My body is dissolving while I'm captured inside
Born into this flesh where I'm bound to reside
Experiencing the torture that spasms and breaks
Expels stomach acid while my head fills with stakes
Pricking my skull as light daggers filter in
More pain with sounds beckoning tension
My gums constantly throb along with my teeth
My skin feels cold spots with hot stabs underneath
Am I being autopsied while I am alive?
My words are mixed up, aphasia to thrive
Education disintegrating along with my ideas wild
Creativity formerly dwelled, now exiting chaos-style
When I meditate, I'm instead screaming in my mind!
I'm yelling out in pain this body's where I'm confined
Every step shocks my nerves, movement strains my bones
My hair can't be touched as if being struck by stones
This skin shrieks easily from simple touch or sleeping wrong
Twelve years anticipating relief equals a dozen years too long!
Discoloration frequent upon my fair bronzed covering
To this insomniac screaming at the demons constantly hovering
Nightmares are where I escape, constantly slaughter
me, Awaking to this ache that necesitate capsules, ice and water
crutches and braces barely maintain me, bruises form all places
Someone to help me up, Pills and vitamins dulling flareup traces
My brain feels loose, vertigo twirls the motionless room
Vision begins to blur as I crash into objects greeting doom
This is my vomit, prescription drugs flush out this urine,
these are the not helping; because this pain keeps occurin'
A new throb in my chest and I wrap myself tight
Drenched in water, ice or heat I battle and fight
Sometimes sunshine hurts, yet sometimes it aids
drenching my skin, warms my muscles, ache fades
"Chronic." "Constant." "Frequent." are just words to mask
That all I feel you don't understand if you have to ask

(2019)