(The episode begins with Quinn in a red evening dress, her hair down but her glasses still on as someone is playing the piano in the background as she starts singing)


"NOBODY DOES IT BETTER", from "The Spy Who Loved Me"

Originally written by Marvin Hamlisch and Carol Bayer Sager and performed by Carly Simon

Quinn: (singing)

Nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby, you're the best

I wasn't lookin' but somehow you found me
It tried to hide from your love light
But like heaven above me
The spy who loved me
Is keepin' all my secrets safe tonight

And nobody does it better
Though sometimes I wish someone could
Nobody does it quite the way you do
Why'd you have to be so good?

The way that you hold me
Whenever you hold me
There's some kind of magic inside you
That keeps me from runnin'
But just keep it comin'
How'd you learn to do the things you do?

Oh, and nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby, baby, darlin', you're the best

(The light turns on and we see it's Betty playing the piano while Erica is sitting in her seat and Tomoko I where she usually sits)

Erica: That…was…

Tomoko: I didn't know you had it inside you.

Quinn: Well…really…

Hydie: (in box, antsy) Quinn…you promised!

Quinn: (sighs) Well…this is the last you're going to see of me. For the next couple episodes, at least.

Tomoko: Wait, what!?

Taeko: (in box, upset) After a performance like that!?

Quinn: (blushing) Well…to tell the truth…I sort of promised Hydie this episode and the next. But I forced her to let me do this one song first since I know she's going to mangle the other four.

Hydie: (in box, in similar dress to Quinn) I would not!

Quinn: (to herself) Look, unlike those other four songs, I respect Carly Simon; and Marvin Hamlisch isn't that bad a songwriter. As a bit of a note: Hamlisch was the first composer of a Bond movie that wasn't series definer John Barry and wrote "Nobody Does It Better" with the help of songwriter Carol Bayer Sager; further, the reason Carly Simon was brought in was due to Sager remarking that the lyrics about Bond make him sound vain, similar of course to the lead character from Simon's own song "You're So Vain", a hit from 1972/1973.

Hydie: (in box, giggling) Of course he'd think this song is about him…and it is.

Quinn: (to herself) By the way: if you want to ruin all those other songs, be my guest; but I thank you for letting me have this one.

Hydie: (in box) Sure I can't sing it later?

Quinn: (to herself) If you want to ruin a Bond theme, find some other Bond theme to ruin. I'm sure no one cares about "The Man With the Golden Gun" so go with that.

Hydie: (in box, pouting) I'm still singing it.

Tomoko: OK…but what the heck does this have to do with…

(Anna sneaks up in maid-dragon form and boob-hats Tomoko)

Tomoko: (frustrated) Some dragon movie?

Quinn: I'm sure Betty can explain it…after the opening since…unfortunately…

Hydie: (in box, adoringly) I get to sing!

Quinn: (sighs) Yeah…that…

Erica: Good luck with that. So then without further ado…

Kiera: (in box, pouting) Why didn't you let me sing it!?

Erica: (to herself) Um…why?

Kiera: (in box, pouting) It's the sexiest Bond song in existence!

Erica: (to herself) Even more than "Goldfinger?"

Tomoko: We'll be right back.

Kiera: (in box, pouting) When we get to that Disney movie, we're doing "Skyfall".

Erica: (to herself, shocked) AND WHAT DOES "SKYFALL" HAVE TO DO WITH DISNEY!?

(The opening:

To the count of Merlin's "1-and a 2-and a 3-and a 4" with Quinn, Hydie, Tomoko and Taeko appearing in that order, the "jazz version of "Higitus Pigitus"" begins to play with quick shots of each one before we see a simplistic shot of a black screen with colored lines animating, similar to the "trip to Bahia" from The Three Caballeros. The camera shows the "outline drawing" of Quinn in yellow, showing herself upset and with brief glimpses showing her as a clown from Dumbo, "Tim Burton's Katrina" from The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad and Arthuria Pendragon from The Sword in the Stone as a caption appears.


The line turns suddenly teal as it becomes in the form of Hydie, with brief glimpses of her in the "Mickey" outfit from Fun and Fancy Free, "princess Cinderella" from Cinderella and Shanti from The Jungle Book.


The line turns brown as it becomes the form of Tomoko and then shows brief glimpses of her as the Evil Queen from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, Tinker Bell from Peter Pan and Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty.


The line turns mauve as it becomes the form of Taeko, with glimpses of her as Slue-Foot Sue from Melody Time, Alice from Alice in Wonderland and Madam Mim from The Sword in the Stone.


The line turns silver as it becomes Erica, with glimpses of her as Drizella Tremaine from Cinderella and Bert from Mary Poppins.


The line turns forest green as it becomes Kiera, with glimpses of her as Lola from Saludos Amigos and "Merlin" from The Sword in the Stone.


The line turns blonde becoming Britt first as a human, then as a bear, with glimpses of her as Aurora from Sleeping Beauty as human and Bongo in Fun and Fancy Free.


The line turns red becoming Heather, first as a human, then as a dog with glimpses of her human form's hunting outfit from Bambi and chowing down on Kanine Krunchies from One Hundred and One Dalmatians in dog form.


The line turns pink becoming Anna, first as human, then in "dragon-maid form" as we see glimpses of her in the kitchen outfit from Lady and the Tramp and as the Jabberwock from Alice in Wonderland.


We finally see it becoming orange as it becomes a silhouette of Betty as it shows her as Captain Hook from Peter Pan, in the "dalmatian girl" outfit from One Hundred and One Dalmatians and finally her regular Bad Sneakers café outfit.


As the various yarns with others representing other recurring characters like Carol Ann, Imani and Leela spin in and it all becomes chaos at the jazzy finale, the scene pans out to a safe with a door closing and a giant wheel with a giant "D" on it as the caption appears)



Act 23.5 (Detour #7): Pete's Dragon

(We hear what appears to be the opening piano of "Nobody Does It Better", but now we see Hydie attempting to wear a similar sexy dress but looking more ridiculous on her due to her cute appearance. She tries to sing but it's too high a pitch compared to Quinn)

Hydie: ("singing")

Nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby, you're the best

I wasn't lookin' but somehow you found me
It tried to hide from your love light

(The lights turn back on and Betty stands besides Hydie as she keeps trying to "sing")

Hydie: ("singing")

But like heaven above me
The spy who loved me
Is keepin' all my secrets safe tonight

(Betty places her hand on Hydie's shoulder and shakes her head)

Hydie: I thought…I was doing a good job.

Quinn: (in box) See, this is why I didn't want you to sing it.

Betty: (to Hydie) Just get dressed for the next song.

Hydie: (cutely) Yay!

Quinn: (in box, shaking head) Didn't I tell you? Though I fear which song you're going to do next.

(As Hydie leaves, Tomoko is still boobhatted by Anna as Erica speaks)

Erica: OK…it's time to explain, Betty.

Betty: OK, if you insist. I figured that since 1977 was the last time Disney was nominated for…well, any musical Oscars prior to the Renaissance, let alone two movies being nominated for songs this time, we'd try to rewage the 1977 Best Original Song Oscar competition. And to tell the truth, with all that happened last time…

Tomoko: Leela better not be allowed back in here ever again after that.

Betty: She's only banned for the next four movies.

Leela: (appears SD in a box cutely) The first three I had zero interest in; I did have plans for The Black Cauldron but…at least I'm back for The Great Mouse Detective and I'm OK with that. (giggles)

Betty: It isn't like she harmed anyone, and Imani did speak on her behalf.

Tomoko: You really shouldn't keep using that quack as a means to defend her.

Taeko: (in box) At least it's over.

Betty: But I figured since this movie and The Rescuers both had Oscar nominated songs, I'd just have five of us sing all of them…but then Hydie contact me and said she wanted to do all of them.

Erica: That first song wasn't by Hydie, though.

Betty: I was actually anticipating Hydie doing this one too, but Quinn showed up, told me "I'm not letting her mangle the best song", then to get something that made her appear adult and thus the opening. But then Hydie pulled…um…that.

Tomoko: Well you know Hydie.

Taeko: (in box) She works like a mystery to me.

Betty: I just don't get why Hydie wanted to sing them all. I mean sure, all five Best Song nominees were sung by females but…

Hydie: (off-screen, giggles) I have my reasons.

Quinn: (in box) 99 out of 100 chances it's because of The Slipper and the Rose.

Hydie: (to herself) You know me so well, Quinn-dear.

Quinn: (in box) Too well. My only hope is you ruin that and the Debbie Boone song and then people will realize who should have won…then again it was Frenchie that sang it in the movie and Debbie Boone covered it…

Betty: But I figured "If someone probably wants to sing the two songs from Pete's Dragon and The Rescuers, we may as well give a chance to all five 1977 nominees and then we can decide which one really stands the test of time." Sure, most of this is late-1970s soft rock/adult contemporary, but I'm certain someone is bound to like it.

Erica: Depends on the soft rock.

Betty: I'm just more surprised nothing from Saturday Night Fever made the list. Seriously, the definitive soundtrack of the decade and no nominations? Sure, a good chunk of it was a jukebox of earlier disco songs but a few songs were written specifically for the film, in particular the ones the Bee Gees did for the most part. Though it probably explains why "Last Dance" from that terrible film Thank God It's Friday won the next year; quite a few times when Oscar figures out they're behind the times…and that's quite often…they make up for it later with something else; and lucky for them Donna Summer sang a classic the very next year before the inevitable disco burnout of '79.

Erica: Betty, my good woman: the Bee Gees are too cool for the Oscars.

Betty: Too true.

Kiera: (in box, in disco girl outfit) And besides, I'd be killing it if it was nominated and I could sing in this.

Tomoko: (tries to push Anna aside but has a hard time) That's fine and dandy…but what does this have to do with this movie? I mean why are we talking about musical acts when this is supposed to be a movie about…well…

Anna: (cutely) Ein drache? (giggles)

Erica: Well the singer of one of my favorite songs is in this movie…she has nothing to do with the dragon though.

Kiera: (in box, giggles) You're a fan of Mickey Rooney?


Kiera: (in box) He's in this movie too.

Betty: Well, I suppose we should start talking about Pete's Dragon then. I seriously wanted to ask you all what your favorite disco numbers were but we do have a movie to get to. (starts leaving) That and caffeine-making calls. Coming, Anna?

Anna: (lifting her chest off Tomoko's head) Coming! (giggles)

Tomoko: I still don't get her.

Taeko: (in box, cutely) She's your imaginary dragon friend!

Tomoko: (to herself) But real.

Erica: Well…this is that file that Quinn had in case of an emergency but since she's not here…

Quinn: (in box) I'm still here but since no one can hear me other than the audience…

Hydie: (to herself) Hush, I need to prep for my next song.

Erica: Guess we have to play this.

(She hits a button on a remote and Quinn appears on a screen above them speaking)

"Narrating Quinn":

This is entry file 11031977. The seventh detour of the Disney Animated Continuity: Pete's Dragon.

Tomoko: (confused) Who is Pete and why does he have a dragon?

Taeko: (in box, hushing her) That's the point of the video.

The story of Pete's Dragon is peculiar: it sort of starts off similar to the story of some other Disney films, but then goes off in a different direction. The story begins with a short story called "Pete's Dragon and the U.S.A. (Forever After)", an unpublished short story written by Seton I. Miller, a longtime screenwriter who worked on films from the days of Howard Hawks' silent films in the 1920s through the Golden Age of Hollywood; his two most famous films being Warner Brothers' 1938 masterpiece The Adventures of Robin Hood and his Oscar-winning screenplay Here Comes Mr. Jordan for Columbia in 1941.

Hydie: (off-screen, cutely) I heard it ties to our next movie so that's good to know. (giggles)

(Tomoko and Erica shush her)

Quinn: (in box) Can you at least let the me out there speak first?

Hydie: (to herself) Sorry, I just can't wait for next time.

"Narrating Quinn":

Walt Disney liked the story and in December, 1957, he optioned it for a film. However it wasn't going to be a normal film but a two-part episode of his Disneyland anthology series, with Kevin Corcoran, the lead of the studio's Old Yeller as Pete. However, even with a script written up by screenwriter Noel Langley, Walt didn't know how they'd approach the story and it was placed on turnaround. They tried again to write a script in 1968, but it wasn't until the project was rediscovered in 1975 by producer Jerome Courtland (who had done quite a few things for Disney prior and, ironically, sang the theme song to Old Yeller) and a script by Malcolm Marmorstein. The story originally was going to take place in modern day, but Marmorstein moved it into making it a period piece to make the story click.

Tomoko: Because a movie about a modern day dragon would be silly.

"Narrating Quinn":

The most important change with this film was the role of the "dragon" and how it would be used in the story. In the original tale, the dragon was invisible and was only going to be seen in one scene where main villain Doctor Terminus sliced the dragon up for one of his schemes. However, veteran Disney animator Ken Anderson figured that having a movie where you claim there's a dragon but no dragon wouldn't work out and lobbied successfully to have said dragon be a character in the film. The dragon was made an Asian dragon to give more variety compared to typical dragon depictions in pop culture at the time; he was named Elliot after actor Elliot Gould, a friend of Marmorstein's in school; and was ultimately animated by rising animation star Don Bluth with some assistance from animator and future producer Don Hahn; with primitive "Yellowscreen" technology similar to that used in Mary Poppins to have Elliot on screen alongside the human actors.

