Anger So Numb
I wish that I could just feel something.
Anything but anger will do.
I've grown numb to my surroundings.
The only exception is anger.
I don't know why this is happening.
I wish I could just fix it and move on.
My heart continues to grow colder.
These words are being read from the outside.
They aren't sinking into my soul.
I wish that I could just feel something more than anger.
All I feel is this relentless anger.
I can't release it.
It isn't enough to just release a little bit of it.
I try and try to hold it all in.
The dam will very soon overflow.
There will very soon be an uncontrollable flood.
I want to feel something more than just anger.
I'm numb to everyone and everything besides anger.
I'm always glowing red.
I'm always feeling hot.
My mouth never takes a holiday.
I'm always working up a sweat.
My words are always tumbling around each other.
Part of me is content to remain this way.
The other part of me wants more than this.
I find this really weird.
The anger always flows freely inside of me.
It's always building up.
My anger is ready to burst out into the world around me.
You'd better watch out.
It's a struggle to control it.
I want to feel something more than this numbing anger.
I bring myself down when I want to hit something.
I always want to slice myself up to bits.
I hate myself.
I hate what I've become.
I'm so much more cold hearted than before.
I used to be more rays of sunshine.
I used to believe more.
Now all I've got is this numbing anger.
I get upset when someone critiques me.
Why must I make such a fool out of myself.
"From now on" and "I will" or "I won't" is all I have to say.
These words are just dumb.
I can't get out of this hole I'm in.
I can't get away from the claws of this numbing anger.
It's always there.
It doesn't matter where I go or who I'm with.
I know that there is more to life than this.
The realization is there.
I just don't want to face it at times.
All I want to do is claw at myself.
I want to tear myself apart.
Don't try and cure me of this disease.
You always think you know it all.
You don't know a thing about me.
There has to be more to life than this numbing anger.
I'm falling deeper into this grave I've dug for myself.
The battle inside never ceases.
I can't always say my angered words.
I can't always put a finger on things.
I'm numb to everything except anger.