Day 1: The first day of the is strange…
And today was wonderful, the ghost that I've always wanted to see followed me home, I thought that I'd get to find out if heaven or hell or something comes after, but I didn't, instead I found out that some people are so past depression that they believe believe this world is the afterlife.
On a warm Sunday in April, Samuel Gottlieb swung in the park near his house when he noticed a girl beside him, glanced at her, then shouted, "I wish I'd see a real live ghost!"
"Why?" Noah asked, "They can't be seen by most people, and can't be heard or touched or anything!" Then she looked at Sam and told him, "That's what we really want, you know!"
"Well since," Sam started to answer as he watched kids playing in the park, "if I knew a ghost, at least that would mean there's something..."
"Hmm?" Noah asked, "What do you mean?" She pushed her legs out and told Sam, "Well for me, I wanna be an angel, they have a reason to stay you know." Then Noah speeded up and shouted, "They have wings too! Isn't that so cool? And help people, and are FELT!"
She let go of the chains, stretched out her arms and shouted. "Maybe soon, I can be one too!"
Sam watched as Noah leaped off of the swing to fall to her knees, then told her, "Only if you're really good, silly."
Noah looked at Sam cockeyed and asked, "Aren't I really good?"
Sam slowed down as Noah was getting back on and told her, "Not if you fall down when you try to fly sweetheart."
Noah laughed, "Well anyways, most people don't even see me, let alone like what I try to do for them..." then she looked carefully at Sam and added, "But you do! You even listen to me, so if I'm going to earn my wings, it'll be with you!"
"What?" Sam asked as he met Noah's eyes and thought, 'Your just imaginary...' "Earn your wings?" then he sighed and told imaginary girl, "So you can leave me too, huh? Just like in those dumb HappyHall films." 'She's just another imaginary ghost… I'm still not crazy enough…'
'Everything was gonna be and will be great when I finally earn my wings,' Noah thought as she stared curiously at Sam, 'but here is this boy, who sees me and, and... Am I really going to LEAVE him?'
Then she quietly asked Sam, "Why don't you not mind me being a ghost anyways?"
"Hnf" Sam snorted, almost smiled and told Noah, "Because there cool, and anyways, my sisters a ghost now..."
Sam looked at the swing beside him, then watched the strangers dress running into the bushes nearby and called, "You're kinda are shy aren't you?"
"Well…" Noah smirked, pulled up her hoodie to cover her head and answered, "I'm really just the nervous type that likes to hide behind a sheet."
Sam smiled as Noah ran her fingers against the fence and said, "Okay"
"HEYY!" Sam watched his new friend dash into a car and heard her yell, "You nearly hit that guy!" then Noah walked back to Sam as he watched her with astonishment, "See, they didn't even see me…"
'Did it hit her?' Sam examined the realistic looking girl as she stood in front of him at the crosswalk and thought, 'After probably being hit by a speeding car... She just walked away.'
"See…" Noah started as soon as she came over and complained, "No! There's no benefits to being a ghost at all!"
"No?" Sam smiled at girl who was either a ghost or a good hallucination and told her, "You must be the luckiest girl in the world."
"Lucky?" Noah started to tell Sam, "You really think it's lucky that no one can see you?"
After a moment of walking down the street with her, he quietly answered, "Yeah,"
"Yeah, I'll show you lucky..."
"Good afternoon!" Noah allowed herself to be pushed by people walking into her with a smile, then added, "and how are you today?" then she picked up a dandelion from a crack in the sidewalk and blew the seeds in front of them, but all they did was glance away from the wind,
"Whenever a ball or kite or anything gets lost," Noah told Sam, "I try to help get it retrieved and with a blessing too!" Noah picked up a ball, tossed it to some kids and shouted, "Peace and blessings be with you today!"
"When Frisbee's flying away in the brush or kids and dogs go running off, I really DO help, but... Nobody ever seems to notice… and care, it's very distressing, and the biggest I've ever gotten was a tiny half a split second smile..!"
'Then why bother?' Sam thought as he looked at the foolish girl, 'Maybe she really does just want to earn her wings.' And mumbled, "It's not like anyone cares until someone they know dies."
Noah tightened her lips and told Sam, "It sucks being invisible."
