A.N / This is the diary I wrote in my 7th grade year; September 2012 – June 2013. I wrote in it religiously; often devoting pages and pages to a single entry, fixating on everything I did and felt that particular day. I had this really vivid fear of losing my memory and forgetting parts of myself, a fear I've still somewhat retained today. I put a lot of effort into trying to portray the occurrences of my life with as much accuracy as possible. Looking back on this diary, and remembering all the hours I spent painstakingly writing in it, I thought, maybe someone else could see this and relate to it, or be entertained by it, and so I figured, why not? And here we are.

Before we get started, I should just put it out that I was a pretty weird kid.I was awkward, had trouble connecting with others and expressing myself;aided more by the fact that I really wanted to express myself honestly, even if I didn't always know how to do that in a clear and cohesive way.I was confused about who I really wasand I often wrote things down without thinking about how they would sound aloud, when written on paper. Overall I'm grateful for that because It means that everything I wrote was pretty authentic to how I saw the world back then. If anyone has any questions or wants me to clarify on something I wrote; I'll respond the best that I can.

If you want to poke fun of or criticize something I did, that's fine as well.Don't worry, I won't get offended. It was a long time ago and I can see how a lot of the things I did could be seen as strange or humorous. As a person with a vested interest in psychology and self-understanding, I believe that pure, unfiltered honesty is the only way I'm going to get there. If anyone has any theories on my behaviour/why I expressed myself the way I did, I would honestly love to hear them. I'm still on the way to fully understanding myself.

Note: I didn't edit or censor this in any way, so the grammar and spelling mistakes are the same horrible spelling I had in 7th grade. I typed it up word for word, spelling mistakes and all. I wasn't the best writer, but I'm blessed with great family and friends that make my life much more interesting than it has any right to be.

AUGUST

31st, August. 2012.

[my address]

I am 11 years old and will be starting 7th grade in 6 days.

I don't particurarely like writing in diaries, but I do so, so that in 20 years or more, I will be able to remember my childhood, and show it to my children. not many adults I know remember thier childhood, and since I have a bad memory, this will be helpful in many years time. But I never really talk about emoitions, (sp?) so this will be more of a journal.

Right now, Tommy, my younger brother, is drinking cold chocolate. He was upset a little earlier, after I made an ornate Jenga block building. he had brought his playmobil toys there, and since, "playing," means attacking his toys, a playmobil with black hair and a dark knight costume got his leg ripped off. my older sister, Alyssa, got mad at him and brought the toy and some liquid glue upstairs. Now Tommy's mad at Alyssa, and Alyssa's mad at him. I'm pretty irratated at Alyssa, too. She's upset I got a new diary, because she wanted me to use my old drawing notebook, since she won't let me draw. She's probably hiding my writing binder now. Alyssa is my best friend, I just wish she wasn't so bossy!

Mom is reading her newspaper and sipping cofee, while scooby doo plays on T.V. This is her favourite part of the day. she spends most of the day cleaning or making us simple meals. Since she is a clean freak, she covers the living room couches with a blue couch cover and a baige blue sheet, and a special blue sheet for her seat at the couch end beside the cofee table. She won't let anyone else sit here, and the couch cushion is actually molded in the shape of her butt! (which dad finds hilarious!) Every day, at noon, she sits there and sips her coffee, reads her newspaper, and sleeps, sitting up. The newspaper is the only thing she reads, (although she says she loves reading!) she often reads intresting parts aloud, and she has become very headstrong in her opinions because of it, making anyone who doesn't agree with her sound evil.

Dad was also upset this morning. Since everyone but Dad goes to bed late, none of us were awake at 11:00 to pick up the important envelope. He got mad at all of us, and said that he's the only one who works in this family.

Now, Tommy is watching T.V., Mom is sleeping, Dad's at work, and Alyssa is evily scheming while I innocently write in here. Tommy's show is kind of funny. T.V.! why don't I tell you about that? It's called _. [I forgot the name of it lmao] It's been on for several years, and has clay Animation. The past short was about 2 scientests talking to a dumb, know-it-all computer. the computer said all planets are made of grass, but the Scientists said that Saturn, Jupiter, and neptune were all made of gas. So the computer blew up Saturn to check, and then, casually blew up neptune and Jupiter.

_ is on channel 50, on Teletoon. the other channels we watch are the History channel, the womens channel, Ytv channel, Treehouse channel, and channel 13. I'll continue to tell you about these after I get a watery splash of fruit juice and make some flipnotes!

LATER

I actually ended up drinking lemon Nestea and making only 1 flipnote. Anyways, back to T.V. None of us are very intrested in it, but it's a fun way to pass the time, if your bored. Tommy's been on it all day, since Alyssa hid his toys and electronics.

channel 50 is home to Teletoon. We don't watch much of it, anymore, except Tommy. He was just watching looney tunes. Not the classic, awesome looney tunes,- the modern recreation, with out-of-character characters, nonfunny jokes, crappy animation, and modern, weird scenes. well, whatever. nearly all teletoon shows have bad animators. I saw a slightly good one yesterday. Daffy duck stayed over at porky pig's house, and thought he was a murderer, when he was actually preparing for Daffy's birthday.

