A summer's day
On a warm September morn'
I took a drive
On the Coney Island shore
I got a great view of the sea
This is such a place to be
On a 'mazin' weekend—wouldn't you agree?

At Luna Park
Somewhere along Surf Avenue
I saw a girl
She looked so pretty and so blue
She sat there sitting on the side
Because she just missed her ride
To her home Uptown away from rising tide

So I came up beside her and said you don't have to roam
Just simply come with me and I can take you home

She said yes and packed her stuff out back and then she climbed aboard
Then we left with Pink Floyd playing on the dashboard

She was small
And she had flowers in her hair
Covered in a hat
And she said her name was Claire
She was a housekeeper by trade
And her breath smelled like lemonade
And I tell you she's the best one ever maid

And there we were
On a sunny afternoon
Sixty ninth
And Metropolitan Avenue
We were almost to her lawn
As the music carried on
I turned around to see her but she's gone?!

She disappeared without a trace
See the look upon my face
I didn't even hear a sound
Even with the music down

The back seat's empty, so is the trunk
The lemon smell turned into skunk
No fingerprints, no stray hairs
As if that girl was never there

Went to the front door and there was her mom
Throwing away a cherry bomb
So I asked her "Did Claire come in"
She said "No she hasn't you bobby pin

She isn't out back-she isn't in bed
She isn't anywhere at all-She's dead"
"But Coney Island and Luna Park
Riding the Cyclone after dark

Haven't you thought to look over there"
"I'm telling you for the last time she's nowhere"
"Then how did I wind up all the way here"
"Ol Claire has been known to be a puppeteer

But she's dead you hear me she did not go astray
She's deceased end of story bye-bye go away"
I went back to the car full of sought and of despair
Thinking of the girl that wasn't there

No one at home believes me
When I tell who you are

What do you think this is?
Some sort of Hitchcock film?

Have I gone insane?

I need you
What can I do
Without you

And then the Christmas season came
The gifts and games all looked the same
With cards and letters from our fans
And pointless stuff like trips to Cannes

Then something caught my eye
Beneath the pumpkin pie
A folded piece of paper lying there
"Happy Christmas everyone, love Claire"
The same Claire that escaped into thin air
The same Claire as the girl that wasn't there.

And now my friends believe and care
In me and love and hope and Claire
And made their mission then and there
To help me find the girl that wasn't there

So I made for the address on the card
It was a place that I knew so it wasn't hard
Twas the shopping mall on 34th and Broadway

It would be here where the answers would be said
If she was just a figment or was she dead
Had to be one or the other, omigosh

All the while, my thoughts were blinded by the rising sun
Aimless Wandering will have to wait till I'm done

There she was on the balcony
Looking down from level three
Open arms and open hands
Waiting for that moment

Then I saw that she was white
Transparent, looking like soft light
Intangible, pale and dead
Was this all a stunt?

The sun was rising higher
Twas shining right at me
The light was getting brighter
and I couldn't see
Then I realized that
It was all a dream
Something that anyone could have
And she's still there
In the backseat of the cab
It was nearly half past ten
We were almost there and then
I decided not to think of it again

And there we were
On a sunny afternoon
Sixty ninth
And Metropolitan Avenue
We looked each other in the eye
And bid a heart-i-ful goodbye
And I let it slide that we should meet again sometime

Will I keep true to my word?
Will I forget what I had heard?
But then again, I can't believe what had occurred
As it turns out she's got a boyfriend
But so what? I got a wife
This has got to be the strangest day of my life!