With that, he immediately pursued the president as the two made their way up a flight of stairs, only for Gonzalez to chuck a Molotov cocktail behind him, igniting the carpet in flames. Jasper wasn't hurt by this, but it did send him tumbling back down the steps, where his friends both old and new had caught up with him.
"We can't let him get away," he proclaimed.
The group eventually managed to chase Gonzalez through the fire and all the way up to the roof, where he could be seen sprinting towards a presidential helicopter that was parked there.
"Sir, your transport is ready," the pilot said.
"Yeah, yeah, just get out of my way!" Gonzalez rudely tossed him aside and commandeered the chopper, not hesitating to take off.
"Rrgh, he's escaping! Quick, Ike! Robyn! Come with me!" Jasper ordered, prompting them to do just that.
It seemed that Robyn knew exactly what to do, as before Jasper could tell her to, she lifted the two guys up and tossed them at the departing helicopter as if they were javelins. After the two took the time to high-five each other in mid-air, Jasper managed to grab onto one of the chopper's stilt-like landing appendages, while Ike grabbed the other before swinging up towards the window and kicking their way in.
"Ah, Mr. Collins! So nice of you to join me- Oof!" Gonzalez was cut off as Jasper grabbed him by the collar and pinned him into the corner.
"You already tried to conquer the world back on Earth, and I'm not gonna let you take over the afterlife either!" Jasper warned.
"Geez, even in death, you're hopelessly diagnosed with Gonzalez derangement syndrome! Here I am working my ass off to try and set everything right, and what do I have to show for it aside from all these metric tons of bad publicity?!" Gonzalez ranted. "I spend all this time in both heaven and earth trying to appeal to both sides of the political aisle and unite our country, and apparently nobody even gives me a chance!"
"Well you did unite the country... twice! But only because you're such a deranged, incompetent, and downright shitty president, and easily the worst America has ever seen!" Jasper spat back.
"S-Stop... s-s-saying that! RRRAAAGGGHHH!" Gonzalez managed to free himself and tried to punch his nemesis, only go get his fist caught and shoved behind him.
Jasper managed to pin down both of the president's arms and slammed him into the helicopter's control panel, causing it to spiral out of control and plummet to the ground. Gonzalez was left at the mercy of Ike's reincarnation device, which he didn't hesitate to use, effectively defeating his nemesis for good. By the time the chopper had crashed, the two had already leapt out, casually walking away from the fiery explosion with a cocky smirk on their faces.
"Up in smoke, and down in flames," Ike smirked.
"Couldn't have said it better myself," Jasper replied with a smirk of his own.
Later on, the whole gang gathered back in front of the White House, where countless unconscious agents were scattered all over the lawn. A whole slew of damaged black Secret Service vehicles was lying about, every last one of them spewing smoke and some of them still on fire.
"Welp, looks like that threat's been taken care of," Xavier dusted his hands off. "You folks might as well hold onto those reincarnation devices. Just in case some other wannabe tyrant makes their way up here."
"That sounds cool! We could be the afterlife's task force or something!" Todd chirped excitedly.
"Oog," Eli rolled his eyes as he groaned quietly.
"Just one problem, though. With Gonzalez gone, who's gonna be president now?" Tequila questioned. "I mean, as you all told us earlier, politicians never leave office until one of their replacements from Earth passes away."
"Eh, I'm sure we'll be fine. Hopefully the guy who replaces him is a good one, like Barack Obama!" Ike said hopefully.
"Oh yeah, the first black president! How could I forget that one?" Xavier grinned.
"Wait! America had a black president?! Ohhh..." Jay's voice trailed off as he fainted with a smile, with Second struggling to hold him off the ground.
"Don't mind him. He died in the 80s, so he's not aware of a lot of these things," Eli explained.
It was then that Jasper, Tequila, and Xavier's bodies began to flicker like holograms for a bit.
"Welp, looks as though our time's about up," Jasper said. "It's been a lot of fun hanging out up here, though."
"Aw, but can't you three stay for just a bit longer?" Second pleaded.
"Oh, believe me, I'd love to. But I've already gone through so much alcohol to make sure I could have all the time I needed to perfect the reincarnation devices. I feel if I drink any more, I'll become addicted," Xavier replied.