The film itself has an all-star cast of note amidst the antics. The starring role of Pete is by 1970s child actor Sean Marshall, who alongside this also appeared in the Disney short The Small One, also primarily animated by Don Bluth. Comedian Charlie Callas, who portrayed Malcolm Argos in the TV series Switch and appeared in multiple Mel Brooks films such as Silent Movie, High Anxiety and History of the World, Part I…and somehow was Sinestro from that infamous "Legends of the Superheroes" special DC Comics made…portrayed the voice of the dragon Elliot. The third key role of Nora, the daughter of the lighthouse keeper of the Maine town of Passamaquoddy, is portrayed by Australian singer Helen Reddy, a major pop star of the early and mid 1970s; while her father Lampie is portrayed by classic film star Mickey Rooney. Main villain Dr. Terminus is played by British actor Jim Dale; while his partner Hoagy is by Oscar-winning character actor Red Buttons. Fellow Oscar winner…and Poseidon Adventure co-star…Shelley Winters plays Lena Gogan, the matriarch of the Gogan clan who tries to "own" Pete, with Charles Tyner as her husband Merle and actors Gary Morgan and Jeff Conaway (a year prior to his role in the TV show Taxi and his major role as Kenickie in Grease) as their sons Grover and Willie; and finally Jim Backus, the Millionaire Thurston Howell III from Gilligan's Island and voice actor of animated character Mr. Magoo among others, is the mayor of the town of Passamaquoddy.

(Erica pauses the video)

Erica: OK, Helen Reddy I know; but Mr. Magoo and Sinestro?

Kiera: (in box, standing proud) I am woman; here me…um…

Erica: (to herself) You're not that much of a woman.

Kiera: (in box, cups herself) I'm way more woman than you.

Erica: (to herself) Don't remind me.

Tomoko: This dragon Elliot doesn't really even look much like an Asian dragon; he what sort of dragon is he?

Taeko: (in box) Pete's dragon.

Tomoko: (to herself) I mean aside from that?

Erica: Since we're probably going to look at the music later, let's just get started. And I suppose the film begins with…um…a kid floating in the air as if he's being held by something while being chased by a bunch of Acadian hicks.

Tomoko: Acadian?

Erica: A mixed race of the Maritimes that lived in mostly what's today Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and some sections of Maine I suppose; mostly French but with some British and Native American blood. Some of them were eventually forced to leave when the British fully took over the area and ended up as the Cajuns in Louisiana, but many stay and it's a prominent subculture in Eastern Canada today…and maybe the states but they never seem to pride it.

Kiera: (in box) They don't seem to pride anything in the states.

Erica: I suppose the kid is Pete, the main character of the film; and the invisible "thing" holding him up is Pete's dragon, given the name of Elliot.

Quinn: (in box) And herein basically is the big problem with the movie in the very first moment: the fact that the dragon is basically going to be part of the whole thing from the beginning. There's no build-up, there's no element of slowly potentially revealing Elliot and allowing for it to be emotionally stimulating; nope, Elliot's basically there from the beginning with Pete being carried around invisibly; and a bit later with Elliot "revealing himself" once the coast is clear from the Gogans. The strange thing is that Elliot has the same sort of purpose as what we've seen prior with both Mary Poppins and even Eglantine Price, being someone who helps out someone in need by appearing before them, sticking around long enough to change their lives for the better and then leaves. But the approach of literally revealing Elliot from the beginning, especially with that opening shot but eventually when he's revealed in the next scene, takes away all of the suspense of the story and forces us to take a different approach to things. The concept feels like something that wants to be the children's version of the play and film Harvey, where a man befriends a giant invisible pookah rabbit that may or may not be real but that many consider may make the man who sees him as insane and driving them apart. In that play, the point is that the rabbit is invisible and we never know whether or not he's insane or if he really is a magical being that is assisting the lead character, thus driving the interactions of the characters and the plot of the story. But here, we don't get any of that because we know from the start that there is an Elliot; we see the special effects when he appears around Pete and those it interacts with; and of course the animated scenes shows that Elliot is around. It gets more ridiculous as we find out why Elliot is here and the extent of his powers, but I think Ken Anderson's decision to make Elliot an interactive part of the story just ends up reducing down the potential of who this story is for; we can't believe the doubt of others and whether or not there is a dragon as the film moves into the town of Passamaquoddy, because we know from the beginning that there is a dragon and he's helping Pete out. And at the same time, the relationship between Pete and Elliot is still rather bizarre, but I'll get to that hopefully…if Hydie doesn't exhaust herself out with the songs.

Hydie: (to herself, giggling) I won't.

Erica: Chasing after Pete and Elliot are the Gogans, a clan of…I'd say Acadian hicks but just hicks honestly. And their whole family is just a bunch of sloppy, hairy, disgusting freaks who run amuck as they sing joyfully about wanting to find Elliot and treat him nice and fair…but at the same time seem to also want to…eat him?

Kiera: (in box, disgusted) I personally think that's going too far.

Tomoko: Wait…really…they want to eat him?

Taeko: (in box, turns woozy) I think I'm going to be sick.

Erica: Well some of the lyrics of the first song are about roasting Pete so they can eat him for dessert but they also mention drowning him and tying him to a railroad track all while contrasting with "we'll take good care of you!"

Tomoko: Well no wonder the kid wants to get out of there.

Kiera: (in box) I want someone to eat me…but not in that way. (giggles)

Erica: The general story we find out here is that Pete is basically a slave; he was bought for fifty dollars with fifty extra processing fee to work for the Gogans and his escaping is not in said contract and they don't want to see them lose their "property".

Quinn: (in box) I really don't want to get into issues of slavery and whether it still existed or not in the late 19th/early 20th century when this takes place, but obviously it's wrong and I believe we all can believe that. The truth is that slavery was abolished in the United States by the 13th amendment and nearly all the slaves were typically African and occasionally Native American origin. So the whole idea of the set-up from the beginning of "a white boy sold into servitude for some hicks just to be saved by a magic dragon" is obviously a ridiculous set-up to begin with and just an excuse to show the hardships that Pete would need a dragon in the first place. That or there's a different set of rules that work in the hills of Maine none of us are privy towards.

Tomoko: He isn't much "property" considering how scrawny he is. And how long were they going to keep Pete around to begin with if this is what they were doing to him?

Taeko: (in box, saddened) Probably until he was dead knowing them.

Erica: Eventually Pete is able to elude the Gogans after they give up searching for the night and he is able to hide in a tree while Elliot remains invisible.

(Anna walks by with several palm leaves in front of her, giggling while mouthing "I'm invisible" before returning to the kitchen)

Tomoko: How invisible is Elliot anyway?

Erica: Well the dragon is able to make himself fully invisible but they have this early gag where he just places himself in different forms of invisibility until he's truly invisible, mostly when they prepare to approach Passamaquoddy as Pete tries to find some way to survive amidst the whole "invisible dragon and running away from his hick owners" thing.

Kiera: (in box) That just sounds worse with every mention you make of it.

Erica: It's here that we finally meet Elliot and…hoo boy…

Tomoko: That's…a dragon?

Taeko: (in box) Well outside it's clicking sounds, it isn't that bad a dragon.

Erica: Yeah…it looks really strange for a dragon. Nothing like what we get around here.

Anna: (off-screen, excited) THANK YOU!

Erica: As they mention later, Elliot has the face of a camel, neck of a crocodile and the ears of a cow; while somehow being a fish...and a mammal?

Kiera: (in box) Wait, are they describing a dragon or some sort of abhorrent monstrosity?

Erica: (to herself) Well some of us think it's an abhorrent monstrosity.

Tomoko: (confused) But…what is it!?

Taeko: (in box) A dragon.

Tomoko: (to herself) How is that a dragon!? Heck, what about it makes it a dragon!?

Taeko: (in box) Dragons come in all shapes and sizes.

Tomoko: (to herself) And sexual orientations, I know that! I saw that Reluctant Dragon movie!

Taeko: (in box) So what's the problem?

Tomoko: (to herself, upset) HOW…IS…THAT…THING…A…DRAGON!?

Taeko: (in box) Some would probably ask the same about Anna, you know.

Tomoko: (to herself, upset) BUT ANNA IS…UM…

Taeko: (in box, giggling) Anna.

Tomoko: (to herself, upset) EXACTLY!

Erica: Somehow, they actually give a bit of a background regarding Pete and Elliot's relationship and…well it's rather familiar. Due to his captivity by the Gogans and seeing him in trouble, Elliot just came to Pete one day to be his friend and to help him out. And he is going to be there basically as long as Pete needs his help.

Kiera: (in box) It's nice but how the heck is an invisible dragon going to help a boy like him?

Quinn: (in box) This is what I was inferring to regarding this film's similarities to Mary Poppins and Bedknobs and Broomsticks. It's another film of a child in peril who is suddenly helped by a magical being who is going to be there as long as needed…or until the end of the movie. It's made coincidental that all three of these films have live action and animated elements, but the big difference of course is that Elliot isn't just some novelty of another world like Bert's chalk drawings or the Isle of Naboombu but an interactive member of the cast. However, the similarity is there and obviously Elliot just works as a wilder, more monstrous version of someone like Mary Poppins…or in some ways, Eglantine Price: a magical being who appears to kids in need and helps them out for a while. Considering the approach they use with Elliot it's probably understandable why they went the way they did with him, but it sort of shows the lack of imagination that the studio has other than to have a full film with a boy with an animated dragon. And while I do admire Don Bluth's work in this film in leading Elliot's animation with how fluid and great looking he is…despite his freakishness…

Hydie: (to herself) I prefer "adorably unique".

Quinn: (in box) The similarities with both Mary Poppins and Bedknobs and Broomsticks eventually becomes apparent, especially once the film moves into Passamaquoddy; let alone Bluth's eventual complaints of how his talents were being wasted leading to…well, we'll get there.

Erica: After spending a bit of time…um…just talking about how much they love one another.

Anna: (off-screen) Ich liebe dich, Tomoko! (giggles)

Tomoko: I highly doubt that's how a boy and a dragon admire one another.

Taeko: (in box) It probably works better than what really happens, though.

Erica: The two ultimately decide to search for food and maybe someone to look after them in the nearby town of…(sighs) Passamaquoddy.

Tomoko: Anything wrong with that name?

Erica: There is no town named Passamaquoddy; and really the name refers to a bay that's mostly in New Brunswick. Thus, my complaint: this movie really should be about Canada and not the US if they're going to use that name.

Kiera: (in box) But didn't they say that this story was "Pete's Dragon in the USA"?

Erica: (to herself) Which is why I think we need more Canadian content around here! If they're going to make a name that makes it in the US then do so; but we up North…or across the St. Croix considering this…need to have respect if you're going to use something that's mostly about us. That or at least use an actual American town like Lubec or something.

Kiera: (in box) Though how would a dragon work in Canada to begin with?

Erica: (to herself) We'll figure that out once we have the dragon.

Tomoko: So a dragon visits a Cana…er, American town. That should be interesting.

Erica: More or less it's what you'd think: there's an invisible dragon following Pete through this small American town causing all sorts of chaos to those around him while being invisible, ripping up fences, leaving behind dragon footprints in cement, tossing aside the mayor into a guy carrying around eggs.

Quinn: (in box) This, again, is a problem with showing Elliot earlier in the previous scene. We now know there's a dragon and obviously whenever Elliot's around, even when he's invisible, he's always going to be known to the audience in being around. If you want to make this work, there are multiple ways you can do so: either just have Elliot as invisible the entire film like Harvey and thus make even the audience question whether or not Elliot exists, have Elliot appear to be invisible and not leave any trace only to show up at the end somehow or, if implied here, have him as a literal invisible dragon causing the chaos that obviously is going to be blamed on Pete since no one knows any better with the later reveal…or non-reveal. Showing the audience that Elliot is real from the beginning, even with the animation, weakens the impact because we're in on the joke, know what Elliot looks like and thus it just lowers the expectation other than the idea of "who is going to know Elliot exists and when". And then when we see Elliot causing all this stupid chaos during the arrival in Passamaquoddy, we know that it's him even if the people don't, and thus its to get this whole sympathy idea of "Pete can't control him and here he is causing all this mischief because he's a dragon!" and it just turns everything into juvenile humor.

Hydie: (to herself) It is rather cheap sight gags I suppose.

Erica: Eventually this all culminates with the arrival of a drunk sailor-looking fellow who happens upon the duo; this sailor is Lampie, the old keeper of the lighthouse in Passamaquoddy, and a bit of a town drunk who spends most of his time in the local bar.

Kiera: (in box, giggling) As a good Canadian would.

Erica: (to herself) I thought we said they weren't Canadian, eh?

Kiera: (in box) Sorry, it was just too appealing.

Erica: Somehow while wandering around, Lampie "encounters" Elliot, thinking it's some guy who has turned green…

Hydie: (giggling off screen)

Kiera: (in box) That would be a wonderful compliment from a guy I admit.

Erica: (to herself) You stay out of this! (out loud) One of those things I've noticed in this movie is that a lot of people get drunk all the time in this town; I still think therefore this should be Canada and not Maine, but what do I know?

Quinn: (in box) It's obviously the means to try and justify to the idiots of the town in Elliot's existence without knowing or realizing "hey, there's an actual dragon around here". Despite, you know, how we have dragon footprints in the nearby cement and all the random wreckage being done that I don't think Pete is capable of. It's the same excuse as the "Pink Elephants" back in Dumbo but at least they were imagined…(under breath) I hate this movie.

Hydie: (to herself) Quiet, I need to prep for my next song.

Quinn: (in box, sighs) At least she gets this one over with.

Erica: Eventually Lampie starts to think and realize through Elliot "hey, there is a dragon in this town!"…and then he starts singing about it to the bar patrons about said dragon, causing a huge ruckus to everyone in town.

