I saw my life flash before me.

All the people that I had known.

All the people I had loved.

I felt my hand tremble as I pushed the gun to my head

I was alone in my room, my family just behind that door

I began to press down on the trigger... when I saw the last image approaching my eyes...

A little girl... begging for me to live.

I felt my tummy and could feel her little foot kick against my skin.

I closed my eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks. I dropped the gun to the bed.

What mother could I be to her? What was I?

I saw the door slip open and there stood my own mum.

She asked, "What's wrong, Cassie?"

I whimpered and just fell in her arms, crying, "Make the pain go away, make it go away..."

I was alone... the father, my beloved... dying only days ago in a traffic collision.

"I wish I could," My mother just dribbled out, in such a deep sadness, "But... I can't."

I cried and sobbed against her and she only said.

"It won't always hurt this much... I swear, one day you will smile again..."

I let go of her and she looked at me, suddenly seeing the gun on the bed.

"Take it," I whispered, giving up.

She reached for it nervously, but took the gun in her hand and left the room.

I sat there on my bed, feeling my baby daughter move in my womb.

It hurt so much... the pain, it was crucifying.

The pain... it was agony.