"Well then, we'd better hurry up with our goodbyes," Tequila said as she walked over to hug Carlos.
"Do not worry, hija. We will see each other again before you know it. In the meantime, live your life to the fullest in however many years you have left," Carlos said. "Oh, and Jasper? Keep taking good care of my daughter."
"As always," Jasper nodded, before turning to Second and giving him as tight of a hug as he could muster. "Take care of yourself, buddy. And I'll see you later."
"Xavier, don't you dare stop making the world a better place," Theresa said, she and Tom hugging their son.
"And don't you two worry," Xavier replied confidently.
"Well Jasper? I guess this is goodbye… again," Beatrice hugged her son, her voice shaky.
"For now, at least," Jasper replied, struggling to hold back a tear or two.
"Kinda' wish you could've let me join you during the scuffle on the helicopter, but eh, what are you gonna do?" Beatrice continued, eliciting a chuckle from her son.
"And thank you guys for all your help too," Jasper said, giving Ike a fist-bump.
"Meh, it was nothing," Ike waved his hand dismissively, but maintained his smirk. "Maybe in the future, we can get a proper Season 3 with you guys as recurring members of the cast."
"Please. That's about as likely as Johnny Depp starring in a film without Helena Bonham Carter," Tequila chuckled, before standing alongside Jasper and Xavier.
With one last wave of goodbye, the three faded out of existence.
"So right about now, we should all start dancing to some trendy pop song, all the while completely glossing over what our existences are like after the conflict's been resolved, right?" Todd asked. "I've got Apache on standby."
"Don't be ridiculous, Todd. That'd be too predictable, even for us," Eli nudged him in the ribs.
Eventually, the Looks Don't Matter trio woke up in Xavier's living room, where they discovered it was broad daylight. Jasper was the first to wake up, letting out a yawn as he slowly rose to a stand, only to hold his head and plop into an armchair, obviously suffering from a massive hangover.
"Ohhh, my head," he groaned. "G-Guys? Are you two alright?"
As if on cue, Xavier followed suit, though he seemed to be a little less groggy than Jasper. He managed to seat himself onto the nearby couch without too much pain or trouble.
"Well. I think I'll be cutting the booze out of my life, at least for a good while," he said. "Maybe I can sell off whatever's left of it in my house. Then use the money to fund another science project."
"You seriously just woke up after being unconscious for days, and you're already looking to get back into the swing of things?" Jasper grunted, still holding his smarting head. "Seriously, how little did you drink?"
"I have no idea," Xavier replied. "Though by the looks of it, Tequila had way more."
Speaking of which, she slowly popped her eyes open, only to see that she was lying right next to a puddle of her own vomit. Upon making that realization, she screamed and scrambled away. It turned out that her top had also ridden up to breast-level while she was lying down, so she quickly pulled it back down as she sat up.
"Yecch! Remind me to never get that wasted again," she said, adjusting her disheveled hair.
"Don't worry. I could use that same reminder myself," Jasper replied with Xavier nodding assent. "Say, am I the only one here who suddenly feels... fulfilled?"
"Well we did get to take out Gonzalez for the second time, thus saving both heaven and earth," Xavier said matter-of-factly.
"Hey, wait a minute! That reminds me: why didn't you let me get some hits in on GG?!" Tequila suddenly came to a realization.
"Hey now, what happens in heaven stays in heaven," Jasper replied.
"Don't give me that shit! I'm serious!" Tequila continued.
"You never asked. Besides, you seemed pretty occupied with everyone else who attacked us," Jasper argued.
"Yeah, well early on, I already vowed to defeat him myself!" Tequila grumbled, now back on her feet.
"Honestly, does it really matter who did it, so long as it's done?" Xavier folded his arms.
"Quiet!" Tequila grit her teeth, glaring daggers at the both of them. "Y'know what, Jasper? Just for that, you're sleeping in the bathtub for a month!"
"Wait, what the hell?!" Jasper's eyebrows shot up.
"You heard me!" Tequila put on a seductive smirk. "And that means no cuddling or lovemaking until that month is up."
Without another word, she strutted out of the living room, intentionally moving her hips so her husband could take notice of them.
"How you ended up getting with her is beyond me," Xavier chuckled as Jasper rolled his eyes.
~ ~ ~ The End ~ ~ ~