Monday 8th June 2020, 14:29

Walked with mum. Listening to We Got the Look by Trixie Mattel whilst I try and write Gold because it's a repetitive song and doesn't distract me that much when I'm writing. Have writer's block but only because I don't care about this chapter. I need to make it more interesting because if I don't think it's fun to write, people aren't gonna think it's fun to read. I want it to have a bit of angst because I love writing angst; it's probably my favourite part of fanfics to write.

I saw a tweet earlier that was like "starting a 100k slow burn fanfic at 2am should be recognised as an official human emotion" and it wasn't until I read the replies that I realised it was about reading them. I hate reading fanfics - I rarely do it. People think it's weird if you write ff but don't read it but I love reading published novels and even though I do find the occasional thing to read, why would I waste my time reading a fanfic that I might like when I could write one that I really want. Anyway, I do start writing ridiculously long fics at 2am sometimes and I love to do that but reading them? No thanks. Can't even say I'm a stuck up reader either, I fucking love fanfics, but I just don't like the effort of finding a good one. I do sometimes read one-shots if someone who interacts with my story has any on their profile because I think that's a nice thing to do.


I need to write chapter 6. Not even sure why I started writing this entry.


I always see tumblr posts on Insta which are like: "most girls are up at 3am partying but I'm up writing at 3am writing a new fanfic" why can't I be both people? I am both people. A couple of weeks ago I went to bed at 4am because I stayed up to watch a Trixie stream, at the end of March I stayed up until 3am because I was stoned with Ella and watching netflix, in mid-February, I was still up at 8am because we'd gone out for daisy's birthday and had an afters that lasted until it was getting light out, last night I was up until 2 because I was planning a fanfic.

I'm a woman of many interests.


Finished and uploaded chapter 6 yay! Kinda want to write chapter 7 later tonight I think so that I'm ahead of schedule - that's always fun. I've actually been productive in lockdown terms - walked 11,000 steps, read a book, started a new book, wrote a chapter (1,400 words), watched tik tok for a bit. I am thriving.

Friday 12th June 2020, 13:04

Been on a walk today, have written chapter 7 of Gold, started Empire of Storms by Sarah J Maas (Throne of Glass #5). Need to figure out 9 weird historical facts about England and turn them into questions because we're doing a quiz tonight. Probably going to watch youtube and do sudoku for a bit (nearly at puzzle 200, I think I should get a new book so I have one ready oops) and also read more. At 40,442 words of That Hate Crime so I've been going so much slower with it and barely writing parts but that's okay.