I've always said you can't sock someone if they're on drugs. Let me tell you, I was wrong. I was high as shit last night, and someone fucking broke into my apartment and socked me. Someone decided to break into my apartment to hit me with a sock. You may think I hallucinated it, but no! I have a fucking bruise on me face where I was socked. So not only did they break into my apartment, they had filled the sock with god knows what.

You may be wondering why I'm telling you this? Because I crave revenge. I will find whoever socked me, and they will regret it.

So, how will I find this mysterious socker? You'll see in a bit, my friend!

So I've been trying to hack the security cameras for a while, but I just remembered that I can't do that. My friend dickhead (named after his uncle) hacks shit for me, but I have absolutely no clue where my phone is, so I can't call him. (Sad times.) Guess I gotta find a YouTube tutorial then. Be back in a bit!

So I found a tutorial and now I just have to find the socker's car. Wait up… there it is. It's a hot pink Fiat Multipla with neon green tires and piss yellow hearts on it. That's gonna be hard to find, but I have to try, I guess. I'll update you guys in a bit.

So I found the car, its parked outside the candy store. I'll just have to hang out here and see who comes out to it. Oh, yep, there he is. He looks a bit generic, with his bright green Mohawk and yellow ballgown, but I'm fairly certain he's the one that socked me. I'm walking up to him, sock in hand, preparing to confront him, when he looks at me. In front of my own two eyes he transforms into a giant sock monster with several pairs of arms. Just my luck, he has super sock powers.