Little Green Men and Little Green Girls

Ada felt sick. Her doll had been alive all this time?! If only she'd known, she certainly wouldn't have put him in a cupboard… and she would most especially have never mounted his immobile form. There was so much wrong about that. Was the alien aware, or was he in a coma? Ada really hoped he was comatose.

Bea began to cry in her tiny, bleating voice and Ada put her nipple in her little green daughter's tiny mouth.

"I – I've got to tell Mum, then," said Ada. "Maybe she'll know what to do. And the poor alien needs medical attention and Mum's a nurse."

"Yes. I think that's best," said Betty.

Holding Bea in the crook of one arm, Ada touched Jake's cold, green face. "So sorry, Mister Alien. I'd no idea. Um… I'm holding our daughter. Dunno if you can see or hear. I'm guessing it's not what you wanted. Uh… I won't stick you for child support."

"Child support?" Betty arched her eyebrows. "From a comatose alien? How does that work?"

"I just want to comfort him," hissed Ada. "And he might actually be able to hear, so be sensitive." She blushed as she realised what it meant if the alien could hear. That would mean he heard everything she said when they lay together and when she straddled him. 'Woman on top' was the least embarrassing thing.


Ada and Bella tried to revive Jake the alien, first by dabbing his forehead with cold water, then by trying to tempt him to try food and drink.

"Who really knows what an alien eats," said Betty, as she held a piece of bread with jam in front of the alien.

Ada was sitting, cradling Bea in her arms while her tiny green daughter suckled at her breast. "Bea likes my milk just fine. Lucky little Bea." Ada cooed. "Your concentrating on feeding, aren't you? You're not worrying at all."

Bea's tiny green cheeks were bulging as she suckled and guzzled at Ada's nipple.

"Bea is half-human," said Betty. "And your baby. I doubt her Dad would appreciate your milk."

At that moment, they heard the door being opened. Mum was back. The moment of breaking the bizarre news to her was at hand.

They went up to Mum, Ada cradling Bea in her arms.

Mum smiled when she saw them, but then she saw baby Ada and gave a start, then peered closely at her, her eyes wide. "W-What… how?"

"This is my baby, Mum," said Ada. "My little Bea. Er… she's your granddaughter too."

"I-Is this a joke?" said Mum weakly. She looked pale and her voice trembled huskily.

"It's no joke, Maya," said Betty. Maya was Mum's name. "Ada gave birth to her today. There's something else we must tell you."

Mum seemed to be hardly listening. She peered closely at the green baby, her eyes wide. She touched her finger to Bea's green cheek and gave a little squeal of surprise.

"Isn't she a darling," said Ada, staring down at her baby daughter with maternal pride.

Mum stared at Ada, her eyes wide. "How … How… How could you have been pregnant and I didn't know? Y-You didn't even look pregnant."

"You'd better come upstairs," said Betty.

Upstairs, Mum stared at the prone form of the green alien on the bed. "What is this?"

"I thought he was a doll when I found him, cos he can't move or do anything," said Ada hurriedly. "I – I thought he was an anatomically correct doll, so I … erm…" she felt her face grow hot. She was blushing, she just knew it. "But I think he's alive. Of course he must be, if I got on him and … uh … got Bea." Ada swallowed. There was a lump in her throat. "I – I feel really bad, cos if he's alive, then I raped him, even though I had no idea."

Mum gave a gasp. Betty looked from Ada to Mum, her expression hard to read.

"The poor alien needs help. He needs a doctor, but what sort would be good enough to help an alien?"

"Is Ada in trouble?" said Betty urgently. "Would it really count as rape? The circumstances are weird. She is a girl, and the man is an alien."

Mum drew a slow breath. "No one can know about this."

"Mum… if I'm in trouble… I have to take it," said Ada. "The alien's life could be at stake now."

"If the doctors knew about the alien, they'd send him to the government to be dissected," said Mum sharply. "And he wouldn't live through that."

"Oh… I should've thought of that," said Ada. She felt sick at the thought. "I did know about those myths that the government had caught aliens and experimented on them. Well now I suppose they're true. But what can we do for him? He's Bea's father. I owe him help. And I – I feel really bad."

What could ease Ada's sense of dreadful guilt?

"Don't bring trouble onto yourself," said Mum sharply. "Betty dear… I'll need some help getting this chap into the cellar. He does need help, and I'm a nurse. I can try."

"I want to help," began Ada. But then Bea started screaming in her tiny, weirdly echoing voice, and Ada sat down, rocking and cuddling her until she quietened down.

Later, when Betty had gone, Ada came to see Jake lying on the table in the cellar, a blanket over him.

"Is he OK?" asked Ada miserably.

"I don't know," said Mum tersely. "You have other things to worry about, young lady. You're going to have to drop out of school. Being a mother is a life time responsibility."

Ada sighed. "Thought as much."


That night was tough. Bea was being really needy, constantly crying and having to be rocked and breastfed. Her cries were strange and echoey. They had a tone that could not be taken lightly!

Ada was still awake at 5 AM, not having had a wink of sleep. She was so, so tired, but Bea wasn't. She was awake and bawling.

"Please stop crying, little Bea," Ada urged. Bea continued to give her weird, strangely resonant cry.

