Three triplets are sitting in their bedroom. Their names are Gwendolyn, Saria, and Ray. Gwen is sitting on a chair and playing with Ray's hair. Saria is curled up on the ground reading a book. After a moment of silence, Ray speaks up.
Ray: I'm bored.
Gwen stops playing with Ray's hair and puts her hands on her lap: What do you wanna do, Ray?
Saria closes her book: Let's discuss where we want to go to college.
They both stare at her for a moment.
Gwen: Let's talk about boys!
Saria: Really, Gwen?
They both stare at their sister. Their surprise slowly morphs into double demonic grins.
Gwen: Ray's got a cru-ush!
Saria: Pray tell, who's the lucky guy?
Gwen: Is it Ben, from gym class?
Ray: I-it's not like that!
Gwen: I assume that's why you're stuttering.
Saria: Come on, we're triplets. You can tell us anything.
Ray, hangs her head: Okay, maybe it is like that. But it's not like he even knows I'm alive.
Saria: Then we'll just have to fix that!
Ray: But I don't even know what he likes.
Gwen: Get him some cheetos. All boys like food!
Saria: Or send him a letter professing your undying love.
Gwen: You could just tell him how you feel.
Ray, head snaps up: No way! I'd die of embarrassment.
Saria: She's right, you can't just be that direct with a guy.
Gwen: Why not? That's how I got my past five boyfriends.
Saria: Well, not everyone has your confidence. Even though boys have the subtlety of a rock.
Gwen: Well, Saria, if you're so smart then what do you do when you like a guy.
Saria: You must be kidding. Guys? I don't have time for silly, schoolgirl crushes.
Gwen: You've never had a crush on anyone before?!
Saria: I simply haven't had time to worry about it.
Gwen: So you've never been attracted to anyone romantically before?
Saria: I just told you, no!
Gwen: I'm just asking-
Ray: Guys! You're giving me a headache.
Gwen: Sorry, Ray.
Saria: I also apologize.
Ray: It's fine. I'm just stressed, that's all.
Gwen: Don't worry, we'll find the perfect way for you to confess your feelings.
Saria: Here, I'll write a letter for you.
There is a moment of silence as they wait for her to finish. Saria scribbles furiously for several minutes.
Gwen: Read it! Read it!
Ray: Please don't make it too embarrassing!
Saria: My dearest Ben,
From the day I first laid eyes on you, I knew that my love-
Ray: No, no, no! Don't say the L word. That isn't right at all.
Gwen: Besides, that doesn't sound like Ray at all.
Saria: Well, you're welcome to try if you think you can do any better.
Gwen; Watch and learn, Saria. Watch and learn.
There is a moment of silence as they wait for her to finish. Gwen scribbles furiously for several minutes.
Saria: What are you waiting for, Gwen. Read it.
Gwen: Ahem. Hey, Ben
Love me, or else.
Ray: Gwendolyn Roberta Smith!
Gwen: What? It says what it's gotta say.
Saria: Most love letters don't have underlying death threats.
Gwen: It's not that bad!
Ray: Guys! I've had enough of this.
Gwen: You want to write your own letter.
Ray: No! I've had enough of this. I'm just going to go up to him tomorrow and tell him how I feel.
Saria: Are you sure? What if he rejects you.
Ray: I'm ready for that. (Stands up, hands on hips)
Saria: Wow, I didn't realize my little sister was so brave.
Gwen: *Sniff* Our little sis is growing up.
Ray: You realize we're triplets, right.
Both sisters start crying.
Ray: *Sigh* You guys really are hopeless.