Tomoko: Well the alcohol is flowing throughout; so obviously it's just going to lead to complete and utter chaos.

Taeko: (in box) But it's a Disney movie, how can alcohol be just passed off so easily as a joke?

Tomoko: Ask those two idiot kings back in Sleeping Beauty; let alone that jester.

Taeko: (in box, embarrassed) I'm sort of torn on whether what Disney is doing is the right thing or not.

Erica: It's at this point we also meet Lampie's daughter Nora, whose first action in this film is…to calm down the crowds and her dad to make sure that he doesn't just…wreck Passamaquoddy with all that "dragon" talk.

Kiera: (in box) And then she gets caught up in the musical number as well.

Erica: (to herself) That's musical logic though: if you enter a number when someone is singing in dancing, you'll be singing…and dancing…and rolling on beer barrels…as well…

Kiera: (in box) And that…

Erica: (to herself) I have no clue other than just that it happens.

Hydie: (off-screen) I believe it is time for my second musical number, Betty.

Betty: Go ahead then.

Tomoko: Does she really have to?

Taeko: (in box) You heard before: she wanted to do this.

Tomoko: (to herself) But why do we have to be tortured with this?

(The camera cuts to Hydie, who is in a huge elegant Rococo gown and huge white wig while dolled up supremely cutely like a princess as the music starts playing)


"HE DANCED WITH ME" from "The Slipper and the Rose"

Originally written by The Sherman Brothers and performed by Gemma Craven

Hydie: (singing)

Rainbows raced around the room when he danced with me

Shooting stars began to zoom when he danced with me

In his arms I was ascending

My world became a magic blending

Of dreams and hopes and love

When he danced with me

Though this lovely night was only a fantasy

And I know tonight is all there will ever be

Dancing in his arms forever

My heart will never be free

Dreaming of the night he danced with me

(As the song ends, Hydie curtseys politely as we see Taeko in a box applauding enthusiastically!)

Taeko: (in box) Encore, encore!

Tomoko: (to herself) It wasn't that good.

Hydie: (blushing) I practiced.

Quinn: (in box, upset) Then why did you mangle "Nobody Does It Better"?

Hydie: (to herself) Because this was a priority song to me. (giggles)

Quinn: (in box, sighs) Yeah because it's a cute Cinderella movie adaptation; I get it…even if Cinderella isn't that important compared to others. Really that movie's more about Prince Charming, which at least is the inverse of Disney. Oh and random thought: the movie The Slipper and the Rose was originally released in 1976 in Great Britain and was the royal performance of the year; why it would be released in '77 in the states is confusing but it's happened before. Now just get changed so you can ruin the other three songs.

Hydie: (to herself) I think I can handle all three of them lovely.

Quinn: (in box) Stay delusional, Hydie.

(The camera returns to Erica and Tomoko)

Kiera: (in box) So?

Erica: (to herself) So what?

Kiera: (in box) She did a good job.

Erica: (to herself) For Hydie.

Tomoko: What the heck do these songs have to do with dragons?

Anna: (boobhatting Tomoko) Everything.

Tomoko: (sighs) Oh yeah…that's your sort of thing.

Taeko: (in box) You should have remember that, Tomoko.

Anna: (giggles) Oh you sweet, sweet fraulein. (leaves)

Erica: Back to the movie, Nora does finally drags her dad out of the bar after that big musical number…

Kiera: (in box) It was a gay old time.

Erica: (to herself) Everyone seemed straight myself. (out loud) And they return to the lighthouse at the edge of town, which they actually are the caretakers of. Obviously, Nora wants to get her dad out of trouble, but it isn't like he's the only one being reprimanded for misbehaving within the town.

Tomoko: Oh yeah…the dragon.

Taeko: (in box) I'm so confused on how the heck Elliot is supposed to even work. Can't he give us any hints?

Tomoko: (to herself) How should I know? I can't control Anna so how should I know how this Elliot is supposed to be.

Erica: After the chaos Elliot caused in town…

Kiera: (in box, giggling) Including causing a random musical number…

Erica: Pete decides to hide the dragon in a nearby cave all while reprimanding him for what he pulled prior. All while…Elliot tries to play tic-tac-toe on his body.

Kiera: (in box) Doesn't he worry about burning his body with that stick?

Erica: (to herself) Fire dragon so his scales are probably resistant to that.

Tomoko: Playing tic-tac-toe on your body really just sounds like it hurts.

Taeko: (in box) Why not just play it in the sand; I mean they are on the beach.

Tomoko: (to herself) They move to a cave.

Taeko: (in box) Cave dust? I mean there's probably easier ways than just using your body.

Tomoko: (to herself) I don't get dragons sometimes.

Erica: Eventually after Pete and Elliot make up, the boy leaves the cave where he's first encountered by Nora, since the cave happens to be not too far from the lighthouse she lives at. Despite probably spending most of her time tending to her dad and his latest drunk ramblings about "a dragon", Nora did notice Pete in town and invites him up to the lighthouse to look after him.

Taeko: (in box) Well that accomplishes the main plot of the movie.

Tomoko: (to herself) What plot? Those two just met.

Taeko: (in box) Isn't it obvious: Nora meets Pete and thus the two eventually love each other and he gets adopted by him.

Tomoko: (to herself) Are you really sure they're going to go with that sort of cliché story element?

Quinn: (in box) I suppose this is more the Bedknobs and Broomsticks side of things compared to the Mary Poppins side. Sure, Nora isn't Ms. Price, but the whole idea of a child meeting a woman and getting adopted by them after a bunch of magical elements occurring is just extremely similar to that. And of course, the fact that the dragon is still there and there's still a whole movie to go…well it's obvious where it's going but of course they had to meet eventually.

Hydie: (to herself) As long as they live happily.

Quinn: (in box) Again, we have the rest of the movie to get to that.

Erica: Eventually the two talk and of course the main thing of concern is regarding Elliot; as you'd think it would be. Nora wants to know of this "dragon" that her father has seen out there and Pete is obviously up to telling her about him, leading to another musical number.

Kiera: (in box) Of course it does.

Erica: (to herself) I didn't write this movie so it isn't like I can control it.

Kiera: (in box) But the music in this movie is so lame!

Erica: (to herself) I thought you didn't mind soft-rock, Lola!

Kiera: (in box) Hey, just because a sexy girl likes Barry Manilow doesn't mean that she has to like all music close to it than that. Barry's different, don't you agree?

Erica: (to herself) You're not much of a girl, you know.

Kiera: (in box, blushing) I'm a woman in body but a girl at heart!

Tomoko: So does he get her on his side about the dragon or doesn't he? Considering the fact that we have an actual dragon running amuck…

Erica: I think it's one of those "I'll believe you because you're a kid but my dad's still nuts" moments. I mean her dad was drunk claiming there's a dragon running around town, and now here comes this boy who claims he has a magic dragon at the same exact time.

Tomoko: If they didn't make Elliot so confusing in his usage, then maybe people would be able to be more open to it.

Taeko: (in box) Dragons are just complex and confusing creatures.

Tomoko: (to herself) No they're not! They're just big lumbering things…or maids. There's not much more one can say.

Taeko: (in box) So how would Elliot look as a butler?

Tomoko: (to herself) Do we need to question that stupid clicking "thing" as a dragon butler?

Erica: Unfortunately for us, Pete isn't the only character keeping secrets among the cast…well not secrets, more just "things they're obsessively holding on to". Within the lighthouse, the boy spies a picture of a man, whom Nora identifies as Paul, Nora's husband. In a way, part of the reason that Nora is able to easily bond with Pete is due to her own loss in the same way he has no parents: over a year prior, Paul went out to sea for his job, only to mysteriously vanish to not leave any word or contact to her. Obviously everyone believes that Paul is dead, but Nora keeps up her hope that he's out there alive somewhere.

Hydie: (off-screen) That's a song cue!

Quinn: (in box) Not yet!

Hydie: (to herself) But…

Quinn: (in box) She does sing about it…but not yet.

Tomoko: So a boy has no family and a woman has no husband…I say outside Nora's drunk father who thinks dragons exist, they're basically family already.

Taeko: (in box) More or less….though dragons do exist.

Tomoko: (to herself) But the more who realize that, the sooner the movie ends.

Erica: Obviously this is probably made to set up the relationship and show that there is a connection that will allow for Pete to find peace at the end with Nora. But of course, there's a bit more to it than that.

Kiera: (in box) The really improbable part.

Erica: Somehow…Pete claims that he can use Elliot and use his powers to bring Paul back…um…right?

Kiera: (in box) Really, that just comes from out of nowhere; just move on woman, he isn't coming back!

Tomoko: And how the heck is Elliot going to do that?

Quinn: (in box) We find out more on how Elliot does it later, but of course this is a means to try and create the inevitable "happily ever after" at the end amidst a bunch of other things and just try to show Elliot as a "problem solver" to the same extent as…no, he isn't the same as Mary Poppins.

Hydie: (to herself) What do you mean by that?

Quinn: (in box) Mary helps others but as we saw, most of what she does is parlor tricks for amusement, with the real lesson basically being to inspire others and force change in them. Remember, the one who needed to be changed and saved wasn't Jane and Michael Banks but their father George…and maybe their mother Winifred but that was sort of a slight random slip-up the movie did. The most important thing that Mary did despite all her "miracles" was inspire George to go to the bank with the kids and then tell the Bird Woman tale to Jane and Michael to basically force a confrontation with the father about what is important to him, his job or his family.

Hydie: (to herself) And Elliot?

Quinn: (in box) We find out later that Elliot isn't just a big, strong dragon but a dragon with bizarre magic powers. It's bizarre enough that we find out that Paul survived after his disappearance but that somehow Elliot creates a vision that makes him "wake up" from his amnesia and eventually sail back to Passamaquoddy by the climax. It's a feel-good means for an end but it just sort of adds more problems and furthers the juvenile feel this movie has compared to the strong lessons and mature storytelling of even a film like Mary Poppins.

Hydie: (to herself) No one really can do it like Mary, huh?

Erica: You would think that it's problematic enough for the town that there's a dragon living nearby considering all the chaos he just caused and the fact that the boy he's "watching over" is now living there; but as is Elliot remains a rumor and even Nora is just playing along with Pete's accusations while telling her father to "pretend" that there is a dragon to help ease Pete into living in the town.

Kiera: (in box) Despite the fact that, you know, there is a dragon.

Erica: (to herself) Yeah but they don't realize it.

Quinn: (in box) And thus more confusion: how can you create a story of "is there a dragon or isn't there" if we know of Elliot and we've seen him for multiple scenes? As is, they want to try and pull the fleece over the town of Passamaquoddy and the idea there could be a dragon but they don't realize it, but it just feels clumsy that we know there's a dragon when they don't. (sighs) I really hate this movie.

Erica: And just when you can't think the town can't have any more problems…

Heather: (off-screen) Move it, you blonde bimbo! We have a role to play!

Brittany: (off-screen) Come on, I'm the one carrying all the stuff!

Heather: (off-screen) Don't you have another way to help yourself with this?

Brittany: (off-screen) Well I keep suggesting we need a "dancing bear act" but you kept saying no!

Heather: (off-screen) And what part of our role requires a dancing bear?

Brittany: (off-screen) I just think it's cuter than what we're hired for.

(Heather and Brittany arrive on scene in human form, Heather dressed as an early 1900s medicine man with Brittany dressed as Hoagy with a huge bowler hat hiding her blonde tresses)

Heather: We're not Rashid, but if you want lotions and potions and anything that can help you out…I suppose.

Brittany: I was much cuter as a gypsy woman when playing Little John; this just feels embarrassing for someone like me.

Heather: (stares her down) What did you say?

Brittany: (wincing) Sorry.

Erica: …enter Doctor Terminus.

Heather: That is a terrible name for a doctor; shouldn't they be saving lives and not taking them?

Quinn: (in box) It's another sign of this movie's childishness. Seriously, anyone hears the name "Terminus" and all they can imagine is a bad guy.

Hydie: (to herself) And anyone who hears the name "Hoagy" thinks a sandwich. (giggles)

Quinn: (in box) Wasn't there also a guy from that "Kids Next Door" show with that name?

Erica: Of course, Doctor Terminus is probably about as infamous in Passamaquoddy as the dragon and the moment he arrives, everyone wants him gone!

Heather: Will you just finish setting everything up, you ditz?

Brittany: (building a stand) Come on, I'm the only one doing all the work; why aren't you?

Heather: Because someone needs to sell the wares.

Brittany: What wares; they're all just colored water.

Tomoko: Yeesh, this guy just sounds like an evil version of that Browne guy from Bedknobs and Broomsticks.

Taeko: (in box) He has none of the awesome portliness.

Tomoko: (to herself) You consider portliness as an attribute?

Takeo: (in box, blushing) Only when it fits the character.

Quinn: (in box, sighs) Yeah they caught on before I could say that: while this is an earlier time period, Doctor Terminus is basically an evil Professor Emileus Browne, selling crap to people and trying to make them buy it so he can make money. The differences is that he has Hoagy as a partner and is way less honest than Browne; who at least knew he was a fraud and sort of had to learn about the power of magic the hard way as opposed to being a fraud and remaining an evil crooked fraud throughout.

Hydie: (to herself) I miss Professor Browne.

Quinn: (in box) I think most people do knowing someone like Terminus exists.

Hydie: (to herself) He does have a neat means of transportation though.

Quinn: (in box) It's basically the East Coast version of Windwagon Smith's wagon.

Hydie: (to herself) I always wish I could have been the girl in that short. (sighs longingly)

Quinn: (in box, folds arms) Figures.