Tottally spies: Alyssa and I used to watch this all the time when we were younger! It is about 3 girly spies who shop and have crushes, but also are spies and get special gadgets. I still like to watch it sometimes!

Kidspies: I don't know if it's actually called that, but it's like that. Tommy likes it, but it seems just a ripoff of the original. There is also a modern update of scooby doo. it is rather dark, and too romantic, a big contrast to the original. Sometimes they actually show the original Scooby Doo and looney tunes, but not much. most shows have terrible animation, and lame jokes. Wayside is like this, except that it has a catchy song sequence. there used to be a show about teens searching haunted houses with a flashlight. this really spooked Alyssa and I. We watched it with a remote control for each of us, so we could switch channels if it got too scary. Also, there was a show we loved, about a guy and a girl who explored mysterious places.

History channel

Usually, we just dip in if it talks about a history we like. a new show called,"Blood and Iron, about one of my main historical intrests, Titanic, is supposed to be on every wednesday.

My Family and I used to always watch, "Urban legends" on Friday, with 3 stories, which we had to guess which were true or false. there were also two mini-myths we could guess at. A new, hilarious show is coming up, which is kinda like a magazine for the Royals of the 1500's.

THE WOMENS CHANNEL

Mostly, I just watch movies on here, now.

Even LATER

Sorry. Alyssa left to pick up her glasses, and I was making some more Jenga block towers (one of the few things I'm good at!) when Tommy and I decided to make a house with Jumbo lego, and Jenga blocks. Tommy also made a lego city, but mom got mad at him for putting it on the wooden chest. I made a set of stairs and added two beds to the house. We played an hour long game, and then took a break to watch the Octonauts, and snuggle with a green, frog, stuffed animal, and a green M and M stuffed toy that's also a computer-screen cleaner.

Anyways, Tommy was upset when I wanted to stop, and I had to set a timer for 1 hr. I have 45 minutes left.

Anyways, back to the women's channel. I've seen Titanic (1997) on here, a movie called, "Best Friends," and countless others. the only other show I sometimes watch on there is called, "love it, or list it. It's about a man and a woman, who see a new couple every episode, who are considering moving from thier house. the woman finds ways to fix their house, and the man tries to help them find a new house. at the end, the couple makes thier decision.

Preivious shows: A show called Style by jury showed a ugly person talking to a helper, while an unseen audience comments on the uglyness of the person. then, the helpers make the person healthier, and then show the improved person to the audience. theres similar show about a dude making people healthy, and comparing the person to uglier peoples, and then, shoving them on the runway. that dude also did a program on skin cancer, and doing x-rays on girls to check how damaged thier skin was. also, another show came up about brides losing Weight. there was a show mom loved about 2 women cleaning dirty houses, and a Supernanny fixing spoiled kids.

YTV channel

they mostly just show kids movies, and Icarly. I sometimes watch the movies.

The family channel

I don't watch it much, although the kids in my grade do. Recently, I watched A.N.T farm, which was actually pretty good.

TREEHOUSE channel

This is the channel I watch the most, even though it's for little kids! Recently, it moved from 64 to channel 19.

Backyardigans: It's on right now, actually! It's about 5 friends, Pablo, a mischevios, fun and adventorous blue penguin, Tasha is a girly, smart, polite, yellow hippo.

Drat! the timers' down, be back soon.

Tommy peed his pants. When I told him I wouldn't play with him, he started crying, but stopped when I told him I'd keep playing after he got changed. then he happilly chattered on, and now he's abusing his toys.

Anyways, back to Backyardigans. Tyrone is a couragous, strong, and leaderish orange moose. Uniqua is a tomboyish, creative, funny, pink, spotted butterfly. last but not least, Austin is a shy, smart, and helpful purple kangaroo. In each episode, they go on exciting adventure! In one episode, Uniqua, Tyrone, and Austin go to mars and discover a baby Alien and his mother. (Ugh! have to play again.) back. In another, Vikings are stopped by mermaid Tasha, but eventually make it to the island. Another is about mermaid sisters Tasha and Uniqua, who are protecting thier garden from onlookers, but get scared away by photographers. It's been on for as long as I can remmember, and has so many episodes!

MAx and Ruby: this show is about mischevious young Max and his older sister, Ruby. they live in a house near thier grandma, and Ruby goes to bunnyscouts (thier bunnies) with her friend, Luise. Everyone has such intresting personalities! Ruby is bossy, talkative, and well-meaning. Max is troublesome, quiet, and mischevious. All the episodes are about thier adventures, and it's been on as long as I can remember! the most recent episodes was about them going to England with thier grandma.

Caillou: A fascinating show with a faschinatating (sp?) animation! It's about the daily life and learning of a 4 year old! It's nice how Caillou's not perfect.

Franklin: It has the strange, new animation that's so popular now. the characters are perfect, it's bad compared to the original.

Toopy and Binoo: it's also been on for a long time! It's about a big, bubbly, talkative mouse, (Toopy) and his small friend, a quiet, sweet, and smart white mouse. the episodes are funny, short, and very creative!

