Ah, Pittsburgh. It's come a long way from the Rust Belt.

Here and there, new companies have emerged. What happens inside of them is either too scary or too high-tech for the lay public to understand. Hence, PR has become a big thing here. And that's just the DAY thing that has...

This is the main building for Phalarope Pharmaceuticals. They pay their PR folk very well...

On TV, Leslie Jones, their publicist, announces all of the company's latest big plans. She preaches about how human health is Phalarope's biggest priority, and how the company's HR are working around the clock to keep humanity out of the end times of its health. All around the globe, new herbs are being discovered. And here, at Phalarope Pharmaceuticals, they're being experimented on and developed for the good of human health, and humanity in general...

At a mall, Leslie Jones shops for clothes. From where he is, he can see a TV that Phalarope's publicist is on. She's hot. And he isn't obsessed with her just because he has the same name as her...although yes, that probably has something to do with it, too...

He sighs, and sorts through the mall's bedding deals. As a pubescent virgin, he always seems to corrupt his bedding with a dark mark that no laundry detergent in the world can wash away. If only he could leave that kind of mark on a hot chick's heart... Just as long as he doesn't leave the actual mark of an STD anywhere up their...system.

"Hey, Leslie!"

It's Hannah, a girl that he knows of. And nowadays, she's not just any girl. She's Hannah Pitt, a rising actress. Leslie watches her vlog...a lot.

He's not sure why she's flagging him down. It'd seem like she'd have SO many other better boys in town to hit on...or better yet, safer girlfriends for her to be around, in these...sexually uncertain times.

"I've missed you," she says. "Acting can get SO stressful, sometimes."

"Your blogs...don't make it look so."

"Ah, believe me, watching my vlog is a breeze in contrast to watching it. Almost makes me wonder if I should keep going with it."

"Oh no, please," he begs her, "keep it open! It... It helps me sleep at night."

"Ah," she smiles, and flaps her hair. "Really?"

Leslie can feel himself hardening. He both loves and hates it when girls do this to him...not that he'd know.

"So, vlogging aside," he asks her, "what's your latest big project?"

She sighs. "Still unclear. I've gotten a lot of offers, but most of them look like shit."

"I'll bet you have. I'd...make you an offer."

"Ah," she reaches forth, and fixes his hair. "Really?"

"Well, you know... I'd have to have money, to do that for real. I'd also have to be in filmmaking, and...I'm not."

She smiles. "That's okay. I like you the way you are."

"Oh," Leslie laments. "Really?"

"Yeah! I especially like it when you wear shorts, and no shirt. You look like a true Virgo, that way."

He's hardening again...a lot more stubbornly than before.

"I've...got bedding to buy," he's begging for relief, from how tense he's feeling. "It's nice seeing you."

"Hey, maybe we could hook up sometime?"

He freezes...with a set of bedding in his hands.

"I mean, you know...something simple. We could do it at my place, or..."

He drops the bedding, and fakes a laugh. "Thanks, but... I don't think I'm ready for that. It'd be my first time."

She shrugs. "I'm sure we can think of something." She waves. "Call me, when you've figured it out."

With that, she leaves. Leslie follows her ass, as she does. It's a very nice ass. It's no Leslie Jones's, but... It's not hideous, either...

Leslie pants, and keeps shopping for bedding. He may need to buy two new pair, considering the amount of masturbation he'll have to do tonight, to get over his encounter with the gorgeous rising starlet Hannah Pitt...

On TV, Leslie the Greater is still flirting with the press, singing praises to Phalarope. She's four times Leslie the Lesser's age...and yet, in many ways, SO much more desirable than Hannah...when Hannah's not fresh on his mind...