Erica: It becomes rather evident from the beginning that Passamaquoddy hates Terminus and Terminus isn't really a fan of the town either.

Kiera: (in box) So they leave.

Erica: (to herself) No they wouldn't do such a thing considering what's on the line.

Heather: OK, if anyone wants anything, then come and get it. Red stuff, blue stuff, green stuff, purple stuff, guaranteed to heal what ails you!

Brittany: Oh, I need some assistance, my dear sir!

(Brittany appears wearing an outfit that looks nothing like Hoagy's, now wearing the outfit of a woman from the 1890s with huge wide-brimmed hat and dress)

Tomoko: And how the heck did she costume change so quickly?

Taeko: (in box) No one knows how she does it but Britt herself.

Brittany: (nervously) Madame Terminus…I am having these…problems at home. I can't make my children listen to me and I was wondering if I was too weak…

Heather: Um…Britt…that wasn't the plot. The plot was "I feel sickly and I want to be healthy".

Brittany: (whispering) I want to make the audience believe that your stuff can work so play along.

Heather: (whispering) I'm not playing along; you just want an excuse to hulk out with colored water.

Brittany: (whispering) Well duh! Unlike most people, I like my mutated form! And I thought it would be an adorable way to sell your product!

Heather: (whispering) Why wouldn't I get someone else to play my partner?

Brittany: (whispering) Betty forced us to play this role so just go along with it.

Heather: (whispering) But I'm not going along with your version, you ditz!

Tomoko: Um…Doctor…Hoagy…

(The two realize and straighten up with Brittany running off)

Heather: Of course…well, I may need another volunteer. Someone that isn't "bruin" for any more problems.

"Old Woman Voice": Well how about me? I'm a hundred years old and need more pep in my step.

(Brittany reappears as an old woman with glasses similar to Quinn's)

Quinn: (in box, shocked) HOW DID SHE GET MY GLASSES!?

Hydie: (to herself, giggling) You're not using them.


Heather: And how may I help you my good lady?

Brittany: (old-woman voice) Do you think you have something that can help me out?

Heather: Well…(pulls out colored water) This should be the stuff.

Brittany: (old-woman voice) Why thank you. (puts it in her purse)

Heather: Um…aren't you going to…demonstrate it to the audience?

Brittany: (old-woman voice) You know me…I rather make sure I take care of myself; I mean I could just drink it and it could cause problems to the crowd here so I'm going.

Heather: (rushing up to Britt) Isn't the whole point of being a quack formula seller to sell the product by drinking it?

Brittany: (whispering) Well what if this is real formula? I don't want to make any real problems.

Heather: (whispering) It's just colored water.

Brittany: (whispering) But how am I supposed to know that? You may claim it's colored water but then it's a means to trick me to drink it and then I'll turn into some sort of monster.\

Heather: (shocked) YOU'RE A WEREBEAR!

Brittany: (whispering) And what if it does something to said werebear form? I have to watch out to make sure I remain adorable you know.

(Having enough, Heather storms away without saying anything as if she's had enough)

Brittany: (following) Hey, I'm sorry. I'll drink the formula, honest I will! I'll even turn into a freak…well more of one!

Tomoko: Betty, why did you have them play the vaudeville act?

Betty: (off-screen) Look, do you really think I have the resources to get someone better? They were the only ones available and I think we need a break from guest stars after that whole mess last time. After how many people went unconscious after that little Star Wars stunt, I think they need a break from us.

Taeko: (in box) I thought they worked.

Tomoko: (to herself) How?

Taeko: (in box) I think Britt's hysterical whenever she makes Heather go crazy.

Erica: So…somehow or another, by way of another song number…

Hydie: (off-screen) Now?

Quinn: (in box) Can't you be patient?

Hydie: (off-screen) I just want to make sure I do what I need to when I can.

Erica: …the town of Passamaquoddy goes from wanting to just get rid of Terminus as quickly as possible to possible customers for his obviously fraudulent liquids.

Kiera: (in box) I hope they at least taste good being mostly alcohol.

Erica: (to herself) But it means nothing to you; I'd be the one knocked unconscious.

Kiera: (in box) But who knows, with how fraudulent formulas get…

Tomoko: I just sort of hope that none of that stuff they had was Hyde formula.

Taeko: (in box) It would turn that town into a mess and I doubt they really want that with how normal they want to appear.

Erica: Meanwhile, Nora and Pete try to get closer and become more like a mother and son to one another; Nora even buying a new suit for Pete to wear instead of his typical overalls. Obviously keeping track of Elliot, Pete visits the cave to make sure that the dragon is alright when he has a bit of free time from Nora.

Kiera: (in box) Wouldn't anyone suspect why Pete is going down to a random cave?

Erica: (to herself) Eh, as is, that's sort of where Nora first saw Pete so of course to her, this is a pretend dragon and this is Pete's means of "coping" with his own loneliness.

Tomoko: OK, so what about the whole situation with the old drunk? I mean obviously Pete knows Elliot exists and keeps pushing that Elliot exists, but Lampie is…well…

Taeko: (in box) An excuse to prove why drinking so much is a bad thing.

Erica: When Lampie continues to make accusations about the dragon, Nora merely just thanks him for "playing along" with the ideas that Pete has a dragon.

Tomoko: Despite…you know…Elliot does exist.

Taeko: (in box) This movie remains confused about all that.

Erica: Of course, Lampie continues to make his accusations regarding the existence of the dragon in the town, but at the same time he actually makes a valid point: his accusations of the dragon is about as wild and crazy…as Nora's clasping to the idea that Paul is still out there and alive despite being missing for over a year.

Kiera: (in box, cutely) Boom.

Tomoko: He has a point.

Taeko: (in box, sniffling) Sadly.

Quinn: (in box) This is probably one of the key bonding points and circumstances of the trio within the lighthouse, which I think could have worked under different circumstances. Pete obviously has an "invisible friend" who happens to be a dragon, it exists but he has a hard time in either revealing that he's out there and at the same time needs to keep Elliot hidden away due to the problems he causes as we saw earlier. Lampie believes the dragon exists but no one believes him and obviously Pete can't just go out and say that he has Elliot considering his concerns. And then there's Nora, who believes that her husband is alive out there, but no one believes her and is just holding on to her idea that he's alive and will eventually reunite with her. The entire lighthouse is filled up with these unbelievable dreamers and it's tough for one to understand who is right and who is wrong when they all have their beliefs and none of them are being outright denied or ignored. The only funny thing is that the most unbelievable one right now is Nora due to Elliot's existence: sure Lampie has his accusations but because we as an audience knows that Elliot exists, we know he's right but is just dealing with the scorn of people who think he's wrong and Pete's own denial by way of people thinking he's just a crazy kid who happens to have an imaginary friend that's a dragon. On the other hand, there are no hints or ideas that Paul lives, if he survived prior or where he'd even be if he did survive. We know Elliot exists and that Pete's and Lampie's turmoil are brought about by an uncaring community; but Paul is basically presumed dead and Nora's own turmoil is brought about by her continued hope that he did survive and thus is more imagination than the existence of a dragon. Sure there is Pete's assurances that Elliot can potentially find Paul if he's still alive, but as is, Nora's probably the craziest one of the trio and she seems the most normal compared to a little boy and a drunk lighthouse master, both of whom are associated with the rumors of "the dragon".

Hydie: (to herself) That sounds terrible.

Quinn: (in box, sighs) And this leads to our next song…but don't just rush out there until they tell you to, Hydie.

Hydie: (to herself) Why would I?

Quinn: (in box) Because I know you too well.

Erica: Nora basically tells her dad to go away and get drunk in the bar…

Kiera: (in box, giggling) So he can see more dragons.

Erica: …and Nora…goes on top of a lighthouse to sing about her anguish.

Betty: (off-screen) Hydie, that's your cue.

Hydie: (excited) Yay!

Quinn: (in box) Seriously? With this song?

(The camera switches to Hydie, who is dressed in the same dress as Nora from this scene in the movie in front of a flimsy cardboard lighthouse as she sings)


"CANDLE ON THE WATER" from "Pete's Dragon"

Originally written by Al Kasha & Joel Hirschhorn and performed by Helen Reddy

Hydie: (singing)

I'll be your candle on the water
My love for you will always burn
I know you're lost and drifting
But the clouds are lifting
Don't give up, you have somewhere to turn

I'll be your candle on the water
'Till ev'ry wave is warm and bright
My soul is there beside you
Let this candle guide you
Soon, you'll see a golden stream of light

A cold and friendless tide has found you
Don't let the stormy darkness pull you down
I'll paint a ray of hope around you
Circling in the air
Lighted by a prayer

I'll be your candle on the water
This flame inside of me will grow
Keep holding on, you'll make it
Here's my hand, so take it
Look for me, reaching out to show
As sure as rivers flow

I'll never let you go
I'll never let you go
I'll never let you go

Quinn: (in box, sighs) I'll get a bit more into it when we talk about the songs of the movie, but really all I need to say is simple: it's basically "The Morning After" retooled for this movie; which makes sense because…same songwriters. Oh and considering another song Hydie, unfortunately, is going to sing, this one deliberately had some religious symbolism in it; while that other song…was implied due to the circumstances of said song.

Hydie: (to herself) Which is that?

Quinn: (in box) The Debbie Boone song; so can you change already so you can ruin that next?

(The camera returns to Erica and Tomoko)

Tomoko: That really wasn't that good, especially with how Hydie's voice just…pierces.

Kiera: (in box) That should have been me.

Erica: (to herself) Really? You really wanted to sing that?

Kiera: (in box) Well if it meant it could be presented in a manner better than that.

Tomoko: I just wonder if she cares about any songs other than that Cinderella one.

Taeko: (in box) You know Hydie so the answer is…(giggles) Probably?

Erica: As Helen Reddy belts her Oscar clip, her dad of course returns to the main bar in Passamaquoddy to get drunk some more.

Tomoko: Is that all they're using this guy for?

Taeko: (in box, depressed) Sadly.

Erica: Lampie returns to the bar just as Terminus and Hoagy continue to fleece the people of the town out of their money for their "miracle cures".

Kiera: (in box) If people want their booze, they can get it in the bar; all they're getting is booze, maybe some herbs and colored water. And I doubt they know the ingredients for Hyde formula so…what gives?

Erica: (to herself) This is why the people in Maine are hicks compared to us civilized New Brunswickians.

Kiera: (in box, giggles) She calls herself civilized.

Erica: (to herself, blushing) Well I am!

Kiera: (in box) Not from what I've seen, darling. That's why I exist, you know.

Erica: (to herself, depressed) Some pop culture phenomenon have personifications of greater mystery and psychological analysis. I've gotten some over-buxom, over-sexed Girl Scout.

Kiera: (in box) And I take that as a compliment, you know.

Tomoko: So you have two quacks in a bar and some drunk lighthouse keeper yelling that dragons exist. That sort of sounds like the recipe for a disaster.

Taeko: (in box) Recipe, I think it's brewing up already.

Erica: More or less. Lampie keeps getting drunk and making his claims that the dragon exists near the town and while it doesn't really interest Terminus at first, Hoagy, who likewise is getting drunk while his boss is fleecing the town, ends up becoming a willing listener, all while Terminus thinks dragons are...um...

Betty: (off-screen) I wonder if we'll ever meet a drag dragon. Then again that probably is more "The Reluctant Dragon" over Elliot.

Taeko: (in box) I think that the Reluctant Dragon's accepting of his sexuality that he doesn't need to dress up like he's someone else.

Tomoko: (to herself) And what does that have to do with anything?

Taeko: (in box, blushing) I...like...the Reluctant Dragon?

Erica: Eventually at his interest, Lampie and Hoagy decide to take a chance with what they know about Pete and try to visit the cave in wondering whether or not the dragon exists; all while Terminus just makes bad jokes about being "docked into" being a doctor and wanting to see a lady about a nursing career.

Kiera: (in box, in sexy nurses outfit) Well he may not like the town but Terminus really is getting everything he wants out of it.

Erica: (to herself) Um...what's that?

Kiera: (in box) Yeah probably not the time period of the movie but if Terminus wants a nurse, I am still available. (giggles)

Brittany: (off-screen) So, need help finding that dragon?

Tomoko: No, we know where the dragon is, bruin girl; why not...eat some honey or something elsewhere.

Brittany: (reappears) Nonsense, if you need help finding the dragon then I'm your girl. I mean if you're going to be visiting a cave, I know all the caves in the area.

Tomoko: For what, hibernating?

Taeko: (in box) Would she really want to hibernate in a cave?

Brittany: Of course I wouldn't hibernate in a cave; don't you know how hard it is to get a soft pillow and warm blanket in a cave? What sort of girl do you think I am?

Erica: Eventually after getting drunk some more, both Lampie and Hoagy head down to Elliot's cave...

Brittany: None for me, not while I'm here.

Heather: (off-screen) They weren't asking you.

Brittany: I know but I mean if they want to recreate it...

Erica: Somehow Hoagy gets the idea that he wants to pet "the dragon" as he drags Lampie into the cave, all while Lampie just rambles on and on about what he saw...within ear-shot of Elliot as he starts getting scared about what sort of hideous monster is with him.

Anna: (scared) There's...a hideous monster in here? Oh mein gott!

(Anna starts to hide behind Britt as Tomoko giggles)

Erica: It goes how you think with Lampie and Hoagie trying to figure out where the dragon is as the creature gets more and more built up as a threat while Elliot inadvertently joins them worried about the same creature.

Kiera: (in box) Um, wouldn't they worry that the dragon is thinking there's something even worse than it in the same room as them?

Erica: (to herself) I think they're all out of it at this point, including the dragon.