"I still think you're lucky, sweetheart," Sam told Noah, "I mean, you must be able to do anything and…NOBODY CARES." He walked with the girl down the street with a pleasant smile and added, "I wish I was invisible..."
'I don't even know her name, but if it's "you" she's gonna disappear…'
"Hrrgg!" Noah exclaimed to Sam, "How could you think such a thing? Aren't you in the least bit concerned that nobodies cares?"
Noah's disgusted look faded fast as she watched Sam who actually wants to be unseen, and thought, 'He's sad.' Then she walked in front of Sam and asked him, "So you think my being a ghost is alright?"
Sam looked at his Sunday daydream with a happy sigh, then explained, "Isn't it great? It's like being a monster, but ghosts are special kinds, they can walk through walls and be free, but like monsters, ghosts can't get scared off because after all, they're the ones who haunt people right?"
The ghost slowed her pace, so Sam sighed and mumbled, "But maybe she isn't a ghost... Maybe she's just." gone.
Noah squinted her eyes at Sam and admitted, "I get scared." then she snorted and added, "But thankfully I have such a bad I have such a bad memory that I can't even remember this morning!"
As Noah stared at Sam with a carefree smile, he forced a laugh and said, "Really? A bad memory? Like Casper, eh? He couldn't even remember his own mother!"
They walked quietly for a few moments in the windy spring day and Noah responded, "Yeah... I... can't quite remember my own mother either..."
"Hmm?" Samuel tilted his head toward Casper and asked, "You can't? What happened?"
Noah immediately opened her eyes, turned toward Sam's face and shouted, "I'm a ghost! Remember?"
Several buildings passed before Sam grabbed Noahs wrist across the street, " But you're not a real ghost." He started to explain when he started to catch his breath, "Your right here and even have a pulse."
'...He even caught up with me, and now has proof I'm alive?' Noah thought in awe of what Sam had just done and told her, then continued to walk home with Sam, 'Maybe I really am alive...'
"Really?" Noah asked Sam as they turned into a dark alley, "Ok... Is that why you wanna see one? Because apparently even a ghost like me has a pulse?"
"Well..." Sam started to walk with long footsteps and explained, "If ghosts are real, then I can be with my sister... You know," he put on a clown smile, looked at Noah beside him and added, "I killed her."
"W, what?" Noah said in shock.
Sam stared at Noah who seemed to have become paler, possibly transparent like she really is just his imagination, he tried to keep his cool, but if she completely fades away, even if I've just made her up a few minutes ago…
"What's happening?" Noah heard Sam ask her as she stood still and felt like she was going disappearing into oblivion again, "You're like disappearing!"
Noah took a shaky breath as Sam watched pieces of her seem to disappear and asked "Are you really a ghost?"
'He really felt me…' Noah thought as she bit her lips and tried to figure out what to say to Sam, 'And he really seems to think I'm a real, living, normal girl.' Then she took a breath to calm down, stood up to Sam and answered, "... Yeah,"
Then Noah tossed her pigtails, walked ahead backwards to smile at Sam and tried to explain, "But it's okay, right. Right? Well anyways, I'm really sorry about your sister..."
Noah feared the worst as she waited the split moment that felt like eternity for Sam to answer, "Huh? Well that sucks..." then when they came out of the dark alley, Sam glanced at her and grunted, "Humph. Well, since your apparently not real, does that mean you'll disappear now too?"
Noah squinted her eyes, "Wha-?"
Sam scratched his neck, rolled his eyes and explained, "Well, you know like all my other "friends" He glanced at Noah and added, "They're just either my stupid, terrible imagination or I really am just too stupid to have any, you know?"
After Noah serenely looked at Sam, he laughed and grunted, "Humph. At least you're the realest one I've come up with, you actually talk back," he smiled at her and added, "haven't disappeared yet."
It took Noah a moment to return Sam's smile, but when he did, he asked her a simple question, "So, when are you gonna go, sweetie?"
"Oh," Noah stopped being afraid of the sad boy as they neared a bridge, "when I earn my wings, you know, if your alright with that anyways."
Sam looked at 'Casper, the friendly ghost.' and thought that it was 'a little too much like a movie…' then he started to ask her, "Earn your wings? Is that really why your here?"
He looked over the side of the bridge and wondered if he would even break a bone if he jumped in, then said, "Like it's some stupid wonderful life? Huh."