"If you don't stop crying I'll sing," said Ada. Her singing was dreadful, but that threat didn't work. Bea kept crying, even though Ada rocked her.

Ada gave a little groan. "I wanted to make a plan to help your dad. Oh, for Goodness' sake. Even if I don't know what to do, I can still talk to him. If he can hear, he might be comforted."

Carrying her tiny, bleating daughter in the sling, Ada went down to the cellar and switched on the electric strip lighting, which lit everything up, gleaming on the shiny green face of the alien man. When Ada had found him, his face had looked squashed and weird, but she had reshaped it into a human shape. The face was squishier than the rest of the body, with a texture sort of like a mix of rubber and putty.

"Sir," said Ada softly, "I don't know your name. Please believe me that I had no idea you were alive when I did the deed with you… ugh! That just sounded so wrong. I thought you were a doll, OK. I was a very stupid, as well as a sad and lonely girl. But look." Ada held Bea up to the motionless alien. Bea stopped crying and gave a little sound between hiccoughing and giggling. "Your daughter. If you can see or hear, I expect you want to know her. Please don't blame her for how she was conceived. She's so adorable. Can you see? She's got my eyes, but she's also got your shiny green skin."

Ada paused, trying to think what else to say. "I wish I could help you. I don't want to keep you here. It's too much like keeping you in a cupboard. But doctors can't really be trusted, and the government certainly can't. Aliens are real, so the rumours they dissect them must be true as well. That's just sick. I wish I knew what to do."

Ada touched the cold, smooth forehead of the alien. At once, she got a flash of weird thought in her mind.

Find the fragments from my ship!

Ada blinked. That was another clear thought from the alien being.

"I should find your ship? Or pieces of it? Where? Ummm…" Ada put her hand to his forehead, but sensed nothing. She realised that the alien must find it a struggle to communicate telepathically.

"Listen," said Ada. "The other reason I came down was to introduce you to our daughter. I picked the name. Bea. Sorry, but you couldn't really share ideas about names. Bea, here's your daddy."

Ada held Bea close to the alien's green head. Bea made a weird, giggling sound that, small as it was, seemed to echo. She touched the green forehead with a teeny little hand, that sort of looked like a miniscule, green crab.

At that moment, there was a jolt. Ada could feel it. The alien stirred! Ada was sure of it. Her heart thudded, pitter patter in her breast. Then a mind thought bellowed in her skull:

The eye of the ship fell nearby, in fragments. Find it. It guides to the ship.

"I – I've got to find the piece of your ship that finds the rest of it? Uh… OK. You want to get home. Of course you do. I understand if you don't want to stay with us. Just please say that you don't regret Bea… um…" Ada blushed. She wasn't sure how to put it. "I'd really appreciate it if you could say something nice about Bea that I can tell her when she's older."

There was no thought in response. "OK," said Ada. "Perhaps you can't do that all the time. Well at least you're not giving me the full silent treatment. Is there anything I can get for you? Anything to eat or drink?"

No answer. Eventually Ada took Bea back upstairs and put her into her tiny crib. She managed to catch a wink of sleep, before Bea's crying woke her up yet again.


When Betty came round to see Ada the next evening, her friend already looked the worst for wear. Her pink hair was dishevelled and there were grey circles around her eyes. She was pale, so her freckles really stood out in her face. She was clasping that tiny, green baby to her breast. That baby looked so green and shiny… almost plastic. She was definitely alive though, and very hungry. Despite her small size, she always seemed to want feeding.

Ada gave her a wan smile. "Hey, Betty. Thank you so much for coming."

"Hey, Ada. Um… how are you and Bea."

"Bea's hungry. Aren't you darling." Ada cooed at her baby and smiled. "Um… Betty, there's something I need help with. The alien man… he spoke to me with his weird telepathy last night, wanting me to find parts of his ship which fell near here. I couldn't look today though. Little Bea needed my full attention. The whole time. I've had to learn how to clear up alien baby poop. She poops the weirdest little green pellets. And she cries so much… I've had like, just five minutes sleep." Ada sighed and looked dejected for a moment. Then she forced a smile. "How is everyone at school? I still can't believe I won't be going back."

"They're fine. Uh… in sex ed, they warned us about underage pregnancy…" Betty realised that was a bit tactless.

Ada gave a wry smile. "Well I didn't miss much then, did I? Listen, could you please be a pal and look to see if you can see anything that looks like a piece of an alien's ship? Mum's still cross at me for being so dumb."

"Alright," said Betty with a sigh. "I'll look. There is a man's life at stake, after all…"


Ada waited anxiously. Bea started crying again, so she rocked her daughter and cooed to her. Betty came back after about half an hour.

"There's something you should see. I did dig something up."

They went outside, Ada carrying Bea in her little sling. Betty led her into the alley between the gardens.

"There," said Betty. She kicked a metal ball that was still half buried in the soil. "I did poke a garden fork into the soil around the alley and found this."

"Weird!" said Ada. "Oh, Bea…" Bea had begun wailing in her weird echoing voice again. Ada rocked her and tried to coo and comfort her. "Can you sing, Betty? I can't."

But at that moment, there were flashing, coloured lights all around them and the shape of a huge saucer shaped craft in the sky.