I'm...strange. I can't really explain it right now.
When I was fourteen, I learned something I'm still getting over learning, but I've learned to embrace it. It can be useful, sometimes, this knowledge, and I'm proud of it.
I'm Sineia Lucin, known as simply Sine by most of the people who know me. I was supposedly born to Grace and Maxwell Lucin on July 3, 2000. The three of us lived in Delaware.
Grace Lucin has dark hair long enough to sit on. Her eyes are a light gray that sparkles sometimes. My father, Max Lucin, also has dark hair. His eyes are blue with a hint of gray.
I look nothing like them. I have green eyes and bright red hair, nothing like either of my parents. The only resemblance is the fact that my hair is thick and full, like both of my parents' hair.
When I was four years old, my brother, Ketein, known as Ket, came into the world. The year after that was when I started collapsing.
Uncontrollable passing out has been a part of life for me for years. Everyone's used to it now. The first time I had one, we were on vacation in New Mexico. When we were in Santa Fe, I began to hear a faint beeping. It grew louder as we climbed to the Capitol building, and soon it overtook me. I collapsed, suddenly, on the steps.
All I remember clearly before I passed out, weirdly, was a number.
I woke up half an hour later in an ambulance.
The thing is, no one calls an ambulance anymore when I pass out. The first several times, sure, but now my family knows I'll be fine. They just set me somewhere out of the way and wait for me to wake up - which I usually do in a few minutes.
If you watch me pass out, you might see me trying to cover my ears, and then I fall. No sounds, no crying out, nothing.
Inside, I'm screaming - mostly to drown out the beeps that are so loud and cacophonous, I feel like my eardrums are going to split. It hurts. It hurts a lot, and there's not really an explanation for it. Doctors attributed the beeping to hallucinations, although I didn't know why I would have had the same hallucination over and over again - or why it would be so deafeningly loud.
If that weren't strange enough, sometimes, in the middle of all the beeping, it would stop. Just for an instant. I felt like I can recenter myself. But a moment later, it all started up again, and everything disappeared until I came to.
It was really annoying. Especially when it happened at school.
It's not like people made fun of me, but it was still embarrassing, and it happened at the most random times. For whatever reason, it happened most often in math, although I'd get the occasional lunch or science beeping.
Once, I was in math, and we were doing graphing. My friend Will and I were working on a lesson together.
"Did you find the length of Line CQ?" Will asked me. "I think -"
I didn't hear anything else he said, because the beeping had started, and soon I was out. Another time, in fourth grade, I sat with my kindergarten-age brother at lunch on a special mixed grades day, and I was thinking about something random, when someone walked by, bragging to a friend about something.
"Gosh, Natalie, I have, like, 73 different colors!"
"You probably don't -"
BeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepBeepbeepbeepbeeepbeepbeepBeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepBeepbeeepbeepbeepbeepbeepBeepbeep*break*beepbeepbeepBeepbeepbeepbeepbeep beepBeepbeepbeepbeepbeeepbeepBeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepBeepbeepbeepbeeeepbeepbeep. I was out again.
It was over the summer that I realized something, sickeningly. I realized it on my birthday, July third.
And to think that it wasn't hard enough without having to find the significance of that number.