In my mind I make it New Year's Day
Asking myself to do anything I hope I'd do
Like I say on my birthday, "thank you, I'm okay"
Unfortunately I won't change just because I'm supposed to
I muzzle as though I have no choice but to retaliate
Permission to abandon myself despite the times
We've run out of plates and yet I already ate
Is it just life, is it mine, or the abundance of 'signs'?
I have mimed a gap out loud and so poorly
Anxious palms turning lists to lint
I realise I have cruelly been myself too early
Relief that convenient rhyming won't make it to print
Painful panning because I say I am pained and I will cry until I am drained
Pride and peace promised stress relief has only stressed a dormant unease
A happy fabric is pooling at my feet but even bare I feel the need to eat
I shut my eyes now for it to go but I'll only be awake for more of tomorrow