Anna: (tapping on Britt's shoulder) Do you think you can tell me whenever that monster appears?

Brittany: (obliviously) OK.

Tomoko: It's basically the idiots leading the idiots in this case; I sort of wonder if there's anyone sane in this town with people seeing dragons and even the dragon thinking there's a dragon around.

Taeko: (in box) It could be like that one movie series where there are different types of dragons and a pecking order.

Tomoko: (to herself) That would just sound silly; especially with the dragons we deal with.

Erica: Eventually they all get scared by...something...only for Hoagy and Lampie to realize Elliot is around considering he's in the same boat as them.

Anna: (taps Brittany on the shoulder) Guten tag?

Brittany: (cutely) Oh, hi Anna.

Anna: (smiles cutely)

Erica: Oh and then Hoagy offers some booze to Elliot which makes him breathe fire and force the duo out of the cave.

Anna: (cutely) Not really my thing; sure there are other fire-breathers but that's not something I'm good at. (giggles)

Brittany: Well it isn't like we all can do everything.

Kiera: (in box) I'm surprised we've never had a dragon drink booze prior; and with how flammable alcohol can be already, giving it to a dragon probably...well, it's better than giving it to Erica.

Erica: (to herself) Hey, I have to get drunk sometimes.

Kiera: (in box) Darling, all that happens when you get drunk is lose consciousness and I have to take over. As wonderful as it is, don't you have to worry about yourself?

Erica: Um...well...

Quinn: (in box) I'd say something but really it speaks for itself, and at the same time while having two drunk idiots meet Elliot instead of one drunk idiot is bad enough, this sort of leads to the rest of the movie since Hoagy is still on Terminus' side...and what Terminus sees in dragons isn't the same as what Pete and others see in dragons.

Erica: At this point, Hoagy does try to tell Terminus about Elliot, but it doesn't go that well as you'd think with him thinking he's drunk and when he says he isn't, just leading to Terminus to tell his partner to get drunk again.

Tomoko: How many times are people going to get drunk in this movie?

Brittany: Not sure really.

Tomoko: And what are you still doing here?

Brittany: Oh. (leaves, with Anna stalking behind her)

Taeko: (in box) I really wish Anna would hang out with us right now.

Tomoko: Do we really want to be glomped when we have things to focus on?

Taeko: (in box) But isn't our focus on the fact of whether or not a dragon exists?

Tomoko: I'm not sure anymore honestly.

Erica: The next day, Nora decides to take Pete on his first day of school, and of course the main thing on everyone's mind is Elliot; especially considering the current state of the town.

Tomoko: Wait, things get worse because of the dragon?

Erica: That's the thing: it turns out that the fish aren't biting and the fisherman are having a hard time catching anything. And with fishing being one of the primary focal careers around Passamaquoddy, this problem in keeping up their standard of living isn't making anything any easier for anyone.

Kiera: (in box) I'd blame climate change myself.

Erica: (to herself) In the early 1900s?

Kiera: (in box) Why not; considering the industrial revolution at the time, it was already doing that job at the time.

Erica: Nora does make mention of a simple truth: there are times where the fish just aren't around the town and that has nothing to do with whether or not a dragon is there.

Quinn: (in box) This is actually one of the more interesting elements of the movie and something that feels true to life with how people try to find someone to blame for their problems and just go with "the unknown" because it's just easier to go in that direction. Obviously Nora is correct in that Elliot wasn't behind the fish leaving the town and it's just nature; but this of course is more to set up that there are those in Passamaquoddy that are getting restless about the problems and are going to be easily manipulated to try and resolve it through scapegoating. They already have a good idea of blaming Elliot, but they need the means to get behind someone for Elliot to be "blamed".

Hydie: (to herself) But doesn't Nora not believe in Elliot?

Quinn: (in box) She's playing along with Pete and her dad so obviously she is the only one literally pretending Elliot exists to satiate those two. And even if she doesn't believe in Elliot, she also doesn't believe in Elliot being the source of the problems that can be easily resolved.

Erica: This leads to another musical number...

Hydie: (excited) Now?

Quinn: (in box) We just sang the theme of the movie so give it time!

Erica: ...where Nora supposes that anyone can live in the town and there's room enough for everyone, including, of course, Elliot.

Tomoko: Considering she isn't a fan of the dragon or doesn't care for it...or something...she really is just a bit too defensive when it comes to said dragon.

Taeko: (in box) She's being considerate.

Tomoko: (to herself) How? Again, she's the only one who doesn't believe Elliot exists among the three at the lighthouse, so why would she be the one that keeps needing to defend it?

Taeko: (in box) Because they need to keep giving Nora songs for being an established singer?

Tomoko: (to herself) Eh, I sort of get that.

Erica: After a whole musical number where the kids "appear" to dance with Elliot...when in reality they were...

Kiera: (in box) Isn't it convenient that Elliot happened to be there when they wanted to dance and sing about him?

Erica: We finally get Pete attending his first day of school in Passamaquoddy in an attempt to be "normal"...well it's almost normal...

Tomoko: What's normal for him? He's been a slave to a bunch of hicks, running around with an imaginary dragon, and lives in a lighthouse.

Taeko: (in box) Normal is all in perspective.

Tomoko: But if he's not normal, then maybe Pete needs to embrace that.

Erica: After he gets reprimanded for causing problems in making all the students in the school late due to their little song and dance number, the next bit is just a routine involving Pete's first day at school and the trouble Elliot causes due to not knowing what school is or why Pete is in there for a whole day.

Kiera: (in box) Haven't they heard of home-school? I mean just find a way to mail Pete his lessons and then he can learn while living with his dragon.

Erica: I have no clue considering I have no idea what the states were even doing at this time regarding education.

Kiera: (in box) Then again you got a public education as well, eh?

Erica: (to herself) Yeah but they don't have to know that. (out loud) Elliot screws around ringing the bell and when Pete tries to tell him to knock it off, the fact that he's nowhere to be seen ends up getting him in trouble, including being reprimanded. Then it gets really confusing...first Elliot is in the school and pulls the chair from the teacher making her think Pete was behind it...and then when she keeps reprimanding him, he literally bursts in from...outside?

Quinn: (in box) Can they at least be consistent about where Elliot is? I mean if they're not going to make him Pete's "imaginary friend" and physically exist for everyone to interact with, then at least have him in one place at one time instead of just popping in and out like that.

Hydie: (to herself) It doesn't seem that confusing to me?

Quinn: (in box) How the heck then did Elliot appear outside to ring the bell, then inside to pull the teacher's chair, then outside again to burst that huge dragon-shaped hole in the schoolhouse...and then another dragon-shaped hole as he leaves?

Hydie: (to herself) That is rather confusing.

Tomoko: So dragon-shaped holes...hopefully that doesn't lead to any further problems amidst all that's going on.

Taeko: (in box) Well it isn't like anyone believes a dragon exists except Pete...and Lampie...and Hoagy...

Erica: Oh and its at this point that Terminus and Hoagy see the hole and begin to realize that maybe there is something going on.

Taeko: (in box, confident) Told you so.

Tomoko: (to herself) Big deal, so that idiot drunk friend of Hoagy knows of the dragon and proved it to Terminus. That isn't going to lead to anything...

Erica: ...and then Terminus discovers in a book that dragon body parts are valuable and can be used for all sorts of miracle cures, leading to a song and dance number about how they're going to chop up Elliot and use him for said miracle cures.


Tomoko: Well someone's upset at the idea.

Taeko: (in box) Wouldn't you be?

Tomoko: (to herself) I'm not a dragon so how would I care?

Taeko: (in box) Well what if, per se, some quack doctor ends up with a book showing the attributes of a Hyde and how the mutated genetics of a Hyde can be used to create special drugs that can help other people out? Then how would you feel?

Tomoko: (to herself) Um...don't freak me out about that sort of thing.

Taeko: (in box) That's why you need to feel empathy for Anna. Someone just found out that dragon parts are good for random medicinal needs and she wants to protect her body from that being used in such a manner.

Tomoko: (to herself) But who the heck would even do that? I mean Anna's a big girl...dragon...mutant...thing...what is she anyway? Is she a human, a dragon or a mutant?

Taeko: (in box) You should know her better than me since I'm the submissive personality.

Tomoko: (to herself) But again, who would want to bring harm to a sweetheart like her?

Taeko: (in box) I fear there are a lot of people out there who don't get dragons and would do such a thing. They have little tolerance in them and probably would just see a beautiful being like her as an opportunity for money if they have the means to slice her into little itty bitty bits. It's a shame, really (sighs sadly) I really hope she's able to get out of this alive.

Tomoko: (to herself) There's no dragon hunters in this place and the only hunter in here...

(The camera cuts to Heather in another room drinking kombucha and relaxing)

Heather: I'm not dealing with the rest of this movie as is. I know my place when it comes to dragons, plus this isn't that good a movie and I need to save my energy for The Fox and the Hound...wait is that the next movie? It better be.

Brittany: (pokes head in room) Technically it is, but I think they're doing something else before that movie.

Heather: (closes eyes) Well then...two episodes of taking it easy isn't such a bad thing.

Brittany: Oh and Heather, about that episode…

Heather: If you're on anyone but "Team Copper", prepare to be destroyed.

Brittany: (hesitant) OK…

(The camera cuts back to Tomoko)

Taeko: (in box, worried) But...someone could still take her...

Tomoko: (to herself) I wouldn't worry too much.

Erica: So after another musical number basically about how to rip apart a dragon for medicinal purposes...

Anna: (off-screen) Du abscheulicher, ekelhafter Drache, der Freaks hasst ! Wenn ich nicht so eine Frau wäre, hätte ich euch allen etwas Schreckliches !

Quinn: (in box) Well someone doesn't like that number.

Hydie: (to herself) It's why I'm waiting and didn't do the joke of wanting to sing with this.

Erica: Terminus and Hoagy head to the lighthouse to make an offer to Pete to buy Elliot for...um..five bucks.

Kiera: (in box) And a free formula to advent puberty two years early. (giggles)

Erica: (to herself) And what does that have to do with anything?

Kiera: (in box) Maybe they have their hands on Hyde formula after all?

Tomoko: How the heck does one buy a dragon?

Taeko: (in box, folding arms seriously) They don't. Dragons are wild and free and deserve to be treated as such.

Erica: Pete declines and reveals that Elliot just...sort of appeared to him one day and that's how the two know each other.

Tomoko: And how does that even work? A dragon just pops into his life, frees him from the idiot hicks in the hills, and then carries him off to be dissected by some quack and his partner?

Taeko: (in box) Really if they want a dragon then they need to be in a horrid situation like Pete was in.

Tomoko: (to herself) That sounds more like a fairy godmother than a dragon.

Taeko: (in box) Fairy...god...dragon, then?

Quinn: (in box) They really need to give more background to Elliot if they want to treat him like an actual character and not merely a "figment of Pete's imagination". The movie just can't decide whether they want to treat Elliot like an imaginary character or as someone with a history and a world prior to and after he comes into Pete's life; I mean when we meet Elliot, he's helping Pete escape the Gogans to begin with! Sure I keep making references to Harvey with this situation, but at least when we begin that story, Harvey is treated as an imaginary character that Jimmy Stewart's character just keeps introducing people to; he thinks he's real but other people don't see him and we as the audience likewise don't see why this normal-seeming guy is just randomly trying to make people talk to a giant, invisible rabbit. It's only as the story goes on that we find out more about Harvey and we come to the potential idea that maybe he isn't insane and the rabbit may actually exist. With Elliot, the movie can't decide whether they want to treat him like an actual dragon or an imaginary dragon so they sort of just go with both and it just leads to the mess that we're in at this point.

Hydie: (to herself) But he is a real dragon.

Quinn: (in box) Except with the way he's depicted here, it's hard to have them believe that in that now even Terminus and the class has seen the silhouette of Elliot's existence...yet Nora is still on the outside and thus even more people know of Elliot's existence despite crucial members of the cast still thinking otherwise.

Erica: With Terminus and Hoagy realizing that they have to take matters into their own hands since the dragon can't be "sold" to them, the two leave just as Lampie wakes up from his nap. And it's here and seeing how happy Pete is living with them that Nora offers to let the boy live with them.

Taeko: (in box, adorably) Awww.

Tomoko: Really living with a boy that thinks a dragon exists is something I don't think too many people can stand; it's only because Lampie's nuts and Nora's got the biggest heart in existence that this even is going to work.

Erica: Well they do ask him to keep Elliot in the cave but for the most part he accepts.

Kiera: (in box) It's easier to accept that than to accept five bucks for slicing up a dragon you don't own. But I do wonder about that puberty formula...

Erica: And it's here that...

Hydie: (off-screen) Song time!

Quinn: (in box, sighing) Yeah...I guess you can go now.

Tomoko: Well the sooner we get this song over with, the sooner that...

(But then a piano starts playing solemnly)

Erica: (sighs) Oh great...it's this one.

Tomoko: (confused) This one?

Taeko: (in box) It doesn't sound that bad?

Betty: (off-screen) It depends on whether or not you can tolerate it. And to many these days...

(Hydie appears in a much more modest black-vest white-blouse outfit with black pants sitting on a bench as she begins to sing)


"YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE", from "You Light Up My Life"

Originally Written by Joseph Brooks and performed by Kasey Cisyk (vocal performer for Didi Cohn)

Hydie: (singing tenderly)

So many nights I'd sit by my window

Waiting for someone to sing me his song

So many dreams I kept deep inside me

Alone in the dark but now you've come along

And you light up my life

You give me hope to carry on

You light up my days and fill my nights with song

Rollin' at sea, adrift on the water

Could it be finally I'm turnin' for home?

