I would have followed you, you know

To be surrounded by your warmth and ambition

And to feel like I could be part of that dream, too

I thought that was my future

To share in that glory

But I don't think there was ever room for two

Not us two, anyway.

If I think back on it now

I can scarcely remember what it was

And it makes me wonder if I ever knew

Or if it was youth reassuring me

Things would work out

As long as we were together.

But you, unlike me, were the realist

I was lost to stories and fantasy

I admired you and the senses I lacked

To the point of twisted reverence

And I think it was that which drove us apart.

It has been so long since I have heard your voice

I wonder if you miss me

I also wonder if I miss you

Or if I miss the security I felt

When you were around.

I pushed myself to stand alongside you

And I liked parts of the person I tried to be

But while I was trying, and you were succeeding,

We missed each other

And we found others

And I forgot why I was there in the first place.

I had to ask myself what I was looking for

Once I realized the others would not take me with them.

Would you have taken me?

Years later I am still wondering,

Because I have never been brave enough to ask.

I think we all have the potential for greatness

But I never imagined myself at the end of that path

It is easy to pretend for the sake of others

But not so easy to continue lying to myself

And I have reached a point where

Lies are no longer sufficient answers to prodding questions.

I think of you,

And I think of those that came after you

And I wonder if you all saw in me some spark

Or if I was just a faithful shadow

But what hurts to acknowledge is I wish I could go back

Because living in your shadow I felt worthy

Here on my own, I wonder if I can ever be enough.