I write to escape reality

I eat out of habit

Because food tastes good

Because I'll pass out if I'm not on schedule

Because it takes my mind off of things

I smoke because it's available

Because it's offered

Because "this will be the last time"

Because "it helps"

I listen to music to lose myself in the sounds and smother the silence

To feel the vibrations reverberate throughout my body

To sing and cry until my lungs can't take it anymore

I drive too fast because I love the freedom

Because life is somehow both too stressful and goes by too slowly

Because it's a way to run away and pretend I can keep running forever

I pick and pull on my cuticles until they bleed to keep myself grounded

And bite my aching lips to release anxiety

And inflict deeper scars to escape the numbness

I look at pictures to remember how to laugh

And watch movies to remember not everything is bad

I take one pill to remind myself how to sleep

And another to have good dreams

I speak because I can't resist

Because I want to be heard

And I usually regret it

I write because that reality I create is mine

And no one can take it away from me