"I went on a trip this weekend too"
No pause, a continued conversation
One girl looks, one sympathetic glance.
Chatter about nails, about boys, about fashion
Talk goes over her head.
She doesn't know those boys, those brands,
And she puts her hands behind her back
To hide the dirt and bitten nails.
Her eyes dart from pretty face to pretty face
She may be on the same team, but she is not their friend.
Immediately labeled as stranger, outcast, unaccepted
For what, she doesn't know.
She is not hated, feared, or even particularly disliked.
She is just another wallflower
Another ear to whisper gossip into
And then be forgotten.
She always stands on the edge of the circle
Trying to push her way in
But nobody moves.
They'll say hi
And feel like they've done their duty
Their job of being a "good person."
Befriending the outcast
Yet secretly mocking her,
Inviting her to parties
Where she's unwittingly the joke.
She studies the magazines,
Befriends random boys on Instagram,
Does her best to follow the gossip.
By the time she's learned it all
They've moved on.
Finally she makes a friend
Then finds out the girl
Was using her to get to her brother.
No longer a wallflower
But sitting in the gutters.
Bottom rung of the social ladder
Lowest spot in the social hierarchy
The pecking order and chaos
That is high school.
One day she'll graduate
She'll leave and move on
Go to college, get a job, get married
Putting it out of her mind
But never truly forgetting.
On the dark, lonely nights
It'll all come back to her
And she'll be that scared,
Unaccepted, lonely outcast
And a freshman again.