Fake News Reports!

Prince Andrew Has Ignored All Requests From America's FBI For An Interview Concerning His Involvement With Jeffrey Epstein's Alleged Child Sex Trafficking Ring!

"Wouldn't you?" the happy-he's-a-British-citizen said.

I'm not saying my ex is a floozy, but the airlines let her fly for free because she's been classified as a Service Animal.

When I go to the doctor, I don't sit in a Waiting Room...

I sit in an I'm-Still-Waiting Room.

Whatever I do in life I always give 110%.

Why do I say that?

Because I'm bad at math.

Technology is slowly filling with artificial intelligence.

If there's any left over, they should give it to Congress.

If you're on a diet, keep this in mind:

Chewing gum alleviates hunger.

Chewing bacon alleviates it even more.

Scientists tell us that 85% of the universe is made up of Dark Matter, but they don't know what it is.

I do.

If it's the most abundant thing in the cosmos, it must be stupidity.

Light travels faster than sound.

That's why some people seem so much brighter before they begin to talk.

In Thursday's Press Conferences, Jennifer Lopez & Shakira Promise The World An "Empowering" Super Bowl Halftime Show!

So, ladies, what's it like for you two Latina superstars to finally be performing together?

"We're not talking to each other," they said.

Did The President ATTACK Don Lemon For Mocking Trump Supporters?

Or was President Trump DEFENDING his supporters from an attacking Don Lemon?

"I don't know, but can we use it for another impeachment?" Democrats wonder.