When they crossed over the bridge, Sam looked at the ghost who wants to be an angel's innocent looking face, then shook his head, laughed and said, "Well anyways. You shouldn't be here. I'm a lost cause. You ain't never gonna earn your wings with a dummy like me so go find another charity case."
"But I came here for you." Noah told Sam, looking dejected as she looked him straight in the eyes, "Anyways, your something special, otherwise, why in the world would you actually talk to me?"
"Because I..." Samuel said at a loss for better explanatory words which made Noah start to smile again, "Because I'm dreaming..."
"Ahhhmph!" Noah grunted with a smile as she danced off and stopped in front of a church, then looked up at the bell tower with a cross on top, and stared at the stained glass angels standing tall against the walls.
When Sam was within a meter of Noah, she spun around and told him, "Well anyways, I'm trying to be an angel. You see, they're better than real, the Bible tells me so!"
'Defiantly a hallucination…' Sam thought as his realistic hallucination of childish Sunday school songs sat down in front of a flower garden and patted her hand on the bench to invite Sam to sit with her.
"And anyways," Noah smiled at Sam, "like I said. I'm here for you!"
Sam looked at the church, '"OK, whatever, what's your name, my nice friend who thinks she's a ghost." 'Mental breakdown?'
Noah shrugged and answered, "I don't know."
Samuel sighed, closed his eyes for a moment and said, "Cool, well there must be some reason why your here, what are you sposed to help me with anyways?" he asked the ghost who wants to be an angel and thought, 'If she really is an angel like the HappyHall movie world.'
"I'm supposed to be good!"
'Feels like a broken record...' Sam thought, then he asked, "...You're not good?"
"Well…" Noah answered, "I did die right..."
'Says the girl who doesn't know her own name.'
"HAHAHA" Noah shouted, "And I can't even remember why!"
'Or mine for that matter either, probably...' Sam thought with a yawn, then he stood up and announced, "Alrighty! Then we'll try everything in our power to make you angel, eh." Sam tried to see if he could not to see Noah or see right through her as he asked himself, 'She's a ghost, or hallucination, or something right?' then told the strange girl, "Alright?"
Noah eyed Sam suspiciously as she sat down with legs crossed and asked, "Really?"
"Yes really," Sam told the girl, "now, anyway, what should I call you? Happy? Clarity? Angelica? Or just plain "Silly girl?"
Noah pushed her arms out as if she was starting to get up, then looked around and told Sam, "No, all those names are too long or too nice for me." then she stood up in front of Sam and admitted, "I'm not a very nice creature, you know."
"Well…" Noah looked around the garden and stated, "I wanna be colorful..."
Sam watched Noah and felt like he was remembering something, then he put on a smile and told Rainbow, "Humph, nice to meet you, Rainbow."
"Raine Bow?" Noah repeated slowly, then shouted, "That's too long, I can't remember that!"
She stared right into Sam's face as he started to realize what she meant by, 'I'm not a very nice person, you know.'
"And not Raine either, that's just silly." Noah told Sam, "No, I like Noah. I remember someone used to tell me about him and I want to create rainbows!"
'Like a pooping unicorn?' Sam almost chuckled as he started to walk toward the sidewalk.
Noah caught up with Sam and asked him, "What's your name anyways?"
"Samuel…" Sam started to remember something as he continued to walk up the hill, a feeling that was lost, hidden, a forbidden subject maybe, probably?
Noah looked at Sam with a pleasant and sincere smile and told him, "Mom would tell me about Noah whenever it rained, or the sprinkler made a mist, She would say how God gave him a promise."
'I know what it is now,' Sam thought as he caught Noah's smile through tears, 'and thankfully I'm too tired to run away right now...' then with a shaky smile, he slowly asked Noah, "...Really?" he sniffed. 'I'm dreaming, I had forgot about you, my imaginary sister.'
"Yeah," Noah laughed as they reached the other side of the park and told Sam, "I forgot about her, but now I remember, Mom used to tell us that rainbows are filled with peace, hope and promises of everlasting love, and that's why she named me Noah, to remind us of that!" then she went back into the park, swung around a pole and shouted, "Cool isn't it?"
Sam sniffled a sigh, bit his lips and while he tried to avoid looking at Noah, he asked her quietly "So your... Her, huh?"
