Fake News Reports!

The economy is so bad with this COVID-19 pandemic that I went to Five Guys for a burger, and now they're down to Two Guys.

People are so afraid of the Coronavirus that In-N-Out Burger has changed their name to Get Out.

Bloomberg Opinion Opines That The United States Isn't Ready For "Wars Of The Future"!

Um, would that be because we're not living in the future yet?

In A Move Away From China, Apple Begins Making Their iPhone 11 In Southern India!

"We like to spread our slave labor around," a spokesman explained magnanimously.

The Former Prince Harry And His Wife Meghan Are Suing Over Photos Allegedly Taken Of Their Son!

"We could use the money," a sheepish Harry explains.

Less Than A Hundred Days Until The Election And Presidential Wannabe Joe Biden Continues To Mull Over His Prospects For Vice-President!

"I am so screwed," he laments.

Dr. Anthony Fauci Has Gotten A Security Detail Assigned To Him Due To The Recent Death Threats He's Received!

C'mom, his first pitch wasn't that bad.

Oregon Governor Kate Brown Announces That Federal Troops Will Portland, Oregon...

"...eventually."

Former Indiana Governor Joe Kernan, Who Was A Vietnam Prisoner Of War, Has Died At The Age Of 74!"

Was he, um... you know?

No.

Then we're not interested.

Bill Gates On COVID-19 Testing & Schools Reopening:

"01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111?"