Coward

.

You had thought I was a dream

But when the nightmare appeared

You left me all alone to scream,

Abandoned, just as I have feared.

.

I hid too long, wore a mask,

To spare you of the dark within,

But I broke, failed my task,

Inadequacy is my sin.

.

I let you see me insecure,

Vulnerable and weak,

However, you could not endure

My hollow thoughts, cold and bleak.

.

You took the easy way out,

Let my demons haunt me;

I won't follow, have no doubt,

Won't go where you don't want me.

.

I shouldn't blame you, and yet still

I resent you this betrayal;

Like Sisyphus, I climb a hill,

Every day, alone and frail.

What's the point? Each time I stepped

further up this cursed path,

I took two back, the stone has kept

Pushing back my tears and wrath.

.

You know what? Good.

I'm glad you're gone.

You never really understood

The song of a black swan.

.

It's my burden, and my mission,

Even if there is no point,

I'd rather have my obsession

Than to fail and disappoint.

.

.

02.02.2020.

(for A.)