A banshee, selkie, and leprechaun walk into a bar. Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, right? But this one isn't. All three of these are legends. Legends of the old world, Scotland, Irish and Scandanavian. Probably why no one thinks they are real anymore. These beings like to get together on occasion to chat, see what the others are up to. To remind not only themselves but the locals that they are indeed real. In fact, it's every seven years they get together because once a selkie returns to the sea they cannot become human again for seven years. I know this because it's my bar they frequent.

Scandanavian, Scottish and Irish in origin, selkies come from the sea. They like to take human form by shedding their seal skin. As humans, they liked to dance on the shoreline in the moonlight or sunbathe on the beach or rocks. Sometimes men would steal the female selkies skins forcing them to be their wives, as selkies are exceptionally beautiful. The men would hide the pelts away to keep the woman prisoner. If the woman found her pelt, she would return to the sea usually bringing any children that were born. As it wasn't customary for a man to have children on his own. The selkie men are often a little more vicious and would steal women they found beautiful away if they could not find one of their own to claim. I have never met a male selkie so I cannot corroborate if this is true or not. The females don't talk about it either. My father was one such man. He stole my mother's pelt and kept her from returning to the sea. However, when she found it again. Me and my 2 brothers had been born. She didn't want to leave us so young and had genuinely fallen in love with my father, so she stayed until we were old enough to fend for ourselves. Only then did she return to the sea and me with her. I wanted to know what it was like below the waves. My brothers remained with my father, to help him. After our requisite seven years, we both returned to land. My mother to say goodbye for good and I to return to society. I ended up with the bar because soon after my mother left that second time, my father died and both brothers were off galivanting in Asia. I believe it's one reason they meet here. Because I understand.

Irish banshees appear as a young beautiful woman, a stately matron or as an ugly frightening hag. She is usually dressed in a grey or white hooded cloak, her eyes red from crying. While not always seen, her mourning cries can be heard at night when someone is about to die. They are often called a death omen. They are fairy women or spirits linked to the realm of the dead. The ones I know have always appeared as young beautiful women wearing the hooded cloak with red eyes. Although she is never crying when I see her. In fact, she seems quite merry at the pub when she meets the other legends for drinks. No matter how happy she seems, she never loses the redness in her eyes. She is most definitely not a spirit. On occasion, I have bumped into her when the pub gets a bit crowded and she is as solid as you or I.

And lastly, but not least is the leprechaun. Leprechaun are popularly depicted as little men with beards dressed in green coats and tall green hats, notoriously grouchy, solitary and untrusting in nature which is not always the case. Yes, they are always men and always wear green but not how you would imagine. They are not always little either. Often, they have jobs in construction or banking, good at both by nature. They also have a talent for making shoes and causing mischief.

I have a thing with one of the leprechauns who frequents the bar. Liam is tall with wild ginger hair and fiery blue eyes. He is an investment banker with a hobby in cobbling. On our first date, he made me a pair of shoes, which I thought odd, but I'll be damned if they aren't the best pair of shoes I've ever owned. He aims to make me his. I don't think he knows it yet, but I will gladly accept the role. I mean I have to, it's only the proper thing to do. Our children will be exceptionally attractive no matter if they are selkie or a leprechaun. Whatever they turn out to be, I can't wait to tell Liam and see the surprise on his face.

But back to the point of this little tale. Just because a banshee, a selkie, and a leprechaun walk into a bar and grab a table for some drinks, doesn't mean it's the start of a bad joke. That's just another evening in this old bar of mine and that's just the way I like it.