Ask me!: Been on forever. It's a short show about kids answering questions like, "how old do you want to be?"

Manon: Unlike the popular, new animation, the animation is fresh and pretty. last year, when the show came out, all it was was singsong songs about perfect animals worshipping and a even perfecter manon! Now not even manon is perfect! Yeah! All the animals have such unique personalitys!

Fireman Sam: this came out this year. It's about a small town, and how fireman Sam saves people from near-diasters. The kids voices are annoying, and it has the new animation but otherwise, it's a good show.

4 square: been on forever! It's about 4 things - blue suited people doing excercise, a women teaching a kid something, blah, and people worshipping puppets.

My little pony: came out this year. talks about pony friends and thier adventures. Theres smart, kind, bookish Twilight, who is purple, magical, and with neon pink highlights in her hair. There is fast, competitive, and fun Rainbow dash, who is blue, power is speed, has rainbow hair and wings. There is western, competitive, teasing Applejack, who has an accent, and is yellow-orange. There is quiet, peaceful, and sweet fluttershy, who has a power for babysitting and hypnotizing with her eyes, and is yellow with pink hair. There is the beutiful diomond dash, who is vain but nice, who is sparkling white with stunning purple hair. last but not least, there's pinkie pie, a small, all pink pony who is talkative, energetic, and a little crazy!

In episodes, they battle evil and hilarious friendship probs! Twilight has a little pet dragon and writes friendship notes to princess Celestia.

Rolie Polie Olie: been on forever. It talks about a family made of metal, and the adventures of non-perfect Olie especially. It's funny, and it's cute how every item has a face.

THE OCTONAUTS: This came out in january! It's really intresting. It's about a cast of land animals who live in a octoport in the Ocean, and each episode is about them discovering a new animal, and helping it. there is a leaderish Polar bear, a photographer Beaver, pirateish, adventorous tomcat named Quazzy, a shy, animal doctor who helps animals, a rabbit who's in control of technology, a smart bear who knows all about ocean animals, a mini pink octopus who searches up animals in his library, and finnaly baker turnips! All the animals are so cute! In one episode, Dashi, the beaver, gets trapped in a cute whale shark. then, Captain Barnacles (the polar bear) and Quazzy, gets swallowed, and Pazo, the penguin, saves them. At the end of each episode, they talk about the animal and show a real photo of it.

My big big friend: This is a show about Lily, Max, and Urie. Lily is a girly, bossy, and perfectionist girl with black hair and skin, and glasses. Max is a athletic, funny, competive and fun red-hed boy, and Urie is a quiet, funny,and creative boy with tan skin in black hair. they all have big, imaginary friends. Lily has a pink giraffe with glasses, Max has a green, red-head kangaroo, and Urie has a big, blue elephant with small legs and hands. they go on fun adventures in the show.

Dora the explorer: been on forever. It's about football head Dora following a map to somewhere with her monkey friend Boots. At first, I loved Dora, but hated Boots, then I hated both of them, and now I'm neutral, but I never watch it.

Past shows: when I was 2, 3, or 4, Alyssa and I hated a show called my big house, about a blue thing and his house. around that time, there was a show about a girl who lived by a apple orchard. There was also hello kitty, and a show about a girl named Madeline who lived in a mansain with nine sisters. There was also, the classic, "little people." and a show on arts and crafts. and a show about a toycastle. Up till I was 7, there was a show about a female clown, and her dolly and friends, called Big Comfy, Couch! last year, there was a show called toot and puddle, about two brother pigs. and a show about airplane gophers. and a rabbit, and his animal freinds. and a rip-off of Dora, about a chinese girl. and a show called big and small, on the freindship of whiny small and nice big, and a show about a zebra in the jungle, called zigby. and, "Mr. Maker," was about arts and crafts. There also used to be little bear, the berenstein bears, and Timothy goes to school.

CHANNEL 02

This had tons of kid shows. there used to be a show about a duck, a bird, and thier nature discoveries, which was followed by kids doing the same thing. There was also a show called Arthur, about him and his freinds adventures in school.

CHANNEL 13

just a channel that shows whats on other channels.

I had to play Tommy's lego game today, where we built houses out of lego and Jenga blocks, had playmobils do weird things… It was cute, but annoying, when Tommy made grocery stores out of the jumbo blocks. then the new show came up! It's actually called, "the Secret life of…" and each episode is about a new ruler. The first episode was Henry VIII! Yay! It was HILARIOUS! It talked about stuff even I didn't know, like, his jousting Accident could've caused a personality change. The, umm, 'sex' stuff was so funny! the only thing hiding a mans, umm, private thing was a little cloth coverup!

After that, we were surprised to see a new episode, this one about Napoléon! I used to know barely anything about him, but not anymore! I learned that his wife, Empress Josephine, (who I once dressed up as for Halloween,) cheated on Napoléon, which made him furious!

A.N. Lol sorry for all the boring television talk, there won't be too much more of that in future entries.

*All my comments upon later re-reads are written in bold in brackets.