It's been two years, but since my writing style had changed for the better, I felt lazier to end Parallel Universe But Tackles Omniverse. You know why? Because I lost the outlines for that shit, the conclusion for the drama and the fucking wrestling arc. Poof. All gone. Nada. Up in flames. Shit like those.
So instead, I'll just do a software reset, everyone will forget the drama, including Chad Kaplan, the source of this fuckery.
No, I'm not talking about Martin Crewes's character in Resident Evil. His name will be Richard Kaplan here to differentiate, because Mama Ace Thompson-Kaplan refuses to have a Jr. in the end of their son's name.
"Do you think Chad will survive knowing I scream your name when we fuck?" The very words of the legendary Ace Thompson-Kaplan.
Please don't tell that to Chad Kaplan, or his very annoying little sister, Rita Kaplan, will have a field day laughing her ass off and making sure Chad suffers from a coma after hearing the reason why he never gets the Junior suffix on his name.
This has been Charlie Dick, the host on this new crack. If you remember the old crack here, good, because we're back. So for the silent readers, I demand you all to drop me any questions except the ones that hits the MA territory. We don't want Chad Kaplan to ragequit on us again.
Time for the first commercial break. Phew, a minute to relax.
Do you ever like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place?
That was what Danny Sins felt, because she was just a genderbent version of Charlie Dick.
Now she will be a new character, she will be axed.
And her full name will be Daniella Elke Pavlov. It should be just Elke Pavlov but since she was originally Danny Sins after the author realized Elke was her spirit animal here we are.
Change your name online, and you will be a different person guaranteed. For inquiries, call 746753-7526.
Alright, so everyone's here. Rita Kaplan strutted with a large grin on her face. She glanced at me and winked, waggling her eyebrows. Ah shit, here we go again. We're going to argue and bitch like little shits.
Chad Kaplan looked as confused as ever, he was probably wondering how did he end up here again. As far as he knew, he was just answering random questions from my in real life friends, so...
Oh, Chad wasn't walking alone. He was trudging with his father, Richard Kaplan. Good ol' Kaplan has a genuine smile on his face. Ah, I always love Papa Kaplan's smile. It can cure cancer if it could, to be honest. I mean, who wouldn't fall for him? He's so charming, a nice guy, and a great musical actor as well! So I recommend you people reading this to check his works out.
Whoops, I shouldn't be plugging Martin Crewes himself here, anyway...
Last, but not the least, Mama Kaplan! Ace Thompson jumped towards the room, the flaps of her red trench coat fluttered from the breeze as she rolled to the ground, her ponytail merely moving behind her, her chestnut brown strands of mane spread like wildfire behind her head. The woman finally stood up, chest swelled and back arched, standing high and proud. She moved her hand to perform a mock salute, her face now stern. "Agent Ace Thompson, reporting for duty!"
Richard clapped his hands, proud to see his beloved wife was still a total dork of an idiot. No, he actually didn't said that, that's on me. Anyway, he really loves how quirky and eccentric his wife was, and that's why they popped two idiots, Chad and Rita.
Do you really think I'll give a paragraph that merely contains how they look like, like I'm a 17 years old nibba with a black goatee, a sideburn, shit brown eyes, obese and wearing a black Metallica shirt, black pants, and brown shoes? Nah, I don't do that, bitch. But remind me to actually make a bio in my profile. They're very long overdue and I'm just a lazy bastard.
"Hey, aren't you forgetting someone here?"
It was a voice that was definitely not squeaky and cute. She had a weird deep tone on her, despite her timidness.
Oh yeah, I completely forgot about Danny.
"Geez, you know even if I got culled and I'm now Elke Pavlov instead of Danny Sins, that doesn't mean I can't be my usual snarky self, because I am also snarky, you know?"
But your bashfulness has cranked to the maximum.
"So, snarky narrator," Rita shot me a cocky grin, "What's for business?"
The business is that Operation DMCY will continue, but some plans will change. What those are? Read and find out.
"Boo!" Rita gave me a thumbs down, pretending she was disappointed.
Next, as I keep mentioning, give us questions. This crack is solely for crack, so please please please we need questions so they can pay me.
Chad planted his palm against his face. "I hope there will be no sexual questions that will kill me."
And finally, whatever scenarios I can think of. As the name suggest, this will be a just a story filled with nonsense featuring us, the cast.
"Yes!" Ace jumped from her seat. Her smiling face quickly morphed into sadness as she fell to her knees, looking dramatically towards the ceiling. "I'm the first original character yet it has been 3000 years where me and Richard were promised to have a story dedicated for us!"
Elke also fell down to her knees as she sobbed. "I'm sorry, I'm a pathetic writer!"
Hey, that's my job! I'm the author here, you dumbledore!
Richard also joined in on adding more salt to the ground. "Will Martin Crewes be proud of me forever, or will he forget that he brought life into me?"
Nooooo, not Richard! My heart broke down and I also joined them on the ritual of weeping on the ground. God, why am I so pathetic? I always jump from one project to another and I abandon the oldest ones forever! Why am I like this?!
Rita scooted closer to Chad and gave his side a gentle nudge. "We should probably ask people to give us questions."
Chad gave him a nod, relieved that Rita said something completely sane for once. "Yes, let us do that, Rita."