It took Peter a while to make his way to the entrance of the Tower. Not because the subway was running late or because he got caught behind people. No no, nothing like that. Nothing reasonable. It was his own fault. He practically spent an hour just staring at the Tower from across the street.
He was scared.
Which is stupid. It so stupid. It's not like Tony is gonna kill him or anything. Wade, maybe but not him. And sure he'll yell and scream and call him stupid, but it wasn't like he was going to hit him or anything. So, it was stupid. Irrational. Illogical.
Peter gulped, still staring at the Tower entrance. A few people were leaving, probably for early lunch or something which told Peter he's been standing there like an idiot for over an hour.
He sighed. "This is so stupid."
He should just do this tomorrow, or the day after. Yeah, that was a good idea. Peter was exhausted, talking with May took a lot more out of him than he originally thought. He doesn't think he can handle a heart to heart with Tony right now.
Peter sighed again and turned to head back to the subway, then stopped. He still had to get his suit upgraded and he couldn't do that without going to see Tony. Maybe he can just give it to Pepper or Bruce to give to Tony, he could say he needed the extra padding because he kept getting punched.
"Peter?" He turned and saw Steve lightly running towards him, he stopped when he got close. He was wearing shorts and a tight shirt, probably out jogging. Didn't he jog super early though? Oh shit. Steve had super hearing, would he be able to hear the twins heartbeat? Wait, could Peter hear their heartbeat? He hasn't tried to. He was so doing that when he got home. "Hey kiddo."
Peter turned to face Steve fully, hoping the constant stream of people walking around them made it so he couldn't hear the twins. "Hey, Captain Rogers. What're you doing out here?"
Steve lifted up one shoulder. "Got back from a mission a few hours ago, just needed to clear my head a bit." He gave a soft smile that didn't reach his eyes. "I didn't know you were coming over today."
Peter shrugged, lifting his hand to scratch his head and have a nervous chuckle. He can't tell Steve about the twins, Tony would give him so much shit if he found out Peter told Steve before him. It wasn't really fair either, Tony's basically his dad, he has a right to know first (after Aunt May and Wade, of course). "Oh, I uh. Well." He swallowed. "I was just gonna see if Tony could upgrade my suit some."
Steve raised an eyebrow and glanced at the Tower entrance and Peter. "Then why are you way over here?"
"Oh, I'm just," Peter shrugged, looking down. "Thinking, I guess."
"Yeah?" Steve tilted his head towards a cafe a little across from them. "I know I'm not Tony, and we aren't too close, but if you want to talk we can."
"Thanks Steve," Peter smiled up at the blond man. There weren't a lot of people in the cafe, if he couldn't hear their heartbeat now he definitely would be able to in there. "But I'm good. I think I'm just going to head home, but um, can you give my suit to Tony please?"
Steve nodded and reached out to grab the small bag Peter pulled out of his backpack that contained his suit. "Anything specific you want done?"
Peter bit his lip, he needed the extra padding. He couldn't risk the lives of his babies, he wouldn't. "Um, yeah. Some extra padding, around the abdomen of the suit. Some guy got in a few hits and it made me realize how important vita organs are, ya know?"
"So I'm told." Steve turned and started walking towards the tower. "I'll see you later Pete!"
Peter almost let him go. Almost let him walk into the tower without saying anything else, he shouldn't say anything. Shouldn't draw attention just in case Steve decided to focus more on his stomach. "Um, Steve?"
Steve stopped and turned to look at him, his face open and earnest and so damn caring. "Yeah, Pete?"
Peter looked down and played with the bottom of his shirt. He swallowed and chewed on his lip. "Um, your mom. She was a nurse, right?"
Steve froze, something flashed in his eyes but was gone before Peter could figure out what. "Yeah, why? Thinking about changing careers?"
"No way, Tony would freak." Peter snorted. "No, I was just curious. Did she ever, um, deliver?"
Steve's eyebrows rose to the top of his head and when he spoke his voice was just a little high. "Yeah, some, why do you ask?"
"Um," Fuck fuck fuck, think Parker. Peter wrung his hands together. "Well I was just thinking about the uh, differences?" Peter winced, that sounded fake even to him. "I mean, we didn't even have ultrasounds until the 80s so I was just curious about, about all that." Peter ended weakly.
Steve was silent for a moment. "Well, I wasn't there when she helped deliver. I was too sick and ma didn't want me getting any babies infected."
"Oh." Peter looked down.
"But," Steve started, he sighed and gripped Peter's bag tightly. "One day, she came home crying. Which wasn't too odd, a lot of people died back then, sometimes the medicine didn't work or the mother died giving birth or the baby just wasn't strong enough. Sometimes she would cry, but this time." Steve shook his head, already lost in thought. "She was sobbing, her whole body was shaking, she was breathing too fast. I thought she was dying or something so I ran and got the neighbors."
