys, Dominic, sitting forlornly on the wall. Poor Dominic had eczema rather badly. His face looked red and pockmarked. Ada walked over and sat on the wall beside him. "Hey. You OK?"
"N-No," he mumbled.
She gave him a peppermint. "What happened?"
He mumbled something.
"Speak up!" said Ada sharply.
"I look awful and no one wants to speak to me," he said, a bit louder.
She patted his arm. "Not true. I do. And it's just eczema. They shouldn't be mean about something like that…"
At that moment there came a call of "Heads Up!" and a football came flying through the air and hit Dominic in the face.
"What're you doing?" screeched Ada, jumping off the wall. "Watch where you're kicking that thing!"
They just laughed at her. Ada pushed her hair away from her face and glared at them before she checked on Dominic. "Are you OK?"
"Martin's gotta woompeechoo," said Dominic, pointing at one of the football players.
"A woompeechoo?" Ada rubbed her cheek and stared at him. "What's that? Ohhh. Is it like a baby animal? How cute! Wish I had one. I'd take good care of it."
"It was pink, but now it's brown or yellow."
"What? He can't be looking after it properly. I'll see about this."
Ada marched into the middle of the football players, disregarding their bellows of protest and yelling at her to clear off. She grabbed the ball from the tarmac near Martin's feet.
"Give it back!" he demanded.
"Or what?" she retorted. "You'll hit me?"
Martin cursed. He dare not hit a girl in plain sight. "What do you want?"
"Oh. Here you are then. My last one pee chew." He handed her a tiny chewy sweet. Great. Ada had made an idiot of herself for nothing.
That evening, back in her bedroom, Ada was feeling a bit lonely. She was an only child, and she had often wondered what it might be like to have a brother or sister to play with. Kids at school with siblings did seem to complain about them a lot, though. Still, Ada had company of a sort.
She had found a weird green doll, made of rubber and plastic, apparently chucked onto the leaf pile behind the shed. She had cleaned him up and brought him to her room. He was the size of a man, and anatomically correct. They hadn't had sex ed at school, but she'd taught herself how to use the doll for recreational purposes. Straddling him now, the long green phallus seemed to engorge and stick upright. What was he made of? The face felt like cold plastic, but she could squish and reshape it, like clay. She was able to make love to the doll and get multiple orgasms this way. She supposed it was just masturbation, or like using a vibrator, only one that looked like a piece of alien man-candy. She called her man-candy doll 'Jake.' She'd first thought of calling him cake, but that sounded a bit silly. In the half-light, the glassy, black eyes of the green doll looked weirdly alive and she could pretend they talked afterwards. A girl could dream.
Sex ed class began for Ada's year later that term. It involved lectures on stuff that was so obvious it felt kind of condescending. Of course Ada knew what a condom was for. You had to ask a guy to wrap his willy in one. Sheesh. It wasn't like doing it with a guy was as risk-free as doing it with Jake.
"Are you OK, Ada?" whispered Betty who was sitting beside her. "You're looking pale."
Ada smiled and nodded, but she was feeling queasy. Suddenly she felt nausea rising up in her and she clapped a hand to her mouth and ran to the bathroom. She threw up into the toilet, the vomit stinging her mouth. She peered at her reflection. Her face looked really pale in the mirror. Her freckles were really showing. What was happening to her?
At lunch though, she was really hungry and was getting craving for strange foods. "Don't they have any pickles and ice cream?" she asked Betty.
Betty wrinkled her nose. "Gross. Why'd you want to eat that?"
That evening, back in the privacy of her attic bedroom, Ada got Jake out of the eaves cupboard. "How've you been, Jake? Boring day in the eaves? Don't worry. I'll make up for it now. Glad I've got you to come back to. Woman on top!"
She straddled the green form again, then grinned and cupped his green face in her hands. "You're so kind. You laugh at all of my jokes. She began to mould his green face to form a smile, but suddenly she felt a weird jolt and some alien voice seemed to scream in her brain. She blinked. What did it mean? She was probably stressed out, that was it. She needed her pretend sex therapy. She made Jake love her and then lay down beside him. He couldn't talk to her, but she could pretend…
Ada's strange cravings were making her gain weight, she was sure of it. It was like her belly was swelling. She tried to cover it up by wearing thicker and thicker jumpers. It didn't quite conceal the bulge around her midriff that grew as the weeks went by. She had to be excused from gym. It was too embarrassing. Fortunately, Betty was good at forging her Mum's signature.