Finally a chance to say "Hey, I love you"

Never again to be all alone

And you light up my life

You give me hope to carry on

You light up my days and fill my nights with song

'Cause you, you light up my life

You give me hope to carry on

You light up my days and fill my nights with song

It can't be wrong

When it feels so right

'Cause you…..you light up my life

Taeko: (in box, crying hysterically) It's...so...beautiful...

Erica: (sniffles) Hey...wait a minute...who the heck was that in the "singer" position? I mean I know Debbie Boone probably didn't do it originally but...

Betty: (off-screen) Her name was Kasey Cisyk; she was a Ukrainian singer who mostly did background and commercial work in the 1970s and 1980s as well as pop albums in her native Ukrainian. When "You Light Up My Life" was originally recorded for the 1977 movie, they had her sing in place of Didi Cohn for the film, with Cohn lip-synching to the performance due to being the lead actress. However, before the film was released, songwriter Joseph Brooks went behind her back and also offered the song to Debbie Boone, daughter of 1950s superstar Pat Boone, for her first release. Making matters worse is that the instrumental track used for the film and for Cisyk's version was used for Debbie Boone's to save on money. As monster of a hit as the Debbie Boone version came to be, Cisyk was not pleased and when her version was finally released as a single, it went no higher than #80 on the charts; and with how the film has faded into obscurity, it isn't that easy to understand and acknowledge that "You Light Up My Life" was written for a movie and that someone else sang it in the film with how ubiquitous…and infamous…Debbie Boone's version became. It's another tragedy in the world of music where one version is unjustly forgotten due to another.

Kiera: (in box) Well Hydie belted it out rather well so I don't think it's that much of a loss.

Erica: (to herself) And what does Hydie have to do with this song?

Kiera: (in box) She did well with this version, that's all I'm saying.

Betty: (off-screen) Really the only song she screwed up so far was the Bond one; my guess is the other four are so schmaltzy that Hydie can't ruin them.

Hydie: I have no idea what you're saying but I'll take it as a compliment. (giggles)

Quinn: (in box) I don't.

Erica: Back to the movie, we of course get a song number where Pete, Nora and Lampie talk about their happiness in just being together as a family while working on restoring the lighthouse. And once that's over...who so happens to show up in Passamaquoddy than...

Taeko: (in box, excited) SANTA CLAUS!

Tomoko: (to herself) And how would Santa Claus fit in this movie?

Taeko: (in box) No clue...but he would.

Erica: Yeah...the Gogans.

Kiera: (in box) But no one responded.

Erica: (to herself) Well I was expecting more of this; I can't help if no one bit.

Tomoko: Oh great, didn't we get enough of those slobs at the beginning?

Taeko: (in box) They probably had to get the most of Shelley Winters and I doubt having one song at the beginning was enough with her credit.

Erica: The musical number here...

Hydie: (off-screen) LET ME CHANGE FIRST!

Quinn: (in box) NOT YET YOU DUMMY!

Erica: ...is basically just Ma Gogan trying to prove that Pete is her property and Nora defending him for an entire song...until Elliot just literally blows them out of the water.

Kiera: (in box) Now do they believe there's a dragon?

Erica: (to herself) Nora is the most oblivious astute woman there is so obviously blowing up an entire ship of Maine hicks isn't going to be enough for her.

Kiera: (in box) She is just such a stubborn woman; what does it take for someone like her to realize a dragon exists?

Erica: (to herself) If we knew that, then there'd be no movie.

Tomoko: Would dragons just blow up ships like that? (yelling) HEY ANNA, WOULD DRAGONS BLOW UP SHIPS LIKE THAT!?

Anna: (off-screen, cutely) Not unless there was something they couldn't stand on them! (giggles)

Tomoko: That doesn't answer anything.

Taeko: (in box) Well she isn't your typical dragon.

Erica: Eventually the Gogans regroup in the local bar, where of course they come across Terminus and Hoagy. The two come to an understanding: Terminus wants the dragon, the Gogans want Pete; thus if they work together, they'll be able to get somewhere.

Tomoko: And then what?

Erica: They make mention of studding him...

Anna: (off-screen) Ich mache mit meinem Körper, was ich wünsche und ich liebe, wen ich will, ohne dass es mir jemand sagt!

Tomoko: And again, Anna shows her displeasure.

Taeko: (in box) Are you sure you shouldn't have learned German instead of English?

Tomoko: (to herself) Why would I need to learn German? Then again why would I need Portuguese...or Chinese...or Spanish...or...

Taeko: (in box, sighing) I get it, I get it.

Anna: (off-screen) Mit wem ich mich liebe, ist mir ein Anliegen, und kein dummer Idiot mit Zylinder wird mir sagen, dass ich etwas anderes tun soll.

Erica: Well if she's done complaining...

Anna: (off-screen, cutely) I am.

Erica: ...Terminus also gets the assistance of the fisherman of the town, who of course were set up in the prior scene blaming Elliot for the fish going away and under the idea of "if we capture the dragon and eliminate him, we'll regain our livelihoods and Passamaquoddy will be wealthy and successful like before".

Quinn: (in box) While this is a really problematic climax the film is working towards, I do like how everything is coming together for this ending, with Terminus knowing he has to take Elliot for himself since he can't bribe Pete, gaining the Gogan's trust to help him so they can retake their slave boy, and the whole problems with Passamaquoddy's fishing industry he manipulates in hopes of saving the town despite, obviously, Nora being right that the fish are just elsewhere now and this has nothing to do with Elliot.

Hydie: (to herself) I really hope they're able to resolve this peacefully.

Erica: Though as the night falls on Passamaquoddy, another, more pressing concern suddenly emerges at the lighthouse: a ship is coming into dock and needs their assistance to arrive in port safely. However what no one knows...well, almost no one...is that this ship carries upon it Paul, Nora's husband finally returning home after a year missing out at sea!

Quinn: (in box, frustrated) Again, this movie just rather reveal things way too quickly instead of just letting us have an actual surprise that would make it all work out in a nice, clean fashion. They should have set it up in a way where you get the line earlier that maybe Elliot has the power to find Paul and bring him back to Nora; sure it's a really stupid plot device but if you're going to say he has it, then just suggest it. Then when you get finally to this point in the movie, the movie makes the mistake that Pete immediately confirms that the ship emerging into port...during a huge storm...AT THE MOVIE'S CLIMAX, MIND YOU...is the one carrying Paul on it. If you want to build up suspense while using this stupid device during the ending, then just have it as a random ship coming into port; you don't show who is on it and you don't have any words saying Elliot knows who it is; just have the ship approaching harbor during the storm amidst the mess of everything else that happens while we have the whole situation of what happens at the lighthouse during the climax. That way, you can have multiple elements of the storm, what occurs with Elliot and Pete in town and this arriving ship allowing for tension to build with the situation at the lighthouse so we have multiple elements within the climax to build up to the end.

Hydie: (to herself) But isn't that what happens?

Quinn: (in box) Yes; but by not showing who is on the boat, then it becomes an imperative that someone is out there as the lighthouse has it's crisis and thus Lampie and Nora have to work to get it running properly so whoever is arriving can make it into Passamaquoddy's harbor safe. By showing us immediately that Paul is on the boat, that tension is removed because you know immediately what happens once the boat comes into dock.

Hydie: (to herself) You keep finding all these problems with this movie in particular.

Quinn: (in box) It's just way too evident for once; considering Disney's flawed mentality in this late 1970s of "it's for kids so who cares" just ends up making them not think of ways to make something that can be interesting and suspenseful. Even kids can take in suspense and interesting stories; but I guess it takes until the 1980s and other studios to realize that.

Hydie: (to herself, excited) LIKE THE GOONIES!

Quinn: (in box) You know considering they were both released in 1985, I'm surprised no one ever did a cross-over image of The Black Cauldron and The Goonies...I'd get a copy if it were ever done.

Erica: So we have a ship arriving in harbor and a storm brewing...but again as mentioned, this is also as Terminus is setting up a huge trap in a warehouse for Elliot to try and make the dragon his own. But of course there remains the crucial final element of it all.

Tomoko: A female dragon? I mean they did want to stud Elliot.

Taeko: (in box) Um…I don't think they show any other dragons than Elliot.

Tomoko: (to herself) What would a female dragon even look like anyway?

Taeko: (in box) Barring upcoming potential movies, I don't think they ever will show a female dragon with this studio…other than Maleficent…or Madame Mim…

Tomoko: (to herself) Why can't there be more female dragons like what we hang around and not like them, though?

Taeko: (in box) Because our creator has a weird sense of humor? (blushes)

Erica: Terminus has to set up everything for it to happen how he wants to, so he decides to lure Pete to the warehouse, all while he uses Hoagy…

Tomoko: No, no no no no no. We're not using that loser for Elliot duty!

Erica: But that's who they end up using.

Tomoko: Not after what a failure he and Lampie have been with dealing with that dragon. Sure Pete and Elliot's relationship is saccharine but it works; but those two drunks dealing with that dragon just leads to more problems. For all we know, they just are going to get Elliot filled up with alcohol again and the whole town's going to be burned down and I don't think that's going to help Pete's cause.

Taeko: (in box) I can't believe you're defending Elliot. (blushes) You do like dragons, do you?

Tomoko: (to herself) Again, it's more because the stupidity of the two drunks being the only other ones aside from Pete that knows Elliot's around.

Erica: So for the most part, that's just what happens: Hoagy goes to the cave claiming he's "Elliot's friend" and that he has to go to help out Pete, which leads the dragon to follow.

Kiera: (in box) Seriously, the dragon has all these magical powers but he doesn't have a means to tell whether or not Hoagy's telling the truth?

Erica: (to herself) Well we can't make the dragon a god, can we?

Kiera: (in box) I suppose the only means a dragon can tell the truth or not is whether or not someone's burnt to a crisp by it's flames.

Erica: And it goes how you'd think: Elliot is lured into the warehouse where the trap is sprung and there's this huge dragon silhouette in the middle of the room, all while Pete comes seeing his partner in danger…all as the Gogans decide to reclaim their "property" and make Pete their own again!

Kiera: (in box) And this is why people of Maine are savages.

Erica: (to herself) More or less I suppose.

Kiera: (in box, posing seductively) We across the St. Croix are way more civilized, eh. (strap falls down)

Erica: (to herself) You call that civilized?

Tomoko: So Pete's captured and Elliot's captured. OK, I guess…depressing ending?

Taeko: (in box) Tomoko, don't say that!

Erica: Obviously not; in fact…we get multiple endings at this point and it sort of gets more implausible by the moment.

Tomoko: I figured that.

Erica: Firstly, with Elliot captured and Pete prepared to be shipped back to the Gogans, we have Pete yelling for his life all while Terminus prepares to harpoon the dragon and thus make it his own. We sort of get maybe Hoagy being a bit hesitant about it but…he still falls in line and helps his master.

Quinn: (in box) It's one of those things in this climax I find really confusing honestly: Hoagy's whole position amidst the whole final confrontation with Elliot. Considering the drunk is one of the earlier characters to know Elliot exists due to his excursion with Lampie and his own cowardice, you'd think maybe he'd had a bit more sympathy, especially considering Pete's situation and the factor that he really isn't completely into everything Terminus wants. Yet…even when he on some occasions tries to stop the harpoon, he immediately goes back in line, really showing Hoagy in the end is a coward who can't even stand up to his master for long. It's no wonder when Terminus goes down, he goes down with him.

Hydie: (to herself) It would have been nice to maybe see Hoagy change; maybe be a bit like that guy in The Muppet Movie.

Quinn: (in box) Austin Pendelton is one of the best things of that movie among the humans; and maybe since this movie came out two years earlier, the writers of that worked stronger to make Max more sympathetic compared to…well…Hoagy. Maybe I'd say the same thing about Snoops last time since I couldn't review it on screen: just as cowardly towards Madame Medusa, just as easy to potentially gain a conscious, but no spine to do so.

Erica: Of course it's at this point that Elliot finally breaks free and works to save Pete, scaring away everyone in the process. And when Terminus prepares to use the harpoon, Hoagy doesn't tell him he snagged his foot in the rope and…well there they go.

Kiera: (in box) And good riddance.

Tomoko: Do you think Hoagy did it on purpose? I mean maybe he wanted to save Elliot after all?

Erica: Considering things, it doesn't seem likely. He still probably has some sympathies for the better welfare of his partner, but Hoagy is still pro-Terminus to the end.

Kiera: (in box) And who wouldn't be with that facial hair? (giggles)

Erica: Terminus does try one more time to at least get any remnants of dragon from Elliot like shed scales or hairs, but he just scares him away and the two idiots leave Passamaquoddy never to be seen again.

Tomoko: They didn't want to be there anyway.

Taeko: (in box) I suppose not but seriously considering they just wanted sheddings, they at least were trying to be reasonable at the end.

Tomoko: (to herself) I doubt any of them would have any power anyway.

Taeko: (in box) True.

Erica: In the second resolution, the Gogans once again try to prove they have their "bill of sale" and thus the right to keep Pete as their property. Elliott burns it up and they just leave too.

Taeko: (in box) But then why the heck didn't Elliot do that while Pete was stuck living there?

Tomoko: (to herself) Priorities of running away I suppose, plus the idiots didn't seem to display it as prominently until the kid started living with that lighthouse.

Taeko: (in box) I suppose when you have too many other worries, burning up the means that prevented Pete from being free to begin with doesn't come to mind.

Quinn: (in box) That whole "child slavery" plot was stupid to begin with.

