I wonder why people long for things they have not yet tasted?
And at the same time, I do not understand why people despise the unknown.
But, I, too, fall prey to this trap set by the standards of society,
and have indeed backed myself into a caged corner.
Shakily, in a crazed and weakened state,
I can feel my heart and soul tremble with every time that our eyes meet.
But even beyond that, I can feel the guilt that creeps up behind me, telling me that this is all so wrong.
And past even that, I feel the fear of not knowing what is to come,
the fear of hurting myself,
the fear of hurting you.
An automatic, systemic program runs through my mind,
and is filtered through the proxy of my limited understanding.
It whispers in my ear,
"you are not ready".
It grabs me by the throat and hangs me upside-down.
I myself become muddled amidst these swarms of thoughts,
and as I try to pave a cohesive path back to you,
I end up getting lost among my own footsteps.
In the end, I can't help but question if I want you, or the idea of you,
and in the end, I can't help but question my own self's desire.
I stay locked away in this caged corner,
barely holding my own hand back from reaching out.
As I try to tear my eyes unsuccessfully from watching your every move,
I feel the faint echoes of a cry that resound within my whole.
Even if I'm scared,
even if I know that it's wrong,
and even if I know that nothing good will come out of it in the end,
I still want you.