One day at school however, Ada was really not feeling well at all. She had been feeling aching and heaviness in her belly, but now it was like she was contracting really badly. Betty had to take her to the nurse who made her lie down. The sick bay usually smelled unpleasantly of disinfectant, but that wasn't what was bothering Ada now. The wave-like cramping in her built to a peak. The nurse ordered her to strip down. She screamed and cried and hissed like a housecat and then suddenly, and to her horror, something came out of her in a hot slippery rush…
It was the tiniest, greenest baby Ada had ever seen.
That's right. Ada had just given birth to a tiny, bright green baby.
The nurse let out a vehement exclamation and Betty let out a shriek. Ada was stunned, but fortunately, the nurse had a pair of scissors on hand to sever the scary looking cord and put Ada's baby in her arms. The baby twitched and began to wail in a tiny, bleating little voice.
"I – It's a girl… it's definitely a baby. Of course it is," said the nurse. "It's premature, but it's a baby."
"A-Are premature babies green?" squeaked Betty, her hand to her mouth.
The baby opened her eyes. They were big, brown eyes, so like Ada's own. At that moment, Ada forgot her shock and worries and felt only warmth and the desire to protect this little green thing welling up inside her. She cuddled it to her breast. "My baby," she breathed, "you're my little Bea."
She grinned at Betty. "Short for Beatrice. You can be the godmother."
"Ooh, thank you," said Betty.
"This poses a lot of questions," said the nurse drily. "I have never even heard of something like this happening. How could you have a green baby without even knowing you were pregnant until now? How is any of this even possible?"
Bea's tiny mouth was open in a little O shape. Her mouth was so small. Like a polo mint. Ada knew what to do, and thrust her nipple into her green daughter's hungry mouth.
"Bea… my Bea…" she cooed.
Ada was weak after giving birth, but the nurse insisted she go back to class that afternoon. Meanie.
Ada carried Bea in a small sling, staggering down the hallway until she joined the Math class. The teacher was late, but Ada and Bea drew weird looks and gasps of horror.
"What is that… thing?" demanded Martin.
Ada glared. "Don't make me hit you."
"It's like you've got some freaky alien doll… and it's moving!" squealed Aggie.
"Watch your mouth," said Ada, glaring at her.
Mr Beard, the teacher, was almost blind, so he actually didn't notice that Ada had a tiny green daughter with her. Until Ada caused a commotion by pulling out a breast to suckle Bea again.
"You are not guaranteed an A in this class. Not by a long way," he said. "You should not be playing with dolls."
"She's my baby!" snapped Ada. What was the matter with everyone? Why were they so rude, all of a sudden?
Back home with Betty, Ada waited for her mother with a sense of unease. "What'll I tell her? I don't even get what happened myself."
Bea started bleating again in her tiny voice, so Ada took out her nipple again and rocked and cooed to her tiny daughter.
"Well you must have done it with someone," said Betty.
"Well, there is one…" said Ada.
In the attic room again, Ada cradled Bea in the crook of her arm, while directing Betty in retrieving Jake the green doll from the cupboard.
"What is this?" said Betty, wrinkling her nose as she pulled the doll onto the floor.
"Please… not it. He," said Ada. "I found him behind the shed one day."
"What exactly happened," said Betty, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, one dark night, I saw these weird flashing lights through my window. It was brill. They were all the colours of the rainbow. And then there was a thump outside and I was worried, so I went outside with a torch and found this guy, behind the shed."
Betty touched Jake's forehead, then yelped and withdrew her hand. "I felt something…" her voice sounded odd. "I thought that he thought something."
Ada felt a prickle of unease. "Yeah, I've got that feeling before." She reached out a hand and touched the smooth, green forehead. Suddenly, more clearly than before, she felt these weird thought intrude into her mind, but now she could make sense of them: HELP! CAN'T MOVE! HELP!
"Help! Can't move! Help!" Ada suddenly realised she was screaming these words aloud herself and withdrew her hand.
"Ada… this guy's alive," said Betty. Her voice trembled. "He's not a doll. He's got thoughts and feelings. Can he move? No. Is he an alien? Probably. Is he Bea's father. It looks like it, doesn't it?"
"Oh!" Ada felt a chill of horror to her stomach and clapped a hand to her mouth. "Have I – Have I raped an alien man!"