Peter reached out and grabbed Steve's hand, giving it a tight squeeze. He smiled down at him and squeezed back. "You don't have to, if it's too much."
Steve shook his head and continued. "Took them a while to calm her down, took me even longer to get the story outta her." Steve closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Apparently, the twins she was helping deliver died. I didn't get it at first, it wasn't the first time a baby died while she delivered so I didn't get why she was so shaken up." Steve opened his eyes and met Peter's attentive gaze with a bitter smile. "The mother, she started to push before the doctor got there. The first baby's head was coming out and before my ma could do anything one of the other nurses, she uh, she pushed the baby's head back in. Broke her neck, the other one suffocated. Ma was horrified. Blamed herself for not being fast enough. Took her a long time to get over that."
Peter stared, eyes wide and filled with horror. His lower lip wobbled and his eyes burned. "She just...pushed them back in? But everyone knows not to do that."
Steve brought his hand up to cup Peter's face, using his thumb to wipe away a few stray tears. "We do now. We know a lot more today than we did when I was growing up."
Peter nodded, that was true. But still. "What happened to her? To the nurse?"
"My ma yelled at her, but other than that? Nothing." Steve shrugged. "The family didn't have enough money to sue, and even if they did it wouldn't have done anything. It sucks, but that's life."
Peter glared at the ground. That nurse killed two babies and nothing happened to her. Nothing. Who knows how many other babies she killed? Peter shook his head, he couldn't think about that. There was nothing he could do, the nurse was probably dead now anyway so it didn't matter. He felt Steve's stare and a second later he sighed. "Don't think about it, Peter. There's nothing to worry about, we learned our lesson and it doesn't happen anymore."
Peter nodded, he ached to touch his stomach. He doesn't know why, but now that there are two babies in there touching his stomach calms him down. He couldn't do that though, it was a dead give away. Instead, he clenched his hands and moved them to his side. "Yeah, okay."
Steve looked at him. "Anything else you want to know?"
Peter shook his head.
"Everything is gonna be okay, Peter." Steve said softly, then before Peter could respond he made his way towards the tower. Peter watched him go inside and continued to stare at the entrance. Did he know? Maybe he really could hear their heartbeat, or maybe he was just being nice. He let out a soft sign and turned to walk back to the subway. He'll tell Tony tomorrow, and the rest of the team at a later date. Right now all he wanted was to go home and sleep.
Well, that wasn't exactly true. More than anything he wants Wade. He pulled out his cell. There was a text from MJ, but nothing from Wade. The last thing he needed right now was to cry about his boyfriend, who just so happened to be the father of his children, in public. He can wait until he gets home then cry his heart out curled up in Wades clothes.
Peter got off the subway and walked towards Wade's apartment. His apartment. It was supposed to be their house, but with Wade gone and not knowing when he'll come back (because he is coming back, he is) it's now just his. He doesn't know if he can pay rent, but Wade always pays months in advance so he has some time to save up. But Peter doesn't want to live in that apartment without Wade, he doesn't want to live anywhere without Wade.
Peter reached the entrance to the apartment complex and sighed. It's been a day and he already misses Wade so much. He wants his happy and perverted boyfriend back. Peter walked up the stairs, because while this complex may not be absolute shit, it's still not the best. He opened his apartment door and went straight for the kitchen, throwing his backpack on the couch on his way. He made himself a quick sandwich and went to take a nap.
He took off everything but his boxers and layed down with his phone. He already called Wade today, so he probably shouldn't call again.
But, it's been hours since he left that message. It's almost 4, so it would be perfectly reasonable for him to call. He quickly pulled up Wades contact and called before he could talk himself out of it.
He closed his eyes as it rang, silently begging wade to pick up.
'...please leave a message after the beep.'
Peter tried to ignore the growing ache in his chest as he hung up. He'll give Wade a few days to get his emotions sorted and call him back (or pick up his phone) before he starts to worry. Just a few days, a week max.
He went to MJs contact and sent her a quick message asking her to set up another appointment at the pregnancy center for next week. He wants to see his babies again. He wants to watch them move and make sure they're okay. He'll have to get Tony to find him a personal doctor, one who knows he's Spiderman, so he can talk about risk and what to do to protect the twins while he's out patrolling and when he should stop going out as Spiderman. He also wants to know how his enhancements will affect them, if it'll get passed down or not.
Peter fell face first into Wade's pillow and groaned, there's so much stuff he has to do and he barely even knows where to start. He needs someone here with him. Someone to help him figure out what he's supposed to do. Wade is supposed to be that someone.
Peter got out of bed and grabbed one of Wades shirts, then curled up under the blankets. He'll worry about all that tomorrow, but right now he just wants to sleep.
He was out a second later.