I saw my life flash before me.
All the people that I had known.
All the people I had loved.
I felt my hand tremble as I pushed the gun to my head
I was alone in my room, my family just behind that door
I began to press down on the trigger... when I saw the last image approaching my eyes...
A little girl... begging for me to live.
I felt my tummy and could feel her little foot kick against my skin.
I closed my eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks. I dropped the gun to the bed.
What mother could I be to her? What was I?
I saw the door slip open and there stood my own mum.
She asked, "What's wrong, Cassie?"
I whimpered and just fell in her arms, crying, "Make the pain go away, make it go away..."
I was alone... the father, my beloved... dying only days ago in a traffic collision.
"I wish I could," My mother just dribbled out, in such a deep sadness, "But... I can't."
I cried and sobbed against her and she only said.
"It won't always hurt this much... I swear, one day you will smile again..."
I let go of her and she looked at me, suddenly seeing the gun on the bed.
"Take it," I whispered, giving up.
She reached for it nervously, but took the gun in her hand and left the room.
I sat there on my bed, feeling my baby daughter move in my womb.
It hurt so much... the pain, it was crucifying.
The pain... it was agony.