A/N- I'm trying a Horror Comedy approach with this one.

1- Satisfied Customer


Bertha picked up a drill. Her patient lay on the slab, knocked out. "Don't worry," she drawled in a thick German accent. "This will benefit you in the long run."

The drill whined as Bertha drove a screw into her patient's flesh. The remnants of what was once a vacuum cleaner lay on the table beside the slab. She ripped off a hose.

"And this will be perfect!" She installed it into the man's arm.

The man twitched. "Gregory!" She shouted. "Fetch the whiskey! This one's waking up."

"As you wish," a charming voice said. A tall, handsome man with dark brown hair walked into the operating room. He handed her a bottle of whiskey. She jammed a funnel into the man's mouth and poured the alcohol in.

Bertha picked the drill up and continued her work.


Carl awoke in what Dr. Stein called "the recovery room" (just what used to be used for quarantine). He felt the implanted parts in his arm. A hose from a vacuum cleaner.

Dr. Stein shuffled in. "How is it?" She asked, trying her best to sound sweet.

"Not what I expected," Carl groaned. "How much do I owe you?"

"Now's not the time to discuss prices," she said. "You've been through a lot." She slipped the empty whiskey bottle into the trash before exiting the room.

"Now, he'll be in there for a while," she told Gregory. "Make sure he's comfortable. Oh, and if someone has answered my ad in the paper, please let me know." Bertha shuffled away.