"Her?" Noah asked Sam with a tilt of her head,
'She obviously doesn't know,' Sam thought, 'or YOU don't want her to, a mental block.' Then he took a deep breath and with a grimaced smile, answered, "My sister. That's cool. It's cool," then he shrugged his shoulders and added, "You do look kinda like her."
He walked back toward his house and blinked with the realization that his parents 'won't be able to see this girl, she isn't real...' then watched the grass that grew in the cracks of the concrete and told Noah, "You know I wish that you were real, mom and dad would absolutely love to see you again..."
"Hmm?" Noah asked Sam when she followed Sam across the road, then silently walked with him until they stopped in front of his house and asked, "Are you ok?"
Noah followed Sam around to the back of the house, and as he leaned against the wall she watched tears still flowing down his face.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take your sisters name!" Noah tried to apologize, "It's ok, I'll change it, Rainbow. Clarity, Anything!" Noah panicked as she watched Sam's empty face and yelled, "Saaammmyyy!"
Sam moved, then looked at Noah and asked, "What?"
Noah smiled at Sam for a moment, then she asked him, "So you'll help me? Or at least try to?"
Sam sighed, then turned away from Noah as he climbed the back stairs, put his hand on the doorknob and answered Noah, "Only if you help me."
"Help you?" Noah cocked her head to the side and asked, "Help you what?"
Sam opened the door and answered, "Guess." Then he waled through the kitchen and thought, 'Ghosts have a bad memory, huh? Or am I playing tricks on myself?'
"Hnfph." Noah scratched her nose as she closed the door in back of her and answered, "Well in that case, let me tell you that I'm just a ghost and they might not see me."
"You're a broken record you know." Sam told Noah as he started to fill a glass of water.
Noah put on a face of someone who looked like they had done something wrong and answered, "... I know..." then she looked at some pictures hanging up on the wall for a few moments, smiled and told Sam, "Well, any hoot, remember that it's not your fault! Whatever happened is forgiven."
'"Whatever happened is forgiven." Sam thought when he entered his bedroom, then laid down and said out loud, "But not forgotten, never forgotten."
'And if you come in. Then don't make mom even more upset.' Sam's tired mind thought.
'And how would I do that, silly?'
When Noah answered, Sam wasn't sure if she had heard his thoughts or not and thought, 'But she's a ghost, so she's probably psychic…' then he looked at Noah and said, "I really don't know…"
"Why's mom upset?" Noah asked Sam, "Is it because of me?"
"No…" Sam stared at the stars on his ceiling and mumbled, "It's because of me... I can't.." he sat up and looked out of the window to see if his parents were back yet, then watched his neighbor playing in the back yard and told Noah, "I can't do anything..."
He waited for a response from Noah and told himself, 'At least one in my crazy, stupid mind…'
'She's gone?' Sam thought after a moment and looked around for any sign of Noah, 'But, it was just a silly dream anyways,' he realized how foolish he had been, 'A stupid disappearing imaginary friend... Maybe I should tell the counselor about that, give me medication, maybe that would help mom...'
Sam laid back down on his bed and watched the metallic stars twinkle on his ceiling, then told himself, "I'll wake up and won't even remember her...' he closed his eyes and listen to the white noise as he imagined images of 'Crickets, cars, and neighbors playing outside,'
"Why do you think I won't be here when you wake up?" Noah asked Sam, "I wanna be Sammy, I really wanna see mom and dad again..."
"Great!" Sam exclaimed, then stood up, walked out of the room, and as he avoided looking in Noah's direction, he desperately added, "Now I really am hearing her!"
Noah looked at Sam with a funny expression, then looked around the plain room with plain bedding, a nightstand and a few boxes and asked him, "Do you really like your room like this?" then she sighed, walked into the kitchen with him and said, "Well anyways, I really do want to earn my wings you know."
'She's not really gonna go away, is she…' Sam thought, then heard a car pull into the driveway and wondered, 'Is that bad? Then I won't be-'
"Look, Mom's home!" Noah stared out the window that Sunday afternoon.
'Will Mom see her?' Sam thought as he thought about how a car probably did really hit her, 'No-one else seems to.' he followed Noah into the hallway and added, 'Maybe she won't be such a taboo after all...'
Sam nearly smiled at that and grunted. "Humph"