Hydie: (to herself) If you want to do Cinderella right, don't use slavery of that sort.

Quinn: (in box) Right…wait, what?

Erica: Oh and then we get a third climax, where out of nowhere Elliot saves the mayor from a falling electric pole!

Tomoko: Um…why? How? What?

Quinn: (in box) I think the only reason they had Elliot save the mayor of Passamaquoddy was to improve town and go…er, dragon…relations. But it makes no sense in that the relations between Elliot and the town varied from person to person: sure you had those like the kids who didn't seem to mind even if they couldn't see him, then you have the jerks in the previous scene who blamed Elliot for the loss of their fishing industry, and the rest sort of varied on how well they took a dragon accidentally wrecking everything in town inadvertently. They want to try and tie up everything in a tight bow for the ending we get, but not everyone has the same experience with Elliot; heck most people don't even realize a dragon exists and some are probably still blaming Pete for everything!

Hydie: (to herself) And how does saving the mayor even help anything?

Quinn: (in box) Really it doesn't. Remember the opening scene and everything Elliot was doing in town that they all blamed on Pete? No one even figured out it was a dragon until Lampie but he was drunk at the time and all it did was start a song and dance number in the bar. And for the most part the only other time Elliot was even in the town up until this climax was when he wrecked the schoolhouse, and that was one part curiosity and one part defending Pete from the wrath of the schoolmaster.

Hydie: (to herself) What about knocking away the Gogans' boat?

Quinn: (in box, sighs): Yeah, he did that too I suppose. If anything, there are quite a few means by which Elliot needs to prostrate and improve himself before he is fully forgiven, such as with those whom he wrecked the wares for and the schoolmaster.

Hydie: (to herself) But she was whipping Pete's knuckles!

Quinn: (in box) I highly doubt just saving the mayor's going to win her though.

Erica: And of course with all that having happened, there's still the last part of the climax: the boat arriving in the harbor which, thanks to spoilers, we know is Paul.

Kiera: (in box) Why the heck can't they keep that a surprise?

Erica: In the midst of the storm blowing across the town, the fierce winds and roaring rains break their way into the lighthouse and, without warning, blow out the light, making it hard for the ship to come into harbor.

Tomoko: Well maybe they'll hit some rocks and they won't be any further problem.

Taeko: (in box, upset) Tomoko!

Tomoko: What; things are just getting way too happy in this conclusion.

Erica: Of course, coming to the rescue of Lampie and Nora is, one more time, Elliot.

Tomoko, Kiera and Quinn: (in unison) Of course it is.

Taeko: (in box) I don't mind.

Erica: Sure there's a bit of a tight squeeze regarding the dragon and the small lighthouse hole, but he eventually does and by this point even Nora finally believes in the dragon seeing him save someone…though somehow not realizing it is Paul yet.

Tomoko: Crisis does make bedfellows of people…and dragons…I think…

Taeko: (in box, smiles sweetly)

Erica: And this, finally, leads us to our…

Hydie: (off-screen) Hold on, I have one more song to sing!

Tomoko: (sighs) Do we have to?

Betty: (off-screen) That was the promise for the episode, you know.

Tomoko: Better make it quick.

Taeko: (in box) I believe in you, Hydie!

(Hydie appears as if a grown-up Penny with her hair in pigtail ribbons, holding Meiko in her arms as she starts to sing)


"SOMEONE'S WAITING FOR YOU" from "The Rescuers"

Originally written by Carol Connors, Ayn Robbins & Sammy Fain and performed by Shelby Flint

Hydie: (singing, slightly off-key)

Be brave, little one
Make a wish for each sad little tear
Hold your head up though no one is near
Someone's waiting for you

Don't cry, little one
There'll be a smile where a frown use to be
You'll be part of the love that you see
Someone's waiting for you

Always keep a little prayer in your pocket
And you're sure to see the light
Soon there'll be joy and happiness
And your little world will be bright

Have faith, little one
'Til your hopes and your wishes come true
You must try to be brave, little one
Someone's waiting to love you

Erica: I…don't think she nailed it.

Kiera: (in box) I think she put too much effort into those other songs that she didn't stick the landing.

Hydie: Well…it wasn't that bad, was it?

Taeko: (in box) It was fine, Hydie, you did well.

Tomoko: As long as it means we're at the end of the review.

Hydie: I'll still give my opinion so don't worry about that. (giggles)

Brittany: (off-screen) Just don't forget to give Meiko back to me.

Heather: (off-screen) And while you're here, don't forget to sign up for Team Copper; we need all the help we can get.

Quinn: (in box) Yeah…I may as well. Hydie, you heard her.

Hydie: (to herself) Can't we be neutral in that episode?

Quinn: (in box) Trust me. There's a war brewing and we need to choose sides…that and I prefer Copper to Tod but I have my reasons.

Hydie: (as she leaves) Can't we support both?

Tomoko: Team Copper? What is that even about?

Taeko: (in box, suddenly wearing fox ears and with a little Tod plushie) I may as well make my allegiance known now. Sorry Quinn, sorry Hydie.

Tomoko: (to herself) Wait, what's going on?

Taeko: (in box) Well it isn't for next time…but it is coming.

Tomoko: (to herself) I am so lost.

Erica: Well ignoring plot build-up for the future…

Kiera: (in box) That reminds me; do you think we can go shopping for Jessica's dress in the near future?

Erica: (to herself) Um…Jessica?

Kiera: (in box) Future plot build-up. We still have a few movies before Jessica.

Erica: The movie basically is in final resolution time after the storm blows over: the fish return to Passamaquoddy and people realize that Elliot wasn't being them leaving, the town celebrates the dragon and all he did to save them from…well, nothing really.

Tomoko: What about that electric pole?

Taeko: (in box) That saved the mayor, there are probably still other issues, but they probably just forgave him on the spot.

Erica: Paul and Nora reunite and we get an explanation regarding what happened…

Quinn: (in box, sighs) It's a really stupid reveal too: he was found unconscious on Cape Hatteras where he was just an amnesiac for a year, then suddenly Elliot's vision appeared before him, he regained his memory and happened to return to Passamaquoddy when he did.

Hydie: (to herself) How convenient.

Erica: And most importantly, Pete finally is living happily ever after with his new family. Or…he would if Elliot would stick around.

Tomoko: Wait what?

Erica: Apparently, the idea of Pete having a dragon was somehow only until his situation improved to the point where Elliot would no longer be needed. And now Pete is happy and living with a family happily from here on out, Elliot has to go to another child in trouble.

Quinn: (in box, sighing) Yep, the Mary Poppins ending: my work here is done so I have to leave.

Hydie: (to herself) Well it works out since the problems are resolved.

Quinn: (in box) But it's just way too similar to Mary Poppins for it to work, especially considering the whole idea that they spend most of the movie treating Elliot like an imaginary friend and now he remembers he's this sort of character. So yeah, he leaves, Pete's happy, the end.

Hydie: (to herself) Can't you just let them say that?

Erica: So…yeah, they make their goodbyes, Pete reminds Elliot to remain invisible and then heads off to have another "brazzle dazzle day" in Passamaquoddy.

Anna: (cries, boobhats Tomoko again) It's such a sad ending…but such is the trials of a dragon. We never seem to stick around.

Tomoko: Um…you constantly stick around with us you know.

Anna: (lovingly) Because I know my place with all of you.

Taeko: (in box) I do wonder when Anna will have to leave though.

Tomoko: (to herself) Considering her dragon maid status, probably never.

Erica: I suppose we can talk music now…

Betty: (entering the room) That's where I come in. The songs for Pete's Dragon were written by Al Kasha and Joel Hirschhorn, with the duo nominated not just for Best Song but also "Best Scoring", which is slightly different from "Best Score" and was mostly given for musical films at the time; it lost to the adaptation of Stephen Sondheim's A Little Night Music. Kasha and Hirschhorn were most notable for writing the themes for two Irwin Allen disaster movies which both won Oscars: in 1972 for "The Morning After" from The Poseidon Adventure, and in 1974 for "We May Never Love Like This Again" from The Towering Inferno. The funny thing is both those movies had scores written by some "John Williams" guy.

Tomoko: Can we skip that Williams guy and just get to the songs? (frustrated) I'm still upset after last time, you know.

Betty: Fine. The first of the songs is "The Happiest Home in These Hills"…

Tomoko: The song where we find out that the idiot Gogan clan are cannibals aside from being slave drivers.

Erica: It doesn't help your movie when you start it with a song that basically involves cannibalism.

Kiera: (in box) I swear this is meant to be a villain song…but then that would mean the Gogans have two of them…and Terminus has two of them…really, the animated villains could learn something if so many villain songs can exist in one movie.

Betty: Next is…um…"Boo Bop BopBop Bop (I Love You Too)", which is the song where we find out about the relationship between Pete and Elliot.

Erica: That song disturbs me.

Tomoko: Is it supposed to be sweet?

Betty: The funny thing is that with Elliot's presence in the Disney parks' big "Main Street Electrical Parade", this song ended up being the theme heard during it.

Tomoko: But does anyone know what they're even saying?

Anna: (cutely) I love you too, Tomoko.

Tomoko: (upset) I mean aside from that?

Taeko: (in box) I think that's what she means.

Betty: Next is "I Saw a Dragon", which is initially used by Lampie to sort of just make drunken claims about Elliot when its first used and for Nora to try and calm the idiot down.

Kiera: (in box) I swear everyone was drunk all movie considering how much of this was about people drinking and seeing dragons while drinking.

Erica: (to herself) And seeing dragons when not drinking.

Kiera: (in box) And seeing dragons in general. And when the heck are we going to get our own dragon?

Erica: (to herself) it isn't that big a priority.

Kiera: (in box) But Tomoko has a dragon and Quinn…claims…she has a dragon…

Erica: (to herself) Let's not push it.

Betty: Next is "It's Not Easy", the song where Pete tries to tell Nora about Elliot but of course with the trauma Pete is coming from and the idea that everyone thinks Elliot is a figment of his imagination, it isn't like it goes anywhere.

Tomoko: It's like her father said: Nora's probably the most delusional one of the town and she is the only one that doesn't realize it.

Taeko: (in box) It's strange when the one waiting for her husband to come home is more delusional than the boy with the dragon.

Betty: Next is "Passamaquoddy", Doctor Terminus' first song…and it's basically just "With a Flair" from Bedknobs and Broomsticks with a villain instead of just an idiot fraud as we got with Professor Browne.

Kiera: (in box) With a lot of mispronunciations.

Erica: (to herself) It's sort of a thing for him I noticed; he never got the name of the town right once the entire movie.

Betty: Oh and with Hoagy getting in the way to sucker the people into buying stuff.

Tomoko: He's such a wimp in the end.

Taeko: (in box, cuddling Tod plushie) But it's probably what makes his character…wait did it work?

Betty: And then…well…

Hydie: (excited, back in Nora's outfit) My song, "Candle on the Water"!

Betty: The song was obviously written for Helen Reddy being that she was the big pop star in this film.

Erica: Not as great as other Helen Reddy songs though.

Kiera: (in box) I prefer "I Am Woman" preferably.

Erica: (to herself) I rather have "Angie Baby"; "Ruby Red Dress" is a distant second but not bad either.

Quinn: (in box) Really, I get it was nominated for an Oscar, but they didn't even try considering how similar it sounded to "The Morning After". Was the Oscar committee deaf thinking they could just nominate them on name alone and the fact they got Helen Reddy to sing it?

Hydie: (to herself) But I still think I did a good performance of it.

Quinn: (in box) Because you practiced it. Wait…when did you have time to practice that considering your obsession with the Slipper and the Rose song?

Hydie: (to herself, giggling) I have my ways.

Quinn: (in box) Your "ways" didn't save the Rescuers song though.

Betty: Next is "There's Room For Everyone", a song basically where Nora disrupts the school day of the town to prove there's room for everyone on this planet, including a dragon…

Tomoko: (squirming under Anna's boobs) Despite her being the one making the big deal that the dragon doesn't exists and playing around with Pete on that issue.

Quinn: (in box) It's just such a ridiculous element: why the heck do they have to go through all this with Nora when we know Pete knows of Elliot, as does Lampie, as does Hoagy? And by the end of the stupid schoolteacher sequence, more know of Elliot including Doctor Terminus himself…the guy you don't want known that a dragon exists!

Betty: Then there's "Every Little Piece", the "legitimate villain song" for Terminus…

Erica: What about "Passamaquoddy"?

Kiera: (in box) We did identify prior both can count as the villain song.

Betty: And of course that song is basically about how much Terminus and Hoagy want to chop Elliot up into pieces to turn into medicinal goods. In other words, it's like if they gave a song to Clayton from Tarzan about how much he wants to grind up rhino horns for powder or do whatever to gorillas.

Hydie: That sounds terrible!

Quinn: (in box) And now we're all happy that they got Phil Collins to sing background instead of giving a song to Clayton.

Hydie: (to herself) Does this mean Terminus is a legitimate Disney villain?

Quinn: (in box) Hard to say. With this a combo live-action/animated film, you could place some similarities and allow for Terminus to be a Disney Villain, especially since he has a song…but I think he'll probably be alongside others from hybrid films of "there's too much live action to make them count"; same goes for Judge Doom from Who Framed Roger Rabbit or Narissa from Enchanted.

Hydie: (to herself) And how does this song fit in to the musical evolution?

Quinn: (in box) Despite it's "delightful diddy" feel, "Every Little Piece" is rather close to a modern Disney villain song; rather close in "things they desire to do that's dastardly" akin to "Mine, Mine, Mine" by Radcliffe in Pocahontas or…(sighs) I don't want to say it…

Hydie: (to herself) You brought it up.

