Do you think your family are weird? Maybe you think that because they threw you a party you didn't want or made fun of you in front of your soulmate? That's not weird. Well, not weird compared to my family. My older brother, a college freshman, is a huge nerd. He's like a big kid. My eight-year-old sister is a brat who thinks every little thing gives her bragging rights. Our dad doesn't work and pretty much just lazes around all day. When he's asked to do something, he pulls any excuse possible. Our guinea pig is called Fish...don't ask why. And then there's my mom. She handcrafts everything in our house and everything is made from scratch. Our food may as well be fusions of just random things. It is surprisingly rare that we go out for dinner and eat food that is considerably normal. Anyway, this is not just my life story. It's my love story as well.
First day of high school can be stressful. Between my mom being my ride and the aftereffects of losing my knowledge of being normal human being to my strange family, I was just a ball of stress. I walked down the stairs and immediately was hit with the scent of my mother's cooking. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice smell. It just let's just know that there's something strange downstairs. I opened the dining room door to see my family sitting at the table.
"Ah hello Joseph. You're just in time for some fried eggs in beef baskets." my mom said as she served two of the strange things on my plate. I wasn't in the mood for it. I just wanted some toast before school.
"Sorry mom but I'm gonna make some toast before I head off to school." I said as I popped two pieces of my mom's homemade bread in the toaster. I was surprised that she didn't interfere. I buttered my toast and sat at the table. The table was quiet for a change. I thought I had somehow magically made my family normal but then we got into the car.
Car rides have always been a stressful situation. My mom was bound to do something embarrassing. She was normal for the most part until I got to school. Nobody's mother wants them yelling out the window on their first day and my mom did something worse.
She got out of the car first and got my bags ready for me when I came out. It was fine, she almost looked like my servant or something. She handed over my bags and I felt normal for once. I got to the top of the stairs and she yelled loud enough the whole school could hear her.
"BYE BABY JO-JO! HAVE A GOOD DAY AND DON'T GET STUFFED INTO ANY GYM LOCKERS!" she bellowed. I had opened the door at that exact moment, allowing for my mother's broadcast to reach more listeners. I felt the shame as I walked into the school. Every time I heard kids laughing, I felt like it was directed at me. I felt the arrows of shame striking me until I saw the only sane person I knew, Waldo. Waldo was my friend since I could remember. He was the first fan of my mom's cooking and was always willing do help out. He was super rich too.
"Hey Joe! How was your summer?" He asked. I walked over to him with a huge smile on my face.
"Mine was good, how about-" I was about to ask how his summer went when I was interrupted by someone calling out "Excuse me!"
I expected someone to barge past me and knock me over but when I jolted around, I saw a cute girl with brown hair. I didn't recognize her but I immediately felt my heart rush.
"I'm looking for the bathrooms. Do you know how to get to them?" she asked. I nodded, unable to speak. I led her to the bathrooms and stopped once we got in front of them. She looked up at me and smiled.
"I'm Mikayla by the way, and I actually knew where the bathrooms were. I just wanted a private place to ask you out!" she replied. I thought I was dreaming or that I hit my head and actually got a concussion. The girl smiled again and asked the big question I was waiting to hear.
"Wanna go on a date?"
I had completely lost my words. I nodded again and lost my footing. I grabbed onto the door handle and fell into the girls bathroom. I lay helpless on the floor as girls laughed and took pictures while Mikayla helped me up. She smiled before walking into the bathroom.
I got home that evening and prepared to make my big announcement. I stood in front of my family and took a deep breath.
"I have a girlfriend!" I announced. There was a silence before my little sister started to giggle.
"April fools day was a long time ago and there's no such thing as September fools." she chuckled. I felt like cutting her head off but I resisted the urge. I looked my mom in the eyes for help. She stood up and took me by the shoulders.
She stared right into my eyes. She knew that my lack of anxiety would be a clear sign that I wasn't lying. She stared deep into my eyes for roughly a minute before turning to my sister with a shocked face.
"Guys, he isn't lying...what do I do with it?" my mother announced to the family. My father gave my mother a groan as he sat up for once.
"Does this mean I have to give him the talk?" dad sighed as he put his newspaper on the side table. I explained that I already knew about the talk and he lay back down to read.
My brother stood up and walked over to me. He looked me in the eyes and said "You exceeded my expectations young man!" before hugging me tight. I looked at my mom for help again.
"Come on, he rarely gives hugs just hug Zachary back." she commented. I did as she asked even though his hair felt greasy and he smelt like a wet, dirty sock.
I thought my love for Mikayla would make my family even just the slightest bit more normal but I soon found out that I made them worse.