Quinn: (under breath)…."Love is an Open Door" from Frozen. (out loud) Now don't ask me again.

Hydie: (to herself, squees)

Quinn: (in box, face-palming) And this is why I didn't want to mention it. At least once we get to Frozen we can talk about the weird usage of villain songs there…

Hydie: (to herself, excited) Oh we have so much to talk about with Frozen!

Quinn: (in box, still face-palming) I started her up again…thank goodness we're taking a break from this project soon so she can calm down.

Betty: After that is "Brazzle Dazzle Day", the big song where of course Pete, Nora and Lampie all celebrate Pete joining the "family"; it's just another way of saying it's a "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah Day" but considering how controversial that's become…

Tomoko: I don't think there's anything controversial about a Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah Day; even with all of Imani's talk.

Taeko: (in box) Didn't you learn anything from the Song of the South review?

Tomoko: (to herself) Mostly just give Africans respect but otherwise….

Betty: The last song of note is "Bill of Sale", which is more Gogan nonsense with them and Nora fighting over Pete's fate with the clan claiming he's their property.

Anna: Until the dragon decides otherwise.

Tomoko: The dragon does tend to decide everything in this movie.

Taeko: (in box) Moral of the movie: Never mess with a dragon.

Betty: After that we just get some reprises for both "I Saw a Dragon" and "Brazzle Dazzle Day" at the end but…that's basically it.

Tomoko: And about time too…(to Anna) Um…can you get up so I can do my final review?

Anna: I've gotten too comfortable here. (giggles)

Betty: Fine, I'll get the drinks while you and Quinn make your final thoughts.

Erica: What about me, eh? I was the main commenter!

Kiera: (in box) You were the replacement Quinn.

Erica: But I still reviewed the movie so don't I get a say…really the only thing I want to say is it should have occurred in New Brunswick but otherwise it's not that good a movie.

Kiera: (in box) Fair enough. (giggles)


Quinn: (in box) The problem with having a legacy is that not only is it constantly looms over you and makes it impossible to live up to said legacy, especially if you keep trying to make movies to match or surpass the legacy's lasting impact. Mary Poppins was the standard for live-action Disney movies with animated content added in, and there seemed to be an obsession to make films similar to the Julie Andrews classic whenever the studio tried and tried again. In 1977, the same year as two other animated features including a compilation (The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh) and an actual animated film (The Rescuers), Disney decided to release a third film with such content around the holidays: that film was Pete's Dragon, based on a story concept by Seton I. Miller and originally meant for the studio's "Disneyland" anthology but kept around until it was made to be another attempt at the next Mary Poppins. Unfortunately, the film itself turned out to be a major mess in not really knowing or understanding what it was doing due to defining rules and then screwing around with them while with rather over-the-top characters and not really memorable songs. In short, the film is about a literal slave boy in turn of 20th century Maine named Pete on the run from a family of hicks; he's able to escape them due to literally having a dragon on his side, the "dragon" of the title whose name is Elliot. Pete uses his newfound freedom and the help of Elliot to find a family, becoming tied to a lighthouse keeper and her drunk father who claims he sees the dragon while his daughter, who is the main caretaker, puts up with it due to thinking Pete has an overactive imagination. The film's biggest problem is that the story wants to treat it like Elliot is an "imaginary friend" that Pete believes in whom causes a lot of problems in the town and whom you have to question whether or not he exists, as if a children's version of the classic film Harvey. The problem is that while that approach of trying to make one wonder if a dragon exists would have worked with maybe a big reveal that Elliot is real in the climax, it's ruined due to the idea by animator Ken Anderson to actually have Elliot as an interacting character that people can see; while it was probably intended to make it easier for younger audiences (and the animation by Don Bluth works wonders just before he broke away from Disney due to it's childish decisions in this period), it ruins the questionability of who can and can't see Elliot and the idea of Pete being possibly crazy but not due to his connection, ruining the suspense of what could happen and instead just making any interaction with Elliot all the more silly. It's made even goofier with the main villains of this work: a quack by the name of Doctor Terminus (and his partner Hoagy) who eventually wants to slice up Elliot into pieces as part of his means to continue to fleece the populace. And then there's Nora, the woman in charge of the lighthouse who we start to believe is the real "unbelievable dreamer" of the town due to her obsession that her husband is still alive despite being lost at sea for over a year, which leads to a supremely ridiculous climax that could have worked but doesn't due to how it just feels like it wants to make everyone good happy and cause misery to anyone evil. The film's biggest shame is that several notable and good actors were involved in this ridiculous story making the most of the situation, including Mickey Rooney, Jim Dale, Red Buttons and Shelley Winters; as well as 1970s pop singer Helen Reddy mostly there for attempting to bring an established singer into the cast. Most of the songs aren't that memorable either; written by Al Kasha and Joel Hirschhorn, whom were most notable for Oscar-winning theme songs to multiple Irwin Allen disaster flicks like The Poseidon Adventure and The Towering Inferno, it's hard to say that any of them really stick around very long or are that notable within the Disney canon of songs. Probably the most notable is the Oscar-nominated "Candle On the Water", Reddy's big solo number that basically is just a reskinned "The Morning After" and with more religious symbolism than actual Oscar winner "You Light Up My Life" from…You Light Up My Life; some of the more energetic songs like the sea-chanty-esque "I Saw a Dragon" and the happy-go-lucky "Brazzle Dazzle Day" fare better; while some could probably consider Doctor Terminus' "Every Little Piece" as a guilty pleasure being a delightful little romp about ripping a dragon to pieces for quack medicinal cures. (not mine though) In the end, Pete's Dragon is just a terrible, confusing mess that wants to be taken seriously but is just a kids movie with an animated dragon for kids to watch and marvel over while crashing both Mary Poppins and Bedknobs and Broomsticks together for what tries to be a plot that gets too sappy and obvious with it's depiction.

Hydie: I like Elliot; I know Quinn wants to hate everything about this movie but Elliot isn't that bad for a dragon and really one of the most entertaining things about what's going on whether or not he's supposed to be visible. Pete was a bit too milquetoast for my taste, though I did like the acting for both Lampie and Hoagy; though Hoagy should have chosen the right side at the end instead of just sticking with that nutty Doctor Terminus who wanted to rip dragons apart. And if I were offered to play tic-tac-toe on a dragon's belly, I'd obviously take it.

Tomoko: Yeah…this was a tough one to get through. It's impossible to know who knows of the dragon and who doesn't know of the dragon or whose side anyone is even on here. The dragon is barely comprehensible speaking dragon gibberish and Pete is just too much of a softie; I don't mind Nora though and when he isn't being a coward, Hoagy isn't a bad character either. But you can keep both those disgusting cannibals the Gogans or Doctor Terminus away.

Taeko: (in box) Why would we even have cannibals as villains in a Disney movie? When you start a movie about a clan of humans who want to eat a boy, you basically ruin everything about it regardless of anything else that shows up for the rest of the film! Sure it probably explains why Elliot appeared to Pete, but it's like after "The Happiest Home in These Hills", a song which no one wanted to talk about other than me, I couldn't really trust anything else in this movie. Can't we leave cannibalism to the horror genre instead of this…I mean sure I know there are fairy tales with witches who want to eat children but that's different from actual people eating people! As for anything else…um…well…I was so obsessed in getting out my "cannibalism is bad" rant that…well…(blushes)…I do like Nora? And Elliot's a nice dragon?

Hydie: (cutely) Well you heard the nominees, so I think its finally time to decide.

Tomoko: Um…decide what?

Hydie: (giggles) Silly; the best song of a motion picture in 1977!

Tomoko: Oh yeah…that's what you were doing all episode.

Taeko: (in box) Weren't you paying attention to anything Hydie was doing?

Quinn: (in box) Seriously, does anyone care about these five songs now…then again did anyone care about these songs then?

(Betty arrives with a tray with some "champagne" (ginger ale in champagne glasses) and an envelope sealed with a red stamp)

Betty: Well I have my envelope right here of the best song, so I know who one personally.

Erica: Wait, weren't you going to poll the rest of us?

Kiera: (in box) It would have made sense.

Betty: Nonsense; this is the winner so just let me announce it.

Hydie: OK, bosswoman; you're the one in charge.

Tomoko: Is anyone going to announce what the nominees were again?

Hydie: (excited) Ooh, ooh, I will, I will!

Quinn: (in box) The world is not ready for this…or anything really.

Hydie: (cutely) The nominees, once again, are: "Song from Spy Movie", "Song from Dragon Movie", "Song from Mouse Movie", "Huge #1 Pop Hit" and (turns supremely cute) "He Danced With Me!"


Hydie: (to herself) To me it's the only one that matters.

Erica: (sighs) "Nobody Does It Better", "Candle on the Water", "Someone's Waiting For You", "You Light Up My Life" and "He Danced With Me", to translate what Hydie just said for people not following along.

Hydie: I like my names better.

Betty: And the winner is…

(Everyone starts hitting the tables like a drumroll as Betty takes a knife, opens it up and opens the envelope)

Betty: "Carry On Wayward Son" from Heroes.

(There's a dead silence)

Erica: Um…Betty…that wasn't written for a movie.

Betty: I know. It's from Kansas' "Leftoverture" album, but it's easily better than anything else released that year.

Hydie: (upset) But…what about…

Betty: OK, if I were to give it to a song actually written for a movie…maybe one of the Saturday Night Fever songs? "How Deep Is Your Love", " Stayin' Alive", "Night Fever", take your pick.

Hydie: (sobbing) All…that hard work…and none of them won!?

Quinn: (in box, shakes head) Betty's café, so Betty's rules…I presume.

Kiera: (in box) Well this was a waste of time.

Tomoko: Hey, I actually like "How Deep Is Your Love"! Mind if I sing that?

Quinn: (in box) Please spare us.

Betty: Pleasure.

(She turns on a radio and the music starts playing)

Hydie: (sobbing) But…what about….

Quinn: (in box) You should have figured that this was going to be the conclusion, Hydie. I mean, that's what usually happens to Oscar songs: most just get forgotten over time and we need stupid things like this to remind us they exist. Outside true classics, they're about as disposable as most media; not every song nominated is the next "Over the Rainbow" or "When You Wish Upon a Star".

Tomoko: ("singing")

I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again

Brittany: So, who won?

Erica: Betty.

Kiera: (in box) More or less.

Tomoko: ("singing")

And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love then you softly leave
And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love

Taeko: (in box) She could have at least let me sing it.

Hydie: (upset) Can't I sing that too?

Quinn: (in box, sighs) I think you've done enough singing for one episode. With that said, we'll see you next time when Tomoko and I…

Hydie: (to herself) I'm doing next time too.

Quinn: (in box) …er, and Hydie…go back inside…the Disney Vault.

Tomoko: ("singing")
How deep is your love,
How deep is your love
I really mean to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

Betty: Maybe I should have let something else win? I also do like the theme from The Goodbye Girl.

Quinn: (in box, upset) OH, YOU THINK!?

Erica: At least I finally got to host an episode.

Kiera: (in box) It really tempered you.

Erica: (to herself) But I think I've had enough for the moment.



23/58 complete.

(Closing Credits: Tomoko's continued caterwauling of "How Deep Is Your Love" by the Bee Gees)


Detour #6 (Act 23.5): Pete's Dragon

There really aren't any "hills" in that area of Eastern Maine, so where exactly did the Gogans live? Sure there's plenty of untouched forests, but how the heck are they "hills"?

Really a good chunk of this movie could have been avoided if Doctor Terminus didn't decide "yeah, those idiots in Passamaquoddy hate me, but I'm still selling my stuff to them regardless!" Sure there wouldn't be much of a plot but if people hate you, isn't that enough of an excuse to keep going to the next town?


From HLT Entertainment

A StrangerAtaru Company

(Music starts playing one more time as Hydie appears, this time wearing a very modern late 1970s outfit, as she prepares to sing one more time)

"GOODBYE GIRL" from "The Goodbye Girl"

Originally written and performed by David Gates

Hydie: (singing):

All your life you've waited for love to
Come and stay
And now that I have found you, you must
Not slip away
I know it's hard believin' the words you've
Heard before
But darlin' you must trust them just once
More, 'cause baby

Goodbye doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean
We'll never be together again
If you wake up and I'm not there, I won't
Be long away
'Cause the things you do my Goodbye Girl
Will bring me back to you.

I know you've been taken, afraid to hurt
You fight the love you feel for me instead
Of givin' in
But I can wait forever, a-helpin' you to see
That I was

I know you've been taken, afraid to hurt
You fight the love you feel for me instead
Of givin' in
But I can wait forever, a-helpin' you to see
That I was meant for you and you for me so remember

Goodbye doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean
We'll never be together again
Though we may be so far apart you still
Will have my heart
So forget your past my Goodbye Girl
'Cause now you're home at last.

(Betty is seen sitting sipping on a "champagne glass" as she listens in)

Betty: Should it have won? Probably not. But it's a dang good song regardless so a Golden Globe nomination wasn't really enough for it.


(The camera cuts to a black room, a sliver of light appears with Quinn standing there dressed in black as she speaks as music plays)

Quinn: (foreboding)

The dreamer, the unwoken fool,
In dreams, no pain will kiss the brow.
The love of ages fills the head.
The days that linger there in prey of emptiness,
Of burned out dreams.
The minutes calling through the years.
The universal dreamer rises up above his earthly burden.
Journey to the dead of night.
High on a hill in Eldorado.



Hydie: What does that have to do with the next movie?

Quinn: More than you imagine; if we're